Post # 1
My officiant just sent me our ceremony and it’s a bit longer than I expected. He told us to make any changes we want as it is our ceremony. I really like it as is I’d just like to take out a lot of repetetive comments and poems- I just don’t want to offend him! I’m also not sure of the etiquette on this. What role did you play in writing (or re-wording) your ceremony? Am I just thinking far too much into this as I worry about his feelings? He is not our pastor, just a non-denominational officiant we hired for the wedding. Thanks in advance!
Post # 3
DH and I were very involved in our ceremony wording as there were some things that we wanted to make sure were included and there were others that we didn’t care for. Our officiant was put off a little by it (because I think he thought he would be a little more in charge than he was) but who cares, it was our day. Go with your gut and don’t be afraid to speak up.
Post # 4
We used a non-denominational officiant, too, and we completely wrote our ceremony (using samples from the internet, lol). I would just re-word it, chop sections and add some. He won’t be offended at all.
Post # 5
Oh thank you both so much! That makes me feel a lot better!!
Post # 6
We’re planning on writing our ceremony. When we interview prospective officiants that’ll be a major question–if they’re not okay with it, then it’s likely they won’t be hired.
It’s a simple matter of services for hire–being respectful of his or her position is a good idea, but in the end you are the customer and this is a very big thing to not be happy about in the end. Make sure that you’ve got any state requirements out of the way (the consent portion, for instance, is a required element a lot of places), otherwise push for the ceremony that you want.
Post # 7
Our officiant provided a template and I used it to create our vows. i actually had to addmore poems to extend the ceremony. Our ministerwas very accomdating.
Post # 8
It’s your wedding, he gets to say what you want him to say. 😀
Our officiant was my high school pastor and my husbands mentor, and we pretty much let him have his way. We gave him a few things we wanted to incorporate, and he ran with it. He knocked it out of the park.
Post # 9
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
You are paying this person for a service. I am sure he/she wants you to get exactly what you want, so edit away.
Post # 10
This is the first place I had ever heard of someone writing their own ceremony. It’s a little weird to me.. kind of insincere maybe? I don’t know. We just told the pastor what vows we wanted and trusted him to take it from there and he was great.
If he asked you to tweak it then I think it is fine to do so.