Post # 1
this came up in convo last night amoung a group of friends of mine and FHs and it turned into a heated debate…. i do not want that to be the case here on this board!! just interested in hearing everyone’s opinion….
do you care if your SO goes to a strip club? and reasons…
i’m on the fence….not to put TMI out there but, my FH and I are very sexual ppl so while on the one hand i wouldnt mind as long as I was there and we both had a good time together. However, on the other hand, i’m not sure i’d be comfortable with it if i saw him extremely enjoying watching a woman who isn’t me…..seriously find myself kinda torn on the subject….lol some of my friends take offense when they’re SO seem to think its not a big deal and sees it as “just another manly activity”, like playing video games or something….
Post # 3
I hate them. FI claims to hate them. He was dragged there by co workers for a psudo bachelor party, but that’s the only time he’s been since we’ve been together. We both agreed – NO TOUCHING. I can swallow it if there’s no touching. But the idea of a real, live, basically naked woman shaking it for him? Hate it.
Post # 4
I don’t really care. My FI had his bachelor party a couple weeks ago and I knew they were planning to go to strip clubs. I was like, “Good, go have fun, no drinking and driving!” He knew the rules about where to draw the line and I specifically instructed him and friends not to tell me any details. I’m sure he got a million lap dances, but I don’t need to know about it.
I like to think of it in these terms, as my very smart sister once said about her husband: “I don’t care where he gets his appetite, as long as he eats at home!”
Post # 5
In general I find them to be tacky. What comes to mind is one nearby that is called “VIP” and looks like… well, a ridiculous cliche. The thought of going to a gentleman’s club across from a freaking Whole Foods seems somehow ridiculous to me. I wouldn’t want my fiance to get a lap dance, but I don’t think the strip club itself would bother me.
Our philosophy on it is that we talk to each other before anything potentially hurtful comes up. So far, strip clubs/GCs never have.
Post # 6
@lilybay: I like to think of it in these terms, as my very smart sister once said about her husband: “I don’t care where he gets his appetite, as long as he eats at home!” nicely put!! lol
Post # 7
My only rules are no back rooms and no strippers in hotel rooms.
Post # 8
They don’t really bother me. I doubt FI will be going on the bachelor party, mostly because my 14 year old brother will be there, and his married best man is a saint 🙂
FI was out of town with some buddies over the summer, and he called to tell me the guys wanted to go, and he wanted to know my thoughts. I knew if I said no, he wouldn’t go. But I didn’t care, so he went, and called me as soon as they left.
My rule is – no strippers at anyone’s house, and no lap dances in a back room, etc.
As long as he follows that, I am cool.
Post # 9
This is always an interesting convo! For some reason this does bother me, although i completely trust my FI and am not worried about him pursuing anything with another woman something about strip clubs rub me the wrong way! My skin kind of crawls when I think about him watching strippers…. but porn doesn’t bother me. Who knows — It’s nothing I’d cry about but it sure makes me pissy. ha! 🙂
Post # 10
I voted for other… It bothers me, not because he has me; but because I don’t think it is ok to go to strip clubs in general. I strongly believe that no happy, balanced woman would choose this for a living; and men going there are getting “entertainment” out of women’s misery that led them where they are.
Also, I am one who thinks sex should be something special between two people who love each other, and something special – not some hobby to occupy your lonely Saturday night..
Post # 11
@SuperShopper: i feel the same!! i dont mind porn…dont mind FH going to strip club…but feel like i have to vomit when the thought of a stripper being on him comes to mind… ::gag:: lol
i agree with most of yous…i dont mind as long as no lines are crossed…
Post # 12
It doesn’t really bother me. FI has never been to one (and is now 27). I’ve told him he can go if he wants but I’d like to know first. He could even have a lap dance as long as it doesn’t become a habit.
Knowing him he’d go and make jokes with his friends rather than really be all that enthralled by the strippers.
I don’t really have any desire to go (I’ve never been either) but if he wanted me to go with him I would.
Basically, I don’t care if he goes every once in a while with buddies, I would care if it was a weekly thing.
Post # 13
I guess my issue with the strip clubs is the money. I dont like the thought of my FI spending so much money, which can be used for things that would benefit us and our life together. Rather than benefiting some stripper that is only after his money.
My cousins husband was bragging about spending $2000 dollars at a strip club in one night, and this just disgusts me. They are by no means in the financial position to be spending that kind of money on something so frivilous and IMO disgusting and disrespectful.
Post # 14
@HoneyBear: this is a good point that didn’t even come up among my debate between my friends!! lol and to be honest, i didn’t think of that either…good point!
Post # 15
I’m buying a stripper pole for our bedroom before FH comes home from overseas. That’s going to alleviate any talk of strip clubs when the bachelor party talk comes around. Even though I know FH does not like strip clubs he’s not going to waste time going to one if he has entertainment at home!
Post # 16
I find the whole thing annoying. I mean, I don’t care if my husband goes. I DO care when his friends beg me not to tell their wives (who I am friendly with) and then I have to listen to wives/girlsfriends talk about how “ooh my husband would NEVER go there, he thinks they are disgusting” when I know for a fact that they all went for each other’s bachleor parties. This just happend recently when is brother was in town-the brother’s friends were freaking out in the morning about their wives finding out. Grow some balls people. They all act like they have them when it comes to strippers, when it comes to wives and girlfriends-not so much.One guy even told his wife they went camping for somebody’s bachleor party (again-they were no where near camping), and I had to talk to her about their fake camping trip when I saw her at a work happy hour. annoying annoying annoying!