(Closed) your opinion on cheating

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4328 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

This is one huge lump of grey. I’d love to say I’d leave if I was ever cheated on, but the truth is you never know until you’re faced with the situation and whether children are involved, etc. Some people choose to work it out for the sake of children, but when there’s a clean break , it may be easier to leave.

Post # 4
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

many differnt kinds, IMO. Emotional being the worst. I might be able to forgiv my DH if it were a drunken kiss on a hot girl or something, but other anthing more than that nope.

Post # 6
Member
9561 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

There are two types of cheating, emotional being a more grey area for me than physical. Kissing someone else is the minimum of physical cheating in my opinion. I feel I would leave if FI ever cheated, but I don’t know how I would feel if confronted with that situation, so I may feel differently.

Post # 7
Member
7878 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

The trouble with emotional cheating is it’s a grey area. What he might think of as a friendship that’s a just a little closer than it should be, I might regard as emotional cheating.

Physical cheating is clear cut. My best friend’s husband cheated, and soon after their marriage broke up. She said that his friendship with this girl had been going a while (she didn’t use the term “emotional cheating” but that’s what she meant), but after he’d slept with the girl, that was when “he changed” and it was irretrievable.

So i could forgive emotional cheating, probably. But physical cheating: no more chances, I’m outta here.

Post # 8
Member
4525 posts
Honey bee

I definitely think there are 2 types of cheating: physical and emotional. After that, it’s all, as JulesSchnooks said, a lump of grey. While I usually say that I’d try to work it out, it would really depend. I don’t know that I could look at him the same, knowing he’d been with another woman. On the other hand, I love him and I have loved him through a lot of things, so maybe I could work on fixing it with him (and a lot of therapy).

I think it’d be really circumstantial. He’d leave me in a heartbeat and I know that. For me, it’s just so much more complicated than that.  

Post # 10
Member
512 posts
Busy bee

For me, it would be more difficult to forgive an emotional betrayal than a physical one. 

There is always a point in time where a decision, whether fully concious or not, has to be made.  As far as I’m concerned, once that line is crossed, I’m done.  If my partner is motivated enough to entertain the thought of an affair, obviously our relationship isn’t important enough to work on, and I’m far too independent and secure in myself to stay in that environment.

 

Post # 11
Member
4417 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I know I wouldn’t leave if DH cheated on me unless he was in love with the other woman. It would take a lot to repair our relationship, but I know it could be repaired as long as he hadn’t bonded with her emotionally. If he could recommit to our relationship and marriage, if he still loved me, I could find it in my heart to forgive him and work on our marriage.

To me, emotional and physical cheating are equal. Although…and this is just me, because I know others won’t agree, I think I would find it harder to forgive emotional cheating. 

Of course, if I were married to someone else, I might feel differently. Every relationship, every person, is different, and the consequences would have to reflect those differences. 

Post # 12
Member
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@Pokemon:  

I am very strict on this issue. Zero tolerance policy. He cheats, we are done. Period. There is no maybe. Marriage and relationships are about values, committment, integrity. You break it, you made a clear choice to break it and that means you don’t respect your partner.  Emotional cheating is also an offense, if you mean that he is having some kind of intimate email exchange with the person. No, not okay.

Post # 14
Member
1497 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Out of my five ex’s, three of them cheated on me. Physical cheating was easier for me to forgive than a full on relationship behind my back…meaning making out/hanging out etc. If a guy slept with another woman, I think it would be way too difficult for me to forgive. I think that emotional cheating is really dangerous for a relationship, because if someone is in love with another person, they’re not 100% in the relationship. Physical can be gray too…whether they were drunk or sober or how far they go are all factors. 

My husband has told me that if I cheated on him, he’d still stay with me. It meant a lot to me, because it shows how much he really does love me and needs me in his life. I would NEVER EVER cheat on him, though. A lot of it is also because I’ve become a mom to his daughter (who’s bio mom more or less abandoned her when she was 2) and neither of us want her to grow up without a mom and a dad, so we work really hard to keep our relationship happy and stable. We don’t hurt each other because that would hurt her. Kids are a huge factor in keeping a relationship intact no matter what.

Post # 15
Member
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

 emotional cheating IMO….I think you can find it a lot on the inernet. Where a person falls for another person that they would never be able to actually see (lives in another country) or the circumstances makes it impossible for them to physically be together.

 

Post # 16
Member
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I think a good way to decribe emotional cheating is…if the opportunity was there then the people would physically cheat.

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