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With all the research I've done on engagement rings, I'm struck by one thing -- how freaking expensive, even for the "alternatives" like moissanite, these things are. BF and I both make decent money and I have some savings that we'll likely use for my ring. Now, we live in an expensive area and are just moving in together and will be saving some money doing that, but there's still only a little left for savings each month and it seems silly just to pour that into a ring. Then again, its expected. My one hesitation for getting moissy is having to tell my mom its moissy. Anyone who asks, sure, but my mom will be super judgemental of BF if we get moissy or if she finds out I pay for it. Now I can afford to get the ring I want in diamond, but it means using half of the money I have in liquid savings at the moment. Its iike, I can afford to get the "real" version (which would be about 13K) but is it worth it to meet expectations? I don't know. Is it also something that we'd be questioned on, when we make ~120K combined that we're only spending 3K-ish on a ring? As you can see, I'm conflicted. I guess I am just shocked when I see some of the rings on here, like, how do people afford this?
So, if you will, what is your combined salary (range) and how much did you spend on your ring?
ETA: I should also mention that both BF and I come from families that are "well off" and have some money so I think expectations on their part are higher because of that as well...
@lamourbleu: The "saying" is 3 months salary of the person buying the ring, if that helps. I think it's worth it, but I have always known I wanted a nice engagement ring. I don't wear much jewelry at all and have never had a "dream" vision for a wedding but I have always "dreamed" of my future engagement ring, so it was worth it to us (him?) to spend more and get the diamond I wanted to wear for the rest of my life. We bought preowned which is really the best savings out there. I also did not like the look of moissanite compared to a diamond and found moissanite to fall "flat" in certain lighting conditions and not look as sparkly from afar compared to a diamond because it had little sparks of fire not long white beams of sparkle like a diamond. Just my opinion!
To answer the question: My bf and I make $130,00 starting and he spent $18500 on a preowned ring that was originally purchased 4 months prior for $31,000--(we offered $500 more than a jeweler who wanted to buy it for resale, and we ended up getting it!) Also, I should mention my bf has a lot of money in savings.
I wouldn't spend half your savings on a ring that expensive! Holy smokes!
Since you asked, our combined income is about 210K, and my ring cost just under 5K. So, for my personal frame of reference, a $3000 ring on a 120K combined income isn't an "only" figure at all!
I think it's just about your priorities. We make upwards of 150 together, but I still just wouldn't be comfortable walking around with a ring the price of an economy car on my finger. We ended up spending 3500 on my E-ring, which I still felt like was a LOT.
I know exactly how you feel with the money (I live in Arlington, too!) We're roughly in the same bracket as you money-wise, and I know FI didn't break the bank on the ring (I told him in no uncertain terms to not spend more than $5k on a ring.) He went to Boone & Sons in Farragut and got a fantastic deal -- and it appraised for literally double that he paid.
Hope that helps a little!
First, you should get the ring you and your partner are comfortable getting. Don't let other people's expectations dictate what should be a very personal choice for you and your fiance. No matter what you decide, there will always be someone who will have something to say whether it is positive or negative. From what I have read on WB, moissy seems to be a very good alternate to diamonds if you are abhorrent to spend that much on a ring. Sometimes I wish I knew about it before FI and I picked out my ring.
Edit: forgot to answer your original question. FI and I make a total of around $140,000-$160,000 depending on our bonuses, and he spent roughly around $16,000 on my e-ring.
We make $170,000 combined and my husband spent $20,000 on my ring. Three months salary is what he went by. I've seen some really amazing rings under $5,000. I don't think you have to spend a ton to get something beautiful.
We make between $150k and $160k together and my ring cost between $7k and $8k. It had nothing to do with the "rule" just what we were comfortable spending.
We did not go by the three months salary rule. FI spent an amount we were comfy with from her savings, and we still have some left over for a down payment on a house and/or a rainy day. Honestly you should do what you are comfortable with.
We make about $100k together and are spending $3200 on my final ring (just one, not separate engagement/wedding rings). It is the ONLY ring I want and we're both happy with the price :)
We didn't use any kind of rule! I waited for a good sale to tell my FI which ring I wanted, and also traded in an old ring that I had.
Our combined salaries are about $90,000.
The original price of my ring was about $4500. It was on sale, plus I traded in an old ring, which brought the total price including tax to $2300. The store even had a 0% financing option for one year, which FI took advantage of and paid it off over about six months.
FI makes ~$60K and spent $15K on my ring. It was what he personally felt comfortable spending and he saved for almost a year. Personally I didn't mind. It's not like we were broke or anything while he was saving for it (I didn't even notice he was saving for it!).
At the time we got engaged I was unemployed, so we were just living on FI's salary which was $50k at the time. My e-ring cost just under $1k.
We make like $110k combined/year. My ring was around $5k. However, his friend is a diamond jeweler and got us my stones at wholesale and custom made the setting for free.
Together we make maybe 40k a year (we're both in college, so we work part time during school and full time in the summer). My 1ct moissy cost us $600. I think that's a fair price and it's my DREAM RING. My mom would be super judgemental if she knew it wasn't a diamond...but she can't tell (it's unenhanced,but round which apparently fares better). Problem solved, everyone's happy, and I'm SO HAPPY about it!
I make about $100K and my fiance is unemployed and returning to school. I didn't want an engagement ring, but we exchanged custom engagement necklaces, which were about $250 for the pair. We spend about $650 for our pair of wedding rings. For me personally, I wouldn't be willing to spend more than $500 on jewelry I am going to wear every day. It's just too easy to lose things, and I can think of a lot of ways I would rather spend the money.
what he paid for my ring is about 1 week's worth of our combined salaries. I am just not into having expensive jewelry.
by the way the "rule" used to be 2 months salary. I've noticed that people are now saying 3 months. it's like the expectation has been inflated. personally, I think that 2-3 month salary rule is complete BS. no matter what you earn, 2 months of your hard earned money should not be going towards one piece of jewelry!
I never said the 3 month "rule" I said the "saying" is that it is 3 months salary. I think the whole positioning of calling it a "rule" is silly! Of course you buy what you are comfortable spending! In case anyone was referring to my post.
@allergicbee: oh, I understand. it's the diamond marketing people that shove this down our throats-- I didn't mean to imply that you have bought into this "rule" :)
I'm basically bashing Debeers here, not any PPs!
Fi and I together make about 115000 and my ring cost about 20000... i didnt want a ring that expensive but he insisted that it was the one
@janie-janie: okay! I just wanted to clarify! :) It is kind of funny/ridiculous that it used to be 2 months, I didn't know that.
OP, I would definitely say that you two should do what you're comfortable with. You have to wear this ring, no one else. If your family is so upset, let them provide the diamond. If you're opposed to diamond because of the ethical reasons, then lay it out for them. I hardly think they could really argue with "have you seen what these people are doing to each other over carbon atoms?" and you wanting to make sure that there wasn't a chance you would be involved with it.
Currently FI are both in school, so our income is like, $0000.00 It's really great, let me tell ya. His Mom got our ring. I think that's the tradition where she's from. She was pretty adament about getting the ring for us. It was about 6k, but she has a really good friend that owns a jewelry store, so I'm pretty sure she got a fantastic deal :)
I personally believe that 3 months salary (as well as a lot of the night prices associated with wedding are a crock of beans)
Our combined salary is somewhere around 100k (mine differs greatly month to month depending on what grant I am working off of)
My e-ring costs 2,800 and 2 wedding bands cost 600 total
there are cheaper ring options out there than the chain jelery stores, there are even a few places where you can make your own rings and they will teach you how for a very reasonable cost. you just have to get creative
At the time we were married, our combined income was $110k-120k. We spent about $200 on our wedding bands (they were each $100, no stones). That is two *hundred*, not thousand. Personally I think spending thousands on a ring is absurd, no matter how much you earn. I figured, why on earth would we do that? Now, our 5-year anniversary is coming up this summer and I have decided I want a ring with stones (or, a stone); I'm choosing a moissanite ring (for many reasons). But you're right, even moissanite can get crazy expensive.
We also both come from "well off" families.
I second what previous posters have said. Go for what you want, and what you can reasonably afford: don't choose based on other peoples' expectations. And whatever you get, it is none of your mother's business!
man you guys are ballin' SO makes 30k and I'm a student so made 7k this past year. My ring was approximately 450
We make $165k combined and he spent $6500 on the ring. I wouldn't have spent that much if he'd consulted me, but he saved for it for a year on his own (mostly before we lived together, so before it was really "our" money).
Also, why tell your mom if it's a moissy? It's none of her business whether it's a diamond or not or how much was paid for it or by whom. If she's going to be judgey about it and bring you down, she forfeits her right to the information.
We spent about 6% salary on the ring. But the comfort level wasnt based on our income but savings amount. We had a lot saved up for a house and just dipped into that a little - less than 5%.
My FI and I both come from "well off" families, but as teachIng as both of our chosen professions we combined make about 80k annually. We chose a ring for about $1k that was simple, and everything I wanted. Our parents said it seemed small and were intrigued by our choice, but it's not their opinion, it was mine that won. Also, we decided to do things a little off tradition and paid for the ring together to ease the financial stress burdening oly him. We both chose an emotionally filling profession, just not one that fills our pocketbooks. But all in all, I couldn't possibly be happier.
@lamourbleu: We make about the same as you and both come from well off families too. In total, we spend $2000 on my ring, $350 on my band and $275 on his band. I don't think salary has much to do with it-- I loved what I love. I think the only "upgrade" I would do would be to put in higher quality diamonds. The ones in my ring are nice and sparkly, but still only I2's and not great in any of the other areas too. In the end, it was worth saving the money to buy a house right now.
ETA: My ring cost about 1/2 of his monthly salary, and 1/4 of our salary combined, which is pennies with the rule.
Together we make 6 figures. We could have afforded a much more expensive ring, but we opted to go with moissanite, so my ring was around $2500 (The setting was more than double the cost of the stone lol). The money we saved was mostly put in to our mortgage! :)
My SO makes about 25k-30k (grad school), and I'm currently in school, making pennies. He has about 70k of student debt. A lot ofthe rings I LOVED were about 3k, but I just felt like that was way too much money. That's a lot of rent, and we're moving to an area with expensive rent, and I'm not sure what kind of job I'm goign to get. I found one I really like (wish the stone was a little bigger, but we went antique, so you can't pick and choose!) and got it on etsy and it was about 1200. Wedding bands, of course, TBD. Gotta get engaged first :)
Hey bees, I see now that I referred to three months as a "rule." I sooo didn't mean that the way it seems. Honestly I do think it's ludicrous and I guess that I referred to it this was without thinking shows the level of brainwashing I have experienced in reading wedding magazines, shows, etc. Ugh. What a shame. Again I really didn't mean to use that word.
Your finances and purchases shouldn't be about meeting other people's expectations. They should be about meeting your own.
You're seriously considering shelling out the cost of a new car on a small rock.....just to meet other people's expectations?
Think about how warped the wedding industry has made perceptions of what is "necessary" for an engagement, and then think about whether you're willing to buy in wholeheartedly to that. You can get a stunning ring for less - just get the moissy!
(oh, and my ring was $2500, which is more than 10 times less than a 3 month combined salary for the two of us! There are so many options in lower price brackets!)
Two weeks' worth of our combined salaries. Any more than that and I think I would have gone into shock.
Combined we make around $210K per year and my ring was around $25K
We make about $90K combined and he paid $5,500 for my ering. My wedding band is $1300.
My ring was a week of my salary. I just cant fathom spending that much on a piece of jewelry (for me, I don't really wear much jewelry)! I picked Moissanite for ethical reasons and I love it so much! Oh, combined we make $80,000 until FI gets his permanent job offer!
Its less what you pay for the ring vs what you make and more what you have in savings and can save in the next few years.
If you can recoup the investment in the ring relatively quickly (1-2 years), go for it. If not, then no or look at your expenses and see where you can cut back.
This is not meant to be an investment, but an emotional decision, but at the same time it does need to be made smartly.
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