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I have never been told that I was curvy before. EVER... that is until tonight. My brain kicked in and was like " that means I'm fat". I mean it's one thing to say it to yourself, but to hear it from others.... The girl who said it immediately realized that I was taken back by it and I was uncomfortable. She told me she meant it as a compliment, even compared me to Marilyn Monroe. She might have meant it as a compliment but I'm still thinking "I wore this dress because it's one of the few peices of clothing I still fill comfortable in because it covers up all my rolls". She tried to get me to tell her exactly what i was thinking and even said how much she weighed and asked for mine, after much back and forth of "no or nothing" my fiance finally kicks in with "it makes her self concious". (Thank you FI, but couldn't you have said that sooner)
So how do you feel when someone else calls you curvy?
ouch. Sounds like she put her foot in her mouth and then didn't know how to get it back out again. :(
I'm sorry she was so insensitive!! (((hugs)))
i get called curvy all the time and I wouldn't say I'm fat. I'm fine with being called curvy. I realize I have bigger boobs and hips than most of my friends. Nothing I can do about it. If you've got it, flaunt it, right?
It does suck to go shopping with my friends though. They are all size 2, 4, and 6 bottoms and size small tank tops. I'm trying on size 12 pants and having a hard time fitting into XL tops. I don't like going shopping with friends all the time because even though I'm curvy and not fat they still make me feel fat (compared to them at least).
You could choose to interpret it that way, and sometimes people will mean it that way, but if she said it directly to you and then worried it didn't come across well she probably was complimenting you!
I've got a friend I'd describe as curvy and I mean it in a really positive 'you have an awesome hourglass figure' way!
I will tell you that one of my guy friends once told me I looked like an old school glass coca cola bottle. I asked him WTH does that mean??!! He elaborated that I was curvy and proceeded to make the motions with his hands. When I got a frumpy look on my face, he too immediately said it was a compliment, etc. I'm short and have a *ahem* rather large backside, but I'm still a size 4-6 (back then I was a size 4/110lbs on a bad day!). So no matter what size you are, you still get those comments. But lucky for me FI tells me almost every day that he absolutely loves my curves. I jokingly say every now and then that I'm going to get liposuction and he responds with a resounding "NO!!! Don't lose that big ol' butt of yours! That's your best feature!" Good thing there are definitely people out there that enjoy our womenly curves! 
@Poster who was reffered to as an old school coke bottle(forgot your name when I started typing this,sorry)- I don't know your nationality, but black men love coke bottles.LOL It was definately a compliment!
I've never been called curvy, but I have had several older men call me "healthy" which is something like that since older black men (50 and up) like women my size.(my SO is NOT 50,LOL) But, it depends on what I am wearing. If I am wearing a really cute dress and heels, I'd think thanks because although I am plus size, I have a cute shape, hips and nice breasts if I do say so myself.LOL Like the previous poster, I told my SO I wanted lipo (jokingly) and he got very upset because the booty would be smaller.LOL
Now, if I have on something ugly, I'd think they were being rude. Those veiled comments which are just being rude.
i'm on the fence about the "curvy" complement...I've been fat (heck, half my life...) but now I'm "thin" (well, on my frame I am...) but no matter where I've ever been - I've never ever been considered "curvy" - at my fattest (220 lbs) - i was just plain FAT (sorry but i was)...and now at 160 - I am thin, but have NO curves - literally i have no butt (flat as a pancake) - no thighs - and broad shoulders with a small chest.
i'd LOVE to actually HAVE curves - but at the same time - i totally get where some women would think that "curvy" could mean "fat"...but again, "curves" could mean just having a well-defined butt or chest (which again, i really don't have :() lol.
sorry i just don't know.
I think this question speaks directly to the current state of our culture and its opinons and expectations for women's bodies...I 100% believe curvy does NOT equal fat. I have a very curvy body, hips and boobs with a small waist, and I am in no way fat, but the culture and media make me feel sometimes that because I am not stick thin and straight as a boy, I must be fat. So take it as a compliment, because I'm sure it was, and there is nothing wrong with having a woman's body as opposed to a kid's. Just my humble opinion.
@MrsJellyBean- That girl was being rude and I'm glad your fiance shut it down. I think she did originally mean it as a compliment (like va-va-va-voom) but then just totally put her foot in her mouth. Who asks another women what they weigh unless they themselves have serious body issues?
@violete- couldn't say it better myself.
Studies show that men respond to images of women with hourglass shapes with more sexual attraction than the boy body style that is in right now. I love that curves have been celebrated more in the past couple of years. Curvy is a title I'd be happy to take, and I am in my healthy weight range. I see the teenage girl role models and feel so sad for my students for what is being shown to them as the "ideal." Here's a shout out to all the curvy ladies who like their bodies!
I think it depends on how it was said and who said it. Curvy doesn't mean just fat for example Beyonce is curvy and she is not fat. Marilyn Monroe was very sensual. Neither are the typical stick figure celeb and have been critized for being fat by certain people. I don't think they were fat in fact they think they are very sexy.
Before I gained all this weight when people called me curvy I loved it. As I started to gain weight I started becoming more sensitive. Now I am beyond curvy (i'm fat) and am working on going back to where I was. I have always been sensitive about my weight since I was little. My sister lost a lot of weight after she was sick in the hospital and I gained weight around that time. She would say really mean things, ask if she could keep my cloths since I don't wear them anymore and told me I was always chunky. When I look at old photographs I know thats not true.
I am sorry she continued to make you feel uncomfortable but I think curves are very sexy. Like I said it depends on who said it and how they said it.
I agree, it depends on how it's said.
Some women are just catty, and will cut you down to make themselves feel better. Proof: my calves are fairly defined from horseback riding and running. Not so big they can't fit in average boots, or are noticeable, though. When I worked at a shoe store, a woman came in trying to find boots that fit her well. I was helping her and she said to me, "yeah, but I don't have big legs like you." Um, thanks?
But curvy can be a compliment too. For instance, I think Christina Hendricks is beautiful and curvy. She's a bigger girl, but I definitely would not consider her fat.
ETA: I think you can still be curvy and a smaller size. I'm a size 2-4 and a C cup with a fair amount of ass, haha.
I would take curvy as not an insult. You are a woman with a chest and hips, be proud.
Marilyn Monroe was a sex symbol so that is not something to be saddened by.
@amariem25 I am in the same boat as you. Most of my friends are 4-6 in size and tiny.
We can fill out a top like no ones business though lol.
I've been called "curvy" on and off my whole life. And I've never been over a size 8 (except when I was pregnant), usually a size 6. I was a size 32DDD with hips that were somewhat proportional to my bust. But I know how you feel - I felt offended every time someone called me "curvy" thinking that people meant I was fat. size 6 is now considered fat? What??? I put on a few happiness pounds after the wedding and was inching into my size 8s. But I had breast lift/ reduction surgery at the end of January (went down to a 32 D- DD - actually still bigger than I wanted, oh well) and lost about 12-15 plus I'm working out hard 3-4 times/week mostly to get in great shape for the summer. But saw my "bad bridesmaid" (whole 'nother story) recently and she said "I'm not sure I like you this small, you really could rock the 'curvy girl' thing!" WFT?! I can't win. Jealousy cause she has body issues? I don't know.
Anyway, this post was my long-winded way of saying don't read "you're fat" into the "you're curvy" comment. Just rock it!
I don't equate curvy with fat at all. I'm a size 0 but have a C cup (natural!) and a rather large bubble butt. Curvy means you have shape, and a gorgeous one at that! To me, fat is when you don't have any defined shape. Take it as a compliment, becuase I think that is what she meant it as but she got her foot stuck in her mouth somewhere along the way :)
I think the original definition of "curvy" is positive - meaning you got an hourglass figure and aren't straight up-and-down - but recently it has also been used as a euphemism for overweight or fat (like people use it as a polite way to describe an overweight person), which causes the type of confusion you're facing. I am definitely curvy, with a size 4 waist and a size 8 ass, and never take it as a diss! If you know you look hot and someone tells you you're curvy, it's a compliment girl!!!
I think of Beyonce as being "curvy" and she is H-O-T!!! She has one of the best bods I have EVER seen. I am a size 4, small boobs unless I wear a bra with tons of underwire and those little gel pak things...I would LOVE to be more "curvy". Take it is a compliment girl! Sounds like you look awesome. =)
Oh- and I can see where you were taken back by her comment. I really don't want random people talking about my body. It is kind of weird and certainly does make one self concious to know that someone is actually paying that much attention to make a comment like that.
Usually, curvy is a polite way to describe overweight or fat women. But I doubt someone would say that to your face and mean it in that context, she probably meant the outfit you were wearing shows off your curves. Like you aren't just an apple shape, you have a defined waist.
I agree with everyone else that it was rude to even comment on your body. Believe it or not, it would have been just as rude to say "Wow, you're so skinny!"
I agree with you Modern Daisy. I hate it when people say "oh wow Tonya, you are so thin". It is NOT meant to be a nice comment at all.
I think she may have been trying to compliment you on your shape. People of all sizes have or don't have curves. But I do think it's rude in general for a stranger to comment on the shape of your body. At least in our American culture it is--I run into similar situations when I travel overseas (overt questions/comments about weight and shape).
Exhale and know that the people who love you think you're georgeous!
I appreciate everyone's comments. It's made me try to look at myself as a stranger would see me and realized it's not what I see in myself. Hey we're our own worst critic, right. And I really think this girl helped me, even though she opend up a very deep wound for me. It's not the first time someone has commented on my body... though "curvy" was a first for me.. and I think I went to a negative place right off the bat because of these other comments that were made that were not meant as a compliment. Even though I KNOW the person who made the extremely negative comments to me meant it as a motivation (I know stupid to tell someone they're "getting big" or that you're "not a little girl anymore" and expect them to be motivated. Especially when they're an emotional eater!) however it cut me so deeper, and though I thought I'd let it go, I realize now that I'm still having major issues with it. Funniest (not really) part of all is that the person who told me that I was "getting big", "no longer a little girl", and that "i'll pay for a gym membership for you" actually loves me very much.
I call myself thick or fat all the time but when other people say it (or if they would) i think i would react just the way you did and get really uncomfortable. I dont think its right for people to say that and everyone is right she put her foot in her mouth Big time! **HUGS**
I'm a size 4 but get called "curvy." I think it's about waist-to-bust ratio (or waist-to-hip ratio, in my case). I remember trying to borrow a suit for a job interview from a friend. Although we wear the same size, the suit that looked modest and conservative on her looked obscene on me because of the way it clung to my hips and bottom. Even at my lowest weight, I've "got back" and can't change it. Sometimes I feel frustrated that I'll never have a "willowy" figure, but when I see other women built that way (Joan Hollyway of Madmen, for example), I have no trouble recognizing their beauty. I agree this was probably a compliment gone awry, unfortunately.
mad_men_joan_hollyway_necklace.jpg (57.2 KB, 39 downloads) 2 years old 
@moderndaisy - respectfully disagree re: "curvy" being used as a polite way to call someone overweight or fat. "big-boned" or something like that, yes, but not "curvy" i don't think.
yes, technically in our society the "idealized" body type is a stick-figure size 0-2 or whatever, but no man I know IRL finds that attractive. curves are the bomb. men love them. women are jealous of them.
I don't like being called curvy at all. (And to be honest, I'm not that voluptuous compared to a lot of people in my family.) The only thing worse than being called curvy is being called "thick." eew. What's even more annoying is when aggressive men make comments about my curves--it's intimidating, and frustrating when I'm not trying to attract attention like that (wearing say, flip flops, jeans, and a tshirt). And the very worst is when people I don't know attribute my curves to my culture "you got those Spanish hips," wtf. It's crazy that strangers even have the guts to say things like that. And I think that's what bothers me. That you don't know me at all and the first thing you notice is the shape of my body. Not my smile, or even my outfit, but my curves.
It's just different for everyone. If I had the choice I would look a little less curvy. But since I don't, I try to be less sensitive about the comments whenever I can. lol this was just a vent, I swear.
Well, technically curves are made of fat, very attractive fat. I think of Catherine Zeta Jones as curvy Joan Hollyway above and I don't think anyone thinks of them as fat. Curves are mostly independant of size I think since lighter and heavier girls are all over the spectrum of curvy or not. I'm moderately curvy and would be flattered by such a comment.
The reason that I point out that everyone's curves are indeed made out of fat tissue is that I think the whole idea that fat = bad terrible evil ugly is just so wrong. There are gorgeous fat women, curvy and not just as there are gorgeous slender willowy women curvy or not. Yes fat has some negative health effects but as a society we totally pathologize fat tissue in a way that is not accurate and not healthy.
My mom is the first to tell me when I'm putting weight on. After the wedding, I was up 10 pounds in July. First thing out of her mouth was, "honey, your ass is getting big". I was eating some pringles and my dad said, "I don't think you should be eating those". I basically told them to F off because I'm not a kid anymore. It hurts (because it's true, sigh, I was up 10 pounds), but she was right. It's easy to say "no i look great!" but in reality, we all need that one person in our life who'll tell us when we've hit a point where it doesn't look good on us. NICELY hopefully. My parents always believed in tough love regarding my weight and while the things they said were harsh and untrue (no one loves you if you're fat, you don't need an extra ding dong, really mean stuff like that...), they still loved me and it was the only form of motivation THEY knew to give me. Probably because it's what worked for THEM. But definitely not me. Sounds like that's the case with the one person you're referring to. As we both know, it doesn't exactly give you a healthy mindset...I know it's something I deal with, still, to this day, even though I know I know better.
It sounds like she DID mean it as a compliment, but then got a whole case of the awkwards when you didn't take it that way, then tried to laugh it off and be buddy buddy with you, but then it just plummeted.
Curvy's not always a bad thing. I agree, sometimes people say "curvy" as a nice way to say overweight--because weight usually brings some extra curves. But, you can be curvy and it not mean fat, either. Just like the actress above =].
Try to give people the benefit of the doubt--99% of people won't say something ignorant to your face and mean it in the most negative way. Maybe this will end up being a "good" thing that has happened to you--as obviously you're reevaluating yourself and maybe gaining a new perspective.
PS i think "bootylicious" or "boobylicious" is a nicer way to say curvy, LOL. It sounds sexier =]
People who comment, especially cruelly on your weight, have serious issues and a hurt psyche when it comes to food and body image. We should try to pity them as they can't help their own damage.
Seriously, why exactly is it so very very important that we look our very best and weight the very best weight? Why? Most SOs are attracted to you no matter small variations in weight and frankly probably don't notice, they are attracted to the person. So, if it's not attracting and keeping a romantic/sexual partner, why is it so crucial? Is our worth really all tied up in our looks? Sure it's nice to be attractive but why is it so damn important? Do we want to sleep with everyone who sees us? Obviously not. So why do we need them to admire out bodies?
It's not about health, because than these people would be making cruel comments about thin people taking the car instead of walking, about cholesterol numbers and eating too much meat.
Personal vent obviously.
wait a sec-I'm a size 0-2 and my fiance thinks i'm hot, so please don't lump all men in the "men do not like skinny women" category. It goes against the whole oprah/cosmo "all women are beautiful" sentiment that is apparently for all women except women who are skinny. I love my body just as much as everyone else loves their curves, and there is nothing wrong with that.
As far as the compliment-I think she was complimenting you, not knowing it is sensitive you are to the subject. She probably feels awful. Generally, I never talk about weight with anyone because it is a personal and sensitive subject to all women no matter what size, and I think that is a good rule of thumb.
I've never taken curvy to be bad, well maybe when I was in high school and getting curves but after enough comments realize I just have a nice @$$. And not all curves are made of fat. My hips, and this runs in our family, are just those good old child bearing wide hips. Even when I am doing some super running and have as low of body fat as you can safely have for a girl, the curves are still there, yeah the bum is some fat, but the hips aren't, they're just wide.
lol thanks ejs. I know I'm overly sensitive when people say things like that but it is hurtful.
Oh my gosh ejs4y8, did we have the same mother???
My mom always used my weight to control me. I wasn't heavy, I just had a few extra pounds. We didn't have a lot of money, so she'd use losing weight to try to bribe me "if you lose 10 pounds, I'll buy you a new swimsuit" or "if you lose 10 pounds, you will sing better"... she always used the "no one will love you if you are overweight" line ALOT. When we'd go try on new clothes for the school year - instead of saying you each have a budget of 50 dollars, we'd walk in with an armful of stuff and she'd tell us we didn't look good in stuff until we walked out with only one outfit...
It took me a LONG time to deal with that - I still have a negative body image because of it!!!
Sorry to hijack the thread - but I had to comisserate!
To me curvy is sexy, when I think about willowy models and actresses yes they're pretty and there's something almost fairy like about them, an innocence to them. But I like the sexiness of Marylin Monroe and Liz Taylor over the waify innocence of Mia farrow and Audrey Hepburn, don't get me wrong, I think Audrey is one of the most iconic and stunning women of our time and she wore it extremely well but I think (and I think she's been quoted on this) even audrey would have preferred to look a little more womanly.
@JadeBlue- I agree with you. I think curvy is more of a "waist-to-bust ratio" or "waist-to-hip ratio".
MrsJellyBean - I've always been larger on the bottom and was really insecure because of it. Most of the time, if you're called curvy, it's a compliment! However, the first few times I was called curvy I was really denfensive. I'm sorry that someone's comment made you feel this way!! Something that may help, google "curvy actresses" and see who is brought up! When I did, it came up with Scarlett Johanson, Kate Winslet, Beyonce, Selma Hayek, Katy Perry, Kim Kardashian, Jessica Simpson, etc... and all of these woman are beautiful, IMO!
We can't really control what people call us, but we can control how we interpret it. Someone called you curvy? Run with it and assume she was referring to your amazing hips/butt/boobs!! Forget whatever else she might have meant and take it as a compliment. Case in point: I have really curly hair that gets huge when it is humid outside. My dad, who doesn't really like my natural curl, often comments on how "big" it is and how poofy it is. Of course it's big! It's naturally curly hair. It's a huge, awesome curly mess and I have to remind myself that I love it that way.
Cricket, one of the beauties of humanity is how we all prefer and like and think different things are sexy. You comment can be read to imply that it is an objective truth that one body type is sexier than another - I don't think that's true. That Audrey Hepborn would have prefered to be more curvy tells us nothing more than if Merilyn Monroe wanted to be thinner - only that women are likely to be disatisfied with their bodies no matter what their bodies are like.
I would love to be called curvy. I love the way womens body's were in the roman time. Had meat on them. I don't like dog bones. he he he.
i really don't think she meant it as an insult. i think she reacted, or as some have said, sticking her foot as opposed to your reaction. i was talking to both of my bff's and they told me i have an hourglass figure (ooooh really) 'cause i am in a serious size 16. but i am working on getting in a 12.
ok seriously?!?! people responding on here are size 4?! what are you doing in full-figured? I always call myself curvy, but now that I hear your responses about being size 4 and 6 I'm F~ing FAT!!!
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