Post # 1
Well, not now Mr. Buzzkill.
FI saw an email on my computer from my boudoir photographer and asked me that before I could close the window. He sounded almost discusted when he said it. I shifted a little uncomfortably and said “No I’m not!” and we kind of sat there for a bit. I could tell he was uncomfortable about something- but I didn’t want to ruin the suprise.
Thinking back I should have just ruined it and asked him about it.
I has planned on giving the small book to him the morning of the wedding as a sexy & fun suprise-but not now.
Honestly If I hadn’t already payed for it and spent 300+ on new lingere to use for the photos and the wedding night I would just cancel.
Post # 3
Mods, could you move this to emotional please? Thanks
Post # 4
Can you give it to him the night before the wedding? I mean getting ready, having the guys/family over he may be worried about other people seeing it.
Post # 5
@HisIrishPrincess: I agree. I think giving it to him the night before at the end of the rehearsal dinner is a much better option. Otherwise the other guys he might be getting ready with will probably want to see what he has and that might make him uncomfortable.
Post # 6
@MissFireFlower: I am in the same boat! I have booked a session with our wedding photog, she does both boudoir and weddings. The other day, I showed FI some examples of her boudoir, and he thought it was “weird” to have photos like that.
Now I don’t know what to do. I didn’t tell him I already booked yet. I think I may still do it. Partly because I have worked really hard to get in shape and tone my body and I am proud of the way I look and partly because I think he will enjoy them (hopefully).
But I have yet to decide what to do….
ETA: Maybe give it to him on your honeymoon or wedding night?
Post # 7
We’re not spending the night together before the wedding & he’s having his buddies come up and stay with him for about a week as a “bachlor gaming party week” so we’ll have no time alone. With all the family traveling OOT I don’t know when we’ll have a moment alone.
I like the idea of him getting a glimps of what I’m wearing under my dress before the wedding. I’m pretty bummed that it didn’t excite him at all.
I guess I could leave it on the bed for him-but all his groomsmen will be at our house. The same as the day of.
Post # 8
@MissFireFlower: If I were doing a boudoir session, I would mostly be doing it for myself. Keep the pictures and appreciate them! It’ll be nice to look at those 50 years from now and remember that you are hot stuff!
Post # 9
I had never heard of boudoir photos until one of my bridesmaids suggested it to me. I wasnt keen on the idea but I brought it up to DH (then FI) to see if he would like me to do it. He also thinks theyre weird and didnt like the idea. Some guys just arent into it.
Post # 10
@MissFireFlower: When I gave DH the boudoir album that I had made I pulled him aside during the rehearsal dinner while everyone else was eating. We took like 5-10 minutes to exchange our gifts to one another, and he was able to put it back in the box I put it in and take it home with him discreetly.
Post # 11
My husband felt the same way when I explained to him that boudoir photography was getting popular as a gift to grooms on wedding day. He doesn’t get it at all and wouldn’t want me parading in lingerie in front of a photographer. Luckily, I wasn’t interested in it either.
Post # 12
I agree with PP. Don’t give it to him on the actual day. It sounds like he might be kind of embarrassed about it with all the people around him. Why can’t you wrap it, and give it to him to open later when he’s alone? Yeah, he may suspect something, but at least he won’t have to get nervous with all the guys over and he will still be able to appreciate it.
Post # 13
I can tell you from a past experience that your man may NOT like this idea AT ALL!! I’ve known my FH since high school (1994 ouch!) and I thought while we were dating that he would like a “calendar” of myself for him to enjoy. Boy was I wrong! He didn’t tell me at the time but years later he told me that he didn’t really like that. He said he doesn’t like the idea of some “photograper” getting to take pics of me dressed like I was.
Think about it bees… Would we like our men being gawked at by some woman behind a lens. We think that because the media plays up women being “sex” objects that we need to become one for him to be pleased. Yeah, men look but they don’t want one of these for his “wife”.
My advice, don’t do it!
Post # 14
I’m getting some done by my photographer but my FI is excited about it. My photographer is a woman, so that helps. I can tell you he would NOT be thrilled about it if it was a man! I’m going to give them to him maybe the morning the day before (sometime while we’re still at home) so I don’t have to take them to the hotel or anything. Maybe give them to him a day or two before?
Honestly, I’m doing them more for myself than for him!
Post # 15
@chelle1011: Well, my photographer is a woman and I don’t think my FI is worried about me being gawked at. I think he just hadn’t really heard of the idea before and was unfamiliar with it.
Like I said in my previous post, I am thinking about doing it partially for myself. I see nothing wrong with being comfortable in your own body and being proud of it.
ETA: I also don’t see most boudoir representing woman solely as “sex objects.” Yes, they are intimate and sexy, but that doesn’t degrade our status as women.
Post # 16
@kes18: My photographer is an older grandma-looking lady. maybe if he knew that he’s be more OK with it.
What do you think of this ladies?:
I could leave it in a secret spot in our house and call him the night before and he can open it secretly. That way no one’s arround and it’s still a suprise! Also, i could include the photograher’s card (which has her picture on it) so he know’s it was a ‘she’ who took the pictures.
Do you think this might help some of my FI’s fears?