- 5 years ago
- Wedding: December 1969
So, this is way jumping the gun here, as I’m only 8w pregnant. However, I’ve been thinking/wondering/fearing about our future baby and my in-laws.
To give a REALLY brief background, I don’t have a volatile relationship with them. They live very closeby, but we never see them. They don’t call or talk to me, and only rarely to FI. We are basically strangers, only invited to holidays. FI doesn’t make an effort either, so it’s NOT all them. In contrast, my parents are very involved, and help us out if and when we need it, they call and talk often. They invite us over all the time for family dinners and are very family oriented. They’re also close by.
I don’t agree with, or honestly, respect the way they treated their children (my FI and his siblings). They did whatever they wanted whenever they wanted, and because of it, had a tough time accepting the reality of adulthood. Now, they constantly criticize their other daughter-in-law who is raising their grandkids for every disciplinary thing she does. They are mad they don’t see the kids more often, and think she is too overprotective.
I don’t want to be in that situation. I don’t want to be criticized. My dads mom was very mean to my mother and I hated to see that, and I’m afraid of the cycle continuing with my ILs. I honestly would not trust them alone with my child. One of them is a hoarder, and I do not think their house is safe, and do not agree with their parenting choices.
So how do you have a relationship with them when you live so closeby? How are we going to make this work? any suggestions? I feel like it would be easier to move far, far away. Lol