Post # 1
My FI’s former boss is like a family member to him. They worked together, just the two of them, for 15 years. They don’t really keep in touch though. We hadn’t talked to him since my FI’s birthday party nearly a year ago and before that it had been a while.
When I sent his invite, I addressed it to him and his gf, a woman who he’d been with for many years. The RSVP just came back, and I’m thrilled that he’s traveling to our wedding, but horrified that the second name on the RSVP is NOT the gf whose name I wrote on the invite. It’s been long enough that the new gf might live with him or more. I hope she didn’t see the envelope/pick up the mail!
Post # 3
Whoopsies!!! A girl I was childhood friends with was in a really rough spot. She was really depressed and down. I don’t really talk to her other than via FB. At some point early on in the planning process I told her of course she was invited to the wedding to cheer her up. I tried to get together with her on numerous occassions but she always fell through on it. Then she totally disappeared from FB and I didn’t hear from her for months. I didn’t even up inviting her and I still feel a bit guilty and awkward about it.
Post # 4
i forgot to send an invitation to FI’s sister! we used her guest list from her wedding a few months ago and of course she wasnt on her own guest list…so embarrassing.
Post # 5
@totheislnds: I’m sure she understood! I totally see how that would happen b/c I forgot to include us in the counts for everything since I was just tallying my guest list.
Post # 6
I sent an invite to my aunt in the states and figured i’d give her a few weeks before i called to see if she had made up her mind about making the trip for our wedding. When i called it ended up being, she hadn’t received the invitation at all and had felt slighted that all her siblings had received an invite except for her. anyways, it ended up being that i was one number off on her house address, so i quickly had to resend a whole new invitation.
Post # 7
I had already asked my friends to be bridesmaids… then my Fiance and I found out we had to pay the wedding ourselves so we decided to just have an intimate ceremony of 50 guests followed by a brunch reception… immediate family only with a couple friends.
We also cut the bridal party down to save on gifts, bouquets, etc… well I thought my Bridesmaid or Best Man would be understanding enough if I explained our financial situation and asked if they would mind maybe having a smaller role in the wedding, like saying a reading or being in charge of the guest book. My future SIL was totally fine with it, but my one friend hasn’t talked to me since. All she said was, “So I’m not a bridesmaid anymore?” I feel awful about it. Etiquette doesn’t lie when they say you can’t “unask” a bridesmaid!! I wish everyday I would have just figured out a better solution 🙁 I hate that I made such a horrific blunder!!
Post # 8
I’m about to send out our invitations. FI’s dad’s brother’s son has a fiancée, but no one seems to know what her last name is! Soooo I think I’m going to put L— and B— HisLastName and hope for the best… maybe they’ll be married before the wedding?? Hopefully??
Unless anyone has a better suggestion on that one…
Post # 9
I don’t know whether or not it counts as an etiquette blunder or just a blunder, but there are no pictures of me with my husband’s family from the wedding, nor he with mine. There is a picture of the two of us with his parents, but none with his siblings or grandmother or anything, even though a family picture was taken of all of them together. It just completely slipped my mind (and my Mother-In-Law is still kicking herself for it). My BIL thinks he can photoshop me in though 😉
Post # 10
@Miss BBQ: We had this issue. We just put “John Smith & Jane”. I asked my husband’s family about 50 times to find out her name, and they were too lazy to do it. In the end they couldn’t come, and they signed their regrets card “John Smith & Jane”. So I still don’t know her last name! 🙂
Post # 11
Have your Fiance or your Future Father-In-Law ask him! Seems like a no-brainer
Post # 12
@totheislnds: OK but looking back that’s kinda funny
Post # 13
@Miss BBQ: If you can’t sleuth it out, you could not know with a flourish and use first names only
Our Amazing Cousin Joe and his Beautiful Fiance Holly
1234 Happy Lane
Bliss, CA 09834
Sure, you’re not being formal. But if it’s your cousin, not your great aunt, they might just think you’re being fun on purpose and be flattered by it?
Even if I sniffed out the reason for a strange invite like that, I would think it was funny, whereas when reservations have come addressed to my SO by his first and last and me first only, I’ve immediately gone “Oh…they don’t know my last name.”
My last name isn’t one that you’d just remember if you heard it though. I have always been grateful that his family that don’t know well have included my name at all even if they don’t know my last name.
On the Q and A for our wedding website, one of the Q’s that I posted was “Are you going to change your name?” And my A was “No. You’ll all have to learn to spell it now if you haven’t already!” Maybe a bit too much, but I really have gotten a lot of invites over the years with no surname on them.
Post # 14
@Atalanta: FI doesn’t actually know his cousin at all. I thought maybe if they were facebook friends I could stalk the guy and find out his FI’s name, but no dice! Future Father-In-Law hasn’t been able to find out anything beyond her first name.
@Brianalaura: I was going to put her name first, so it just looks like I thought they were already married.
@Melini: Haha, this is awesome! If I had ever met them, I would totally do that. Since no one in FI’s family is close to him though, I don’t want him to think his cousin’s wife is a total freak lol!
Post # 15
I consistently misspelled my husband’s stepmom’s uncle’s name on our Save the Date and invitation envelopes. Didn’t even realize it until I got their wedding gift in the mail with the correct spelling. And I was way, way off. Like it wasn’t even the same name. But in my defense, I’ve never met this person and my Father-In-Law is the one who sent me his address with the wrong spelling. So I just went off of that info. But when I saw what his actual name was, I just about died.
Post # 16
I kind of covered quickly my biggest blunder so far. We had originally decided to do couple invites for those married, engaged or living together. I did a Facebook creep on all my cousins and his to find out all the info. Turned out the only cousins who seemed to have significant others were married or engaged and my FI’s one cousin who wasn’t did live with their girl. They ended up announcing their engagement before we did the invitations. Well we sent them out (yes extra early) and then I got a message from my mom asking why some of my cousins didn’t get plus ones. I started to explain about the married engaged, living with rule and how none of the ones who didn’t get a plus one met that. She then proceeded to tell me that one of my cousins had just moved in with a guy. So I then was like oh I meant married or engaged (I didn’t know that cousin had a bf even).