Post # 1
Thinking purely from an idealistic point of view, how long do you want to / wished to have been enaged?
And in the comments feel free to explain, and include what your actual engagement length will be / was and if it differed from your ideal and why.
My answer is 13-18 months. I am a planner, meticulously so. I like to have plenty of time to make decisions. Plus I think being engaged is such a fun time of life and there’s no reason to rush it, for me personally.
In reality my engagement will be 19 months. I wish it could be at least few months shorter because it seems soooo far away right now. It will be that long mostly because all the venues I like were already fulled booked out 13-14 months from when we got engaged. And then you hit the winter and we didn’t want a winter wedding, so it got pushed back two whole seasons from what we were orginally thinking. While on one hand it sucks to wait so long, on the other hand it is giving me plenty of time to plan and save up!
Post # 3
@christina-joy: I voted 3-6 months because that is what I ended up with! We are having a destination wedding in Vegas so I think its a lot easier to coordinate than if I were to plan a wedding in my hometown where all the vendors are all booked up!
Post # 4
@sugar_biscuit: That makes sense! I’m sure I could pull off a wedding in 6 months or so but I’d be much more likely to stress out at some point. That’s just the way I am! Our anniversaries will be very close together. 🙂
Post # 5
Mine was originally really long… 20 months!
But after three months of prices going through the roof and the budget inflating by 30%, we decided to half the guest list, quarter the budget, and get married a year early!
So we planned our wedding in 5.5 months. It was perfect–No time to question our decisions or try to plan a wedding that could be in “Brides” (Which is great if you have the budget and the time! But we had neither, so no pressure!)
That being said, my perfect engagement would have been 12 months (or maybe 13), and would have involved both sets of parents winning the lottery and going “Here! Have 100K for your wedding! And another 20K for your honeymoon!”
Post # 6
Depends on where you are in life… and how old you are. I’m on the younger side, so I don’t mind enjoying a longer engagement. If I were older and wanting to start a family soon, I might opt for a shorter engagement. I don’t want a HUGE over-the-top wedding, so planning in 3-6 months (if I had too) would be okay with me!
Post # 7
@BrandNewBride: Something VERY similar almost happened to me, haha. Before we made a firm decision on our venue we toyed with the idea of having it in my parent’s backyard, and we would have made that an 11-12 month engagement and had a guest list about a third the size. I really liked the idea but FI is pretty traditional and did not like the idea of having to exclude so many people we’d like to invite. I’m excited to be getting married in May anyway, and we both love the venue we landed on. 🙂
I do believe I will have plenty of time to second guess myself a lot though, haha. Oh well, we’ll make it through!
And yes please to winning the lottery. 🙂
Post # 8
I wouldn’t call myself that “old” but I’ll be 28 and FI is 33 when we get married… and we are jumping on the babymaking train shortly thereafter!
Post # 9
I think a year is good. It really doesn’t take longer than that to plan a wedding and I didn’t see anything “fun” about it. Not that it wasn’t fun but I didn’t want to be engaged for any longer than that. That’s what I like for myself. For others I don’t judge. I have some people around me that have been engaged for 5+ years and I haven’t seen any of them get married.
Post # 10
My engagement was 19 months long and I think it was a bit too long. I would have wanted probably 12 months.
Post # 11
Ours is just over two years, by choice. We wanted to have enough time to save up, enjoy being engaged, and plan the day without too much stress (financially and otherwise). It’s worked out quite well!
Post # 12
Our engagement will be just about 10 months (1 month to go!) – which seemed like forever! We were originally planning on having a 7-mos engagement, but it didn’t work out due to FSIL’s wedding that was supposed to be in Oct.
I think had we gotten married in Oct or Nov, it would’ve been perfect.
Our wedding is small and intimate, so we could’ve definitely planned it in 7 mos – especially since most part of our 10-mos engagement, we sat around twidling our thumbs. Haha. 🙂
Post # 13
@christina-joy: Six months would be ideal but nine and a half (what we are actually doing) isn’t bad either haha. I think if we were doing a summer wedding where things book up faster I would say a year to make sure we were getting the vendors we want but practically everything was still available when we started book 9 months out and I think 6 months would leave less time for stress and indecisiveness and I am super impatient hahaha
Post # 14
Our engagement was about 18 months long, I’m getting married next week. That is my only regret, it was waaaayyyy tooo long. And I’m a planner too, DIYed all my centerpieces, it was still too long. I wish our engagement had been closer to a year.
Post # 15
I chose 13/18 as my ideal. I don’t want to rush and/or be stressed out during the planning process. I want to be able to enjoy that time because it’s only going to happen once. I will be engaged for exactly 18 months on my wedding day. We got engaged in November and I wanted to wait until the weather was nicer, so we chose May. So it was either get married in 6 months or 18 months…I chose the latter.
Post # 16
I want a year and a half, and that’s just about what it’s going to be. I change my mind a lot, so I need that time to back and forth on decisions so that I’ll be confident that I like what I choose. Also, I’m a procrastinator, so the extra length helps.