Post # 1
- Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia
I was baptized Anglican and would love to stick to my Anglican roots for a wedding ceremony.
(Regardless of denominations…)
– What does marriage prep typically entail?
– What were your take-aways that you weren’t aware of.. prior to attending marriage classes?
– If you don’t mind me asking, how much did you pay for marriage prep? (I originally did not budget for this… )
– Did your church require you to be a member to take prep classes? (I am planning for a destination wedding… and am worried about taking the classes locally, then having to transfer them to another province in Canada)
Post # 3
My pastor wanted us to take premarital counselling, but since he is my FIL he suggested we do it with a family friend. This guy was AWFUL. He spent three sessions going on about how our engagement isn’t longer than a year and how we were absolutely not ready to get married because we didn’t like that he suggested we just move in together. So be careful who you go to!
Post # 4
@Cynderbug: Wow Im interested to hear the responses. I’ve never even heard of marriage prep!
Post # 5
I am a non-conformist/ Methodist, and FI is Catholic. We are marrying in the Catholic church. Unusually, we are marrying outside of our parish due to disabled access issues. Our parish priest did a few sessions with us about money and communication etc using a series of tapes (all free). It was very interesting and really got us talking about issues we had never discussed before. FI is a member of that priest’s church, but I am not.
Our officiant priest, however, wants us to do FOCUSS… which costs £90 for both of us. It’s basically a series of questions which you answer, which are scored. The results are then given to a trained marriage counsellor and you discuss them. To be honest, I’ve looked at some of the questions and I find a lot of them really ambiguous. It’s like when someone says “what would you do with a windfall? Spend it, or save it?”. My answer is: how much is this windfall? Is it £2,000, or £1 million? Also, what counts as spending? If I overpay on my mortgage, is that spending? How about charitable donations? I have a feeling I’m going to be one of those difficult ones…
My mother used to counsel people prior to marriage, back in the days when she was a minister (before she became ill… long story). She said that one of the keys was to get people to discuss why their previous relationships had failed, so that they could repair their damaging and negative behaviours. She said it was amazing how many of them had not even thought to discuss this with each other, and that after she sent them away and told them to come back when they had discussed it, if they weren’t comfortable discussing it in front of her, many couples never returned!
Post # 6
We are half way through our ‘Preparing for Marriage’ mentorship through our denominational church.
– What does marriage prep typically entail? We filled out an application for marriage, completed an online compatibility test, met with a Christian therapist, and then were set up with a mentoring (older) couple in the church. We have met with our couple every two weeks for four sessions (we have three more). During these sessions we talk about chapters in the book Preparing for Marriage by Dennis Rainey. I chapters are detailed and done as homework. My FH and I sit down and talk about our homework before meeting with our couple.
– What were you take-always that you weren’t aware of… prior to attending marriage classes? The biggest thing so far that I have taken for the course (this answer could grow over the next couple sessions) is the expectations that my FH and I have for our marriage and how to communicate when issues come up.
– If you don’t mind me asking, how much did you pay for marriage prep?
Marriage pre – $125
Pastor – $250
Healthy godly marriage – priceless
– Did your church require you to be a member to take prep classes?
I think you should take them even if you hire some person on the destination site. The marriage courses are designed to help you set the foundation for a healthy life long marriage, not a wedding. Invest in your in your husband. Or buy the book, I mentioned above, from Amazon or any large book store and do it with your FH.
Doing the sessions and chapters from the book have been challenging for us. But every week we walk out knowing that we want to marry each other and with more tools on how to have a biblical lifelong partnership.
I hope this helped! 🙂