Post # 1
Bees, I am feeling a bit behind schedule. I know you can’t live life to a timeline, and I know you can’t measure your success by someone else’s. But I still can’t help but feel a little sad that I’m in my mid-twenties (my FI is in his late twenties) and I haven’t had a baby yet.
I always thought I would have a kid before 25, but when my first relationship didn’t work out after nearly 10 years, I focused my attention elsewhere. I have a great career, and I bought a house by myself. Now I’ve met my perfect man and we are focused on our wedding and building a life together.
I am very blessed in many ways, but after having one miscarriage and hearing all about my friends’ babies, I just feel a little blah today and like I should be further along in my life than I am. So, my question: how old were you when you had your first baby? Are you happy with your timeline?
Post # 3
I was 18 and turned 19 a month after I had her. I was too a head of schedule. My ideal age for having kids was 21-22 but I was raised in a family where you get married at 20-21 and start poppin’ out kids.
Post # 4
When baby is due, I will be just a couple months shy of 25, and I am very happy with how things have worked out. I started trying earlier than I’d have liked initially, because I was told I would need fertility treatments – and I did. And it took multiple years to get pregnant. As tiring and expensive as it was, I couldn’t be happier with how things have ended up. I am happy with my current age/being pregnant. Now the only question in mind is if I really want to go through that experience of infertility ever again. In the mean time, I am just going to be psyched to have our little girl this August!! 🙂
I don’t know that I really believe in being ahead of or behind the curve. Things just happen, and we can’t always decide how or when they do. We just have to keep on livin’ our lives. If anything, I commend you for your responsible outlook on life, and I would try and remind you that it sounds like you are in a wonderful position with a great partner to continue to grow your family! I am so incredibly sorry to hear you have suffered through a miscarriage, and I can’t even imagine the heaviness it weighs on your heart. But I would not worry about it being too late, or later than you hoped, because when things work out for you it will be worth it.
Post # 6
I will be 29 in June with our little one.
Post # 7
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@BoxerLady: I always thought I would have all of my kids before 30. Well unless I am pregnant now (it would have to be a miracle because I am on birth control), I won’t be a mom until after 30 since my birthday is in December.
Sometimes I feel a bit behind because so many of my friends already have at least one child (one just announced that her fourth is due!) But in all honesty I know I was not ready to have a child in my 20s (I was selfish and in a bad relaitonship/marriage) and I am glad that I have waited (and got divorced.) Current FH and I agreed to wait until our first wedding anniversary before seriously discussing TTC so I have a bit longer to wait.
Post # 8
My son was born a few months after I turned 26.
Post # 9
I was 21 when I had my son, I’m 27 now. Try not to feel too sad. Actually, sometimes I wish I had done it in the order you’re doing. Different things and timelines work for different people and you’re doing great 🙂
Post # 10
24 when I’ll have my first in a couple months. It happened a little earlier than I would have assumed it would before meeting my husband, but even after we got married, we told people we were going to wait a few years (baby is due right around our 2nd anniversary) but we ended up trying earlier because we changed our minds haha. There is no perfect time, and I would definitely not worry about it getting “late” for you! I find that my and my husbands’ “timeline” has changed a lot in the past few years!
Post # 11
I was 23 when I had my first, 24 when we got married, 25 when I had my second.
Post # 12
We got married when I was 22 and now are expecting our first at 23. I’m glad to have kids younger because I always wanted to be a younger mom then my parents. However many of my friends are nowhere near having children
Post # 13
You’re only in you’re mid-20s. You haven’t even really lived yourself, and you’re already sad about not having created a new life?! Travel! Have an awesome career! SLeep in! Love life! You’re free!
I’ll be 30 this year, and don’t have a single regret about still being child free. I LOVE my life right now. We probably won’t try for at least 2 more years.
Post # 14
When we have our first baby (I’m PG right now), I will be 30. Amongst our circle of friends, it’s pretty common for first time moms to be 28-35 (ish). DH has a doctorate and I have a masters and most of our acquaintances do as well. As such, because of starting careers later and getting graduate degrees, a lot of the couples choose to wait.
Post # 15
I’m 31 and due this Friday! I hadn’t decided whether or not I wanted to have kids, so I very thouroughly enjoyed my 20s and am glad I waited. I was able to travel, buy a house, pay off my car, establish a loving, committed, strong relationship, get married, and have tons of fun before the baby.
ETA- In no way whatsoever am I insinuating that these things can’t be accomplished after having a baby, I’m just saying FOR ME I’m glad I did it in this order and on this timeline.
Post # 16
@crayfish: @DaneLady: This is what I am trying to focus on. I bought my first house at 23 and am in the market to buy a second (my first will become a rental property). I have been able to advance much further in my career than many of my peers and am already making over $100,000 on my own, and over $200,000 with FI’s contribution.
I agree that this way makes sense as I can give my children a really stable life but the emotional part of me sees my friends with little ones and it pulls at my heart strings. One of my friends is living in a very cramped apartment with her baby and neither her nor her DH’s career is on track. She tells me that I am doing things in the right order.
I guess for now I will enjoy sleeping in, traveling, and having my “selfish” moments that will vanish once kids enter the picture 🙂