(Closed) You're NOT invited

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1306 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

There is no way I would ever do that. I al relieved I did not have to explain to anyone they were not invited, but even if I did, I surley would not send this to them. How rude!

If I received a card from an engaged couple, I would assume it was a save the date or invite. If I opened it to find that I would be very hurt.

Post # 4
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think it’s the equivalent of not inviting the nerd to your 12th birthday sleepover and rubbing it in. 

Post # 5
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

That is easily the tackiest, most repulsively rude thing I’ve heard of when it comes to wedding etiquette. The fact that this is even considered shows how socially retarded our generation is. We don’t even know how to say ‘no’ about our own weddings anymore! What’s next? ‘Here’s a fruit basket because I wouldn’t let you watch the birth of my new child’? 

Post # 6
Member
10454 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Ummmm. This can’t be serious, right? That’s one of the rudest and stupidest things I’ve ever heard.

Post # 7
Member
9552 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Could they possibly be mistaking wedding announcements??? I can’t seriously fathom sending something in the mail saying you aren’t invited.

Post # 8
Member
9057 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Well, that’s just unnecessary. 

Post # 9
Member
2254 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Very horrible. I wonder who comes up with this stuff?

Post # 11
Member
669 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Wasn’t there someone just last week on here asking if they should do this?

Post # 12
Member
847 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

@AmyFarrahFowler:  Yeah, I saw that article and wondered when somebody would mention it here. What kind of idiots do that? I mean, not inviting someone to your wedding is awkward, even if it’s because there isn’t enough space etc rather than because you don’t want them there. They know that they’re not important enough to you to be included in your special day, and you know they know it too. It’s the kind of thing that’s embarrassing for everyone involved and shouldn’t really be brought up unless absolutely necessary. 

You’d have to be a pretty big asshole to send a card about it. If a friend did this to me for whatever reason then I’d feel like it was a bit of a slap in the face. 

Do you think they make ‘actually, take that back’ cards for when people RSVP no so you have to invite people on your B list? Or maybe ‘make other plans’s for when would be guests get their save the dates? 

Post # 13
Member
1186 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

There was a thread on the Bee a few days ago by a bride wanting to do this.  She quickly realized it was inappropriate and thanked the Bees for setting her straight.  Pretty refreshing, eh?

Post # 14
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Seriously some people need to get over themselves. Most people have common sense and know they aren’t invited. I think it’s cruel to the friend and family members who want to be there, but I suspect a lot of people probably don’t give a crap

Post # 15
Member
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Holy crap on a stick this is a terrible idea. If I received one of these things, any feelings of hurt would be quickly replaced by disgust at its rudeness and tackiness. Ugh ugh ugh.

Post # 16
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Hi everyone, I’ve been wondering the best way to tell someone they are not invited, although I agree the item in the mail isn’t very tactful.  Long story short is I have an almost non existent relationship with my father, and have only started communication by emailing him in the last 8 months. I havent spoken to him on the phone at all, and we live in different countries so no face to face communication either. Over the holidays I got engaged, but I’m not sure our wedding is the time I want to risk reaching out to my dad. But, I also don’t want him to think he’s invited just because he’s my biological father.  Any advice would be appreciated, thanks.

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