(Closed) Your Opinions Please Ladies :)

posted 7 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I think it shouldn’t be a problem at all, unless your stepmom is contributing financially. If she is, then she kind of does have a right to some input on the decor (even though, from the sounds of it, her taste makes me want to run for the hills). If you’re footing the bill on your own, then you can just politely remind her that it’s your wedding, not her’s.

I think your “winter’s night” ceremony theme (that’s kinda how I pictured it, anyway) and fun black, white and fuscia reception sound awesome. Plus you have lots of time to put together some budget-friendly, great-looking decorations.

Post # 4
Member
494 posts
Helper bee

I think that your color ideas sound awesome. I think the huge flip flop from all-white to adding the drastic black and fushia will be amazing. I have never really understood the concept of just because a parent is helping pay for the wedding that they get it to have it their way. I dont know if that is the case but either way I would just simply tell your step-mom that you are having the colors that you want so deal with it.

Post # 6
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m sorry if this isn’t helpful, but I wouldn’t get too stressed out about your colors so far in advance.  I had a very definitive picture of color palette / tone even before getting engaged, but your opinion might change  organically (like mine did, many times) as you move forward and are exposed to other ideas. 

I am absolutely thrilled with what is planned 3+ months from now, but it is definitely different that what I had in mind when my planning started.  So I would allow yourself to be flexible because you have a long time to build your perfect wedding.

Post # 7
Member
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

You know what. The whole “If their paying” thing is true…. to an extent. Footing all/some of the bill gives you an OPINION, it does not mean that what the person thinks is the word of god. I hate that people try to use that to get brides to allow themselves to be steamrolled.

My parents are paying for my wedding. You know what my parents paying is getting them? Input. My parents and FI are the only ones I ask for advice or for an opinion from when I am debating something about the wedding. They give opinions and I consider them. We compromise. I’m not saying to be rigid and only pretend to listen. I’m saying keep what you like and throw out what you dont. I am very non-traditional and my mother is very traditional. She gave me my small guest list, my awesome downtown venue and the theme I wanted with no complaint. I gave her a formal sit-down dinner and an open bar, neither of which I saw the need for. Compromise is the key word.

I think that you and your stepmom need to have a chat just like my mother and I did. Explain that you love her and value her opinions and very much appreciate her involvement in your special day, but that’s what it is…. YOUR special day.

I think your ideas are great and will look beautiful. Tell your stepmom that ANY colors can be wedding colors. There are some beautiful fuschia and black inspiration boards on Perfect Palette. Maybe giving her a visual of those colors in the context of a wedding would help her understand where you’re coming from.

Edited to add- I just read your 2nd post. If they’re not paying, then you definitely need to have that talk with her. This is YOUR wedding, not hers. She needs to step off.

Post # 8
Member
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

If your step-mom is only contributing a tiny amount, I think you definitely have the right to tell her that we aren’t in the 80s anymore and that the decorations/colours are up to you and your fiance. If she’s getting so difficult about this one aspect so far in advance, I wonder if you’ll be in for major headaches once the bigger wedding decisions come up…tough situation; you should probably put your foot down asap! good luck!

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