You're a fiancee, do you expect to be a bridesmaid?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: You're a fiancee, do you expect to be a bridesmaid?
    Yes : (6 votes)
    12 %
    No : (43 votes)
    88 %
  • Post # 3
    3222 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    @inspiration86:  is it obvious to everyone that you are personal friends with the other SIL? If yes, then your choice of bridesmaids will be based on friendship and not necessarily familial obligation. Buuuut…if you just randomly pick one FSIL and exclude the other, I can see how there is the possibility for hurt feelings.

    Post # 4
    2696 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    “(as you are a  grilfriend and also you both do not share a close  relationship)”…

    OP what ar eyou trying to get re-affirmed here? That someone should pick you top be a BM bc you are in a relationship with her BIL? I don’t think that there’s and obligation at all for a bride to pick anyone bc of their relationship ties. The bride picks who she wants, and that may not be based on who the FI is at all.

    Post # 5
    1355 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013 - Vine Street Church

    No. She should only pick the people she’s closest to, not feel like she has to pick someone just because she happens to be getting married to her sibling in the future.

    Post # 6
    4511 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011


    Post # 7
    6631 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Nope, only close friends to be BM’s.  If she wants to yes by all means include but not required to have siblings/gf/bf/so in the bridal party

    Post # 8
    6448 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @lina010:  +1

    My answer is the same as before. I would never expect to be a BM. And I wouldn’t pick someone as an obligation either.


    Post # 13
    4760 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Yes.  She is going to be your fam.  You’re gonna have to deal with her for the rest of your life.  Suck it up and have her as your BM.

    Post # 14
    6158 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @inspiration86:  no, unless i was very good friends with her personally, i would not expect to be asked.

    Post # 16
    10219 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Etiquette Snob here… lol

    There can be no “assumed obligations” etc when it comes to a Bride picking her Bridal Party

    Some Brides go with strictly family members (very traditional)… while others with their closest of Friends

    BUT there is no right and wrong… the Bride gets to choose WHOMEVER she wants… IF ANYONE… as a Bridal Party is not a necessity to getting married (and in recent years, some Brides even pick their guy-friends to stand up with them)

    Too many people IMO get their panties in a knot too many Bridal Party issues… if more people “read up” on how things work, and why, or where the concepts originated fom (including the “Traditional Etiquette” ones… there would be a lot less drama on the Brides & Maids front IMO)

    Hope this helps,


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