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That's strange, maybe she knows women who wear 'engagement' rings but aren't actually engaged? Or if your ring is non-traditional, she was wondering if it was just a pretty ring and not an engagement ring?
The only interesting comments I get are "Wow, how big is it??" which I find really rude.
Ever since I got engaged I started noticing other women's left ring fingers- And I've seen a lot of them who I know aren't engaged but sometimes wear a ring. For some its an informal promise ring, for another thats the only finger her heirloom ring will fit on. And then theres some girls who wear a fake e-ring so guys won't hit on them (never seems to be effective)
I guess she was just curious and didn't want to assume and get all "OMG congrats!" if you weren't engaged, I wouldn't be offended- people are just weird.
I've had people say to me, "What a pretty ring, are you engaged?" I always thought it was a "duh" but I suppose it's better to be safe than sorry. I'm sure some people wear engagement ring-looking jewelry on their left hands and then it's awkward when they tell people they're not engaged.
I get it a lot. It's frustrating, but I just grin and bear it since it comes with the territory or having a different stone.
Maybe she thought you looked super young!
I could tell she wasn't being rude... it was just funny because I've never gotten a question like that.
My ring is pretty traditional (princess cut stone, 2 smaller, kite set princess stones on the side, and 10 stones set into the band) so it's pretty obvious that it's an engagement ring, to me, but I guess someone could mistake it as just a pretty piece of jewelry.
As for me looking young, it is a college bookstore on campus, so I'm fairly sure she's younger than me, but I do look really young for being 23 (being 5'1" doesn't help my cause). I did have that thought myself after I left, but whenever I have that thought I always get the urge to convince people that I am, in fact, 23, and then I get self conscious about how people perceive me.... So i try not to dwell on it much. :)
I actually notice alot of people who aren't engaged wearing rings on their left hand...I don't really get it??? So maybe that's why she asked?
It's true - I know many people who either wear promise rings, or some will even wear a ring just to kind of ward off unwanted approaches?
I know some teens who wear rings on their left finger so if I see someone who looks super young wearing a ring on their left finger I might wonder if they were really engaged or not but I wouldnt ask.
I'd like to think that she thought you looked really young and hence the question but it's still rude nonetheless. I wore rings on my left hand when I wasn't married but that's just because it fit on that finger.
I know! I've noticed that too.... I think if it were me, though, I would have worn a promise ring on my right hand (just personal choice i guess?)
I will admit that I used to wear rings on my "ring finger" but they were clearly not engagement rings... The main one was a ring my grandma got me when I graduated, which was really pretty, but it just had pink tourmaline in it. It didn't scream "getting married" to me.
Idk. I know it isn't a big deal, but I still think it's really funny.
@bells: Dang it! Now I'm worried that I look like a teenager....
I had my first run-in with a non-engagement ring on someone's left ring finger yesterday. I was at the mall and stopped in a jewelry store to see their gemstone ring collection (I've told BF that I do NOT want a diamond). The lady working there seemed about my age, and she mentioned that she didn't like diamonds very much, either. She gestured at her left ring finger and said she had just gotten a birthstone ring. I gave her a big, "Oh, congratulations!" but she blushed and said it was just a shiny thing she bought for herself. I was a little embarassed. I guess I can understand now why people would want to confirm your engagement.
i've known people that aren't engaged that wear rings on their left hands anyway. one girl said "it's a note to the guy - if he can't do better than what I already have, he shouldn't bother trying!"
she was kidding, but I thought it was a funny idea :P
@sewing: That is so funny! I never would have thought of that!
I used to wear a ring on my ring finger for a while the summer before I came to college (the ring my grandma got me) but after a while I stopped wearing it and when I got engaged I was almost never wearing rings.
So, I guess for people who know me, it was pretty obvious when I started wearing it that I was engaged.
At first I would get a lot of "Did you get engaged" or "Is that real?" from girls I had classes with that I hadn't told (I wasn't the type of girl to come to class and make an announcement) but that wasn't a big deal at the time because I knew them. This is the first person I have never met to ask me a question like this.
@tinylittlebird: I've tried to convince many people I'm 23 usually I get 17 its awful having to show ID everywhere lol. I have a promise ring that can easily pass as an engagment ring so I'm sure she just didn't want to assume and make you feel bad if in fact you weren't
That happened to me yesterday!! The person grabbed my hand and said, "That's very beautiful!". I said "Thank you!". Then she said, "So are you engaged?". And I wanted to say, "No, I just bought myself a diamond ring for no apparent reason..." I just smiled, said yes, and answered her questions. So ODD! I guess people walk around with fake erings?
I also feel your pain about the age thing. I will be 23 on November 20th and people always assume I am in high school. We will appreciate it when we are in our 40s.. haha
@criscamz and @Chipmunk: Isn't it frustrating?!? I know people keep saying that we'll appreciate it when we're older, but how much older do I have to be for people to stop thinking I'm in HS, at least? In 3-5 years when we start trying for kids are people going to think I'm some girl who got married right out of HS and is popping babies out too soon? I don't want to look old, I just want to look my age while I'm still at the fun age to be :)
lol, I think people's brains just stop working at any mention of engagement/wedding. I've gotten the strangest comments about my age (19 when I got engaged), the size of my ring (3 cts tw) and what kind of "things" (sexual was implied) I'd done to get that ring. Um, wtf???
I typically wear at least one ring on the larger size everyday. FH and I got engaged last Thanksginving. When I came back to work, no one even really noticed the ring. Plus, I'm not the type to run around shoving my ring in people's faces. However, I did have people later tell me they thought it was just a nice, sparkley ring and asked if I was "really" engaged. lol....oh well....people are still acting surprised that I'm getting married.
Before my engagement ring, I would wear rings on my left ring finger all the time. It's my smallest finger by about a half size, so some rings would fit perfectly on that one and none of my other fingers. Plus I think it's more comfortable than wearing a ring on my middle finger... maybe I'm just weird. But the ones I wore you could tell were not engagement rings.
That's an odd comment - you know, I have seen women how wear rings on their left hand (like costume jewelry), so I can understand perhaps if her friends do that...
Ha ha I know what you mean. I get mistaken for 20 all the time, which is not so great when you teach high school. I'm currently teaching abroad so I left my real ering at home, and I'm wearing a pretty hefty white sapphire that I got for $30. It looks like the equivalent of a 3.5 carat diamond, so a lot of people think I'm way too young to be engaged and way too young to have what they think is a giant rock. I catch ladies staring at it in meetings, and I feel kind of self conscious. I should have just bought a dainty ring from Claire's :)
I bet that girl just thought you were young and was surprised-- hence the awkward comment. Keep wearing that sunscreen ladies. We're all going to be cougars together.
Haha! Sounds more like a slip of the tongue than a meaningful comment...but that is wierd!
@LittleAudrey: HA! The cougar comment made me smile! We're going to be the mom's that get our sons picked on all the time because all their friends think we're hot. :)
A friend of mine wears a fake engagement ring to bars, mainly just so she isn't bothered by any guys.
I know A LOT of girls who wear rings on their ring finger and they aren't even in a relationship. Still, I think she should have kept her comment to herself :/
growing up in resturants its was very common and actually encouraged to have the female staff wear simple wedding band type rings on their ring finger. when you wear a small simple ring you would get better tips and generally be treated better by the customer thn if you wore no ring or a big osentacious ring. my mother actually would wear her proise ring to work because when she wore her actual wedding ring(she had diamonds from her wedding jewlery set sodered on) she would hardly make any money because of the big ring. if she wore no ring she would get treated like crap. one woman made a point of showing my mom her ring and saying something to the effect of "dont wish you could have gotten one of these instead of waiting tables for the rest of your life".... except it wasnt even that nice. next time you go a nice resturant take a look and you might be suprised
lol i am a server and i once had a girl at my table ask me, "are you really engaged or do you just wear a ring to keep people from bothering you?" ummm yea im really engaged lol
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I was in checking out at the book store, and the girl who was checking me out saw my ring when I was signing the receipt and said "Your ring is pretty, are you really engaged?"
I just smiled and said "yeah" and she was like "It's really pretty" and then I said thank you and went on my way.
However, I feel like the comment was strange. If someone had asked "Are you engaged" i don't know if it would have caught me off guard, but "are you really engaged?"...
I thought about it as I was walking out- would someone be wearing an engagement ring who wasn't engaged? Do I not look like I'm a person who would be engaged? Is she just bad with grammar?
Either way, I found the situation really funny. Has anyone else gotten any funny ring comments?