Your child is not invited…what is so hard about that?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
8905 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

Well, how old is the baby?  In their defense, it’s really pretty hard to leave a 0-4 month old baby alone for even one evening… breast-feeding, super fussy, haven’t figured out babysitters yet, etc etc.  If you have guests with young infants, I wouldn’t be surprised if they decline.

But regardless, that’s a pretty annoyingly pushy email.

Post # 4
Member
2884 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I thi k its because often babies under 6 months (or at least under 3)are made the exception to the rule . 

Older kids, i dont know why they think theyd be an exception

Post # 5
Member
2222 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

That’s a pretty rude email.

If the couple has an infant, they might just have to decline. Sucks but it is what it is. I don’t understand either why some people always think they are the exception.

Post # 6
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Yeah, young babies are breastfeeding constantly.

The guest didn’t word it well, but it’s a valid question – clarify however you feel comfortable. If it’s a no-go, say so.

Post # 7
Member
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I get that having a 0-4 month old makes it hard to attend a wedding, but I am sure they turn down invitations for parties to stay with their children all the time. What makes a wedding different?

 

Post # 9
Member
1926 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@March1stBride:  For me it was ESPECIALLY NO INFANTS! They cry, A LOT! thats no fun for anyone! 

I am curious as to what you are going to say back! Good luck! 

Post # 10
Member
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@March1stBride:  I wouldn’t make this an exception to the rule because if they come to the ceremony, they might cry or winge (which is understandable, babies can be fussy or uncomfortable) and I wouldn’t want a crying baby ruining my wedding video. And @lolot:  is right, its hard to leave a baby thats only a few months old home alone, so in that case, if I were that couple I wouldn’t go, and I wouldn’t have sent that email, it was rude, an Adult Reception is clear, no kids! I would find a nice way to tell them, sorry but no kids/babies.

Post # 11
Member
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Infants CRY one big reason we aren’t having kids at ours. At least a 6/7 year old could be quiet if forced during a ceremony, there’s no control over an infant crying. Tell her I’m sorry but we are making no exceptions because then we have to make an exception for everyone and you understand if they’re unable to attend because you know their child’s needs come first. Be happy she emailed you so you have time to respond and were not put on the spot in person or on a phone call:) End of story. I’m so over people thinking no kids doesn’t apply to their kids. I completely get your frustration I’ve had it also without no kids wedding planning.

Post # 12
Member
1470 posts
Bumble bee

This email would annoy the hell out of me. Instead of trying to be the exception, they should decline. Such pushy wording!

 

Post # 13
Member
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@Daizy914:  ++++++ 1 saw this after my post, exactly my thoughts 

Post # 14
Member
873 posts
Busy bee

If they left the baby for a weekend vacation, I can’t see one night being a big deal!

Post # 15
Member
5460 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Breastfeeding infants are typically an exception, but if this is an older baby who has already been left with a nanny or sitter for extended periods of time, they should be able to do the same for your wedding.  They can decline the invitation if they choose not to.

In regards to newborns crying… the brand new ones usually just eat and sleep.  My brother’s girlfriend brought their 4 month old baby to our wedding and we didn’t even realize it until halfway through the reception!  She nursed during the ceremony and slept for the next 2 hours.

Post # 16
Member
9529 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Several points.

  1. It’s rude of her to word things that way. I don’t fault her for asking but it’s presumptuous to say ” you cannot possibly mean infants right?”
  2. You have the right to not invite anyone you want. But realize that comes with consequences and people may get upset and not come. 
  3. Infants are typically harder to leave at home than older children. Especially if mom is nursing. So I think people are more likely to not come if they can’t bring their newborn as opposed to not bringing their 5 year old. So take that into consideration.
  4. The nice thing about newborns is that they don’t usually cause the problems that people worry about kids at weddings. They aren’t going to be running around. They’ll probably sleep the whole time. So they’re a lot easier. Take that into consideration as well.
  5. At the end of the day, you get to make the call. Try to be polite and let her know your decision. Then stick to it.

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