(Closed) Your family + the ILs = nervous?

posted 7 years ago in Family
  • poll: Do you get nervous when your family is together with your ILs?
    No, they all get along just fine! : (11 votes)
    35 %
    Yes. They clash so much! : (7 votes)
    23 %
    Yes and No. Depends on which family members. : (9 votes)
    29 %
    Other... : (3 votes)
    10 %
    They haven't met yet or they won't meet until the wedding. : (1 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    6573 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    i would have your fi deal with his mom.

    i still get a little anxious when our families are together, just b/c they’re all so important to me and my husband and i want everyone to like each other and be happy. they do get along great, our families are very similar, but it’s still nerve racking.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2392 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I get nervous even though they’ve met a few times and get along very well.  Both my family and his are really into politics, but with different views on a lot of issues.  I am always paranoid it will come up and there will be screaming.

    A couple months ago, my parents and his Dad and Stepmom had dinner together without us (our families live close to each other and we live far away) and there was no screaming match, so maybe we’re in the clear by now?

    I think it’s pretty normal to feel anxious, but in your situation specifically maybe you can ask your parents about how many they think they can accomodate.  You don’t want his family to feel excluded, but you also don’t want there to be 200 guests and one bathroom, so it’s pretty reasonable to check in on that.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2205 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I would have your FI talk to his mom….maybe stress that your parents are going for a more intimate gathering? However, if you have extended family there and exclude your future in-laws extended (extended being defined as aunts, cousins, etc), then prepare for drama.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2373 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    I get nervous, yes….My parents do not like my MIL for reasons I will not go into.  I would never ever ever ever ever consider having a family get together with both sides of the family.  It would be 100% awkward b/c the two sides of the family are so completely different.  I get shivers (not the good kind) just thinking about it.

    On that note, I (along with DH) have a blast when we’re with either side of the family.

    Post # 8
    Member
    516 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    FI and I have very clashing families- so get togethers make me very nervous…but I am hoping the more they see of each other the more they can get along better.

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