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Not really, in my case. If anything I think people were surprised that I was able to handle so much at a young age. But I have a child, maybe people view parenthood differently than other stresses?
Wow, I have no idea why anyone would think that your life is easier because you're relatively young. At 25, in grad school full time and working the better part of full time, having just moved in with my fiance and looking at the next year, in which I will 1) graduate, 2) hopefully get my first professional job, and 3) get married, I have a lot on my plate. I guess the similarity would be that people sometimes really don't get that adjusting to living with FI and planning a wedding are sources of stress, no matter how positive they are! If someone told me I shouldn't have anything to stress about because I'm young, they would get an earful.
My family is always supportive and they know what I'm capable of. Its always outsiders who make these kinds of comments. And I think young mothers and mothers in general are viewed as having more stress and being able to handle more. Probably because in a lot of cases they are. My sister is one of them and they are superwomen in my eyes. I have a ton of respect for them. That's why I don't want any kids right now. I know my limits (usually) and I'm pretty sure right now mentally (and financially) its no where in the picture. I'm just tired of people thinking that being a student, working 30-40 hours a week, and being a wife shouldn't be that hard. It's not being with my husband thats the hard work.....its the "living" with him part haha (dishes, laundry, house cleaning, bills, errand running) Add the extra stress of being maybe 3-4 months away from being a college graduate and I'm ready to pull my hair out. And people seem to think my life is a cakewalk HA!
What people seem to forget when they are talking to them is scope of life, I remember what it was like to be twentyone, single parent, and working multiple jobs and my world seem to crumble when my car broke down or paying for the next semesters books. Now, my experiences and age have placed me in different life's "worsts". People often forget what it was like to be certain ages, just chalk it up to that. Their senility is not them putting you down, just them getting older and forgetting.
They probably mean more of its easier to deal with a lot of things when you're young and energetic, and honestly, it is. I was always in high speed at that age.
Well gosh, don't you know that you don't become an adult until you're 30!?
Yeah, I have a ton of energy....just not enough hours in a day haha Don't get me wrong, I love my life but sometimes I just want a pause button so I can get that extra 30 minutes of sleep or get a chance to proofread a paper one more time before I hand it in or MAYBE but an hour to actually see my husband and watch tv with him or something. Working opposite shifts as each other we're lucky if we get one meal a week together or if our conversations consist of more than "Did you send out the mortgage payment?" or "Can you pick up some ____ from the store on your way home, we're out"
My hardest times were when I was younger. I think life gets easier with age because we are more adept at dealing with it once we have more time under our belts. I remember people saying young people were happy, and how great it is to be young, and I thought they were nuts! My life gets better all the time as I am more settled, I think people forget how tough it is to make things work when you are young, and all the challenges you have to deal with.
I don't even think it's just wives, just younger people in general.
When I'm tired or out of it at work, people will say things like, "You're young... you should never be tired!" or "If I were as young as you, I certainly wouldn't be sleepy!"
UGH. Drives me mad.
@brideatbeach: It drives me batty when people tell me I'm young and shouldn't be tired as well. Didn't know age had anything to do with it. I mean, I'm sure it plays a role, but I don't always sleep great either. Never have.
Anyways, it's hard to this age and just starting out. It's such hard times in our economy, as we all know, and no one WANTS to take us seriously. I hate that you have to have 5+ years experience with some jobs, but there's no one who wants to help get you started. It doesn't make sense.
Who says you can't be tird when you're young? I'm constantly tired! :D
Honestly, I had a lot of that attitude, and get it from the future in-laws sometimes. They grew up in a time where there were jobs, and when you had an education you'd work in the field you majored in, etc. Sure, they might not all had the freedom we have, but at the same time, constantly trying to figure out the best thing to do is exhausting.
I talked to a friends mom yesterday, and she told me she feels sorry for the younger generation. She sees that a lot of what was taken for granted only few years ago, is now a luxury. I wish more people were like her :D
I also hate the fact that so many people assume that young people nowadays have everything handed to them. I would be a rich woman if I earned a dime for every time someone said to me, "That's what parents are for!" or "You'd better call Daddy for some money!" Even now that I am a professional working in a profession that requires a college degree, I get it all the time. My parents have never paid my rent or other bills. I find it offensive.
@brideatbeach: YES. This. "Young people are so spoiled because ____________." Fill in the blank. Okay. Yes. Our generation may in fact have a lot more things available to us, but that does not mean none of us know "the value of a dollar" or "what the meaning of hard work is." I always get grouchy over that type of talk. I graduated college in 3 years with Honors, most of said college was paid for in scholarships, I had a job less than a month after turning 16. GRR TO THOSE PEOPLE. Lol.
And to OP, I agree with what you're saying. If life doesn't get EASIER after your early twenties then wth? We are already having an easier time of it because we can comfortably pay bills (major stressor) and we have a home (major plus) and we're more comfortable in our relationships. I think a lot of older people think younger means less responsibility...and for some, sure. But I have the same bills older people have, minus the children. And not every older couple has children. I also probably still make less than a lot of them (due to age and profession). So I don't understand how in the heck life is easier when younger.
I do think it is being young in general and not being a young wife as being a wife doesn't (or shouldn't) mean you are taking on more work than before you are married.
I really think school must have been easier, or that good grades were simply not as expected. You need As and Bs to get a job and it is REALLY hard to keep that going even if you are smart. I hear a lot of "But you're so smart, why do you have to study?" Really, you can be as smart as you want but when you have hundreds of pages a week to read smart doesn't magically get you through that any faster or make prepping for a closed book test on 120 cases any easier.
I also hear a lot "But that job isn't HARD" Great, it's not hard, but it does take TIME.
@brideatbeach: Pffft. My mother hasn't given me a dime my entire life. My grandparents had to raise me and I would never, ever expect them to pay my way through life these days.
@brideatbeach: When I'm tired or out of it at work, people will say things like, "You're young... you should never be tired!" or "If I were as young as you, I certainly wouldn't be sleepy!"
This!!! I was working 2 jobs, about 70 hours a week not too long ago, and god forbid I yawned at work, the other girl I work with would start laying into me about how when she was my age she worked 2 jobs, then went out partying all night, and she was never tired. Well that's great for you, but I don't do methamphetamines. I actually get tired from working for 14-16 straight hours.
Honestly I have been more stressed these last 2 1/2 years then I have been my entire life, I am 23 years old. I have suffered through several aniexty attacks, depression and just plain stress, its been really tough. There has been so many changes in my life that I have had a really hard time adjusting to it all, including my parents moving away, moving out, selling my beloved horse, losing friends, going to school, trying to find jobs, now trying to plan a wedding with no help and just plain trying to survive life. Plus I am so worried about the future and making the right choices so that I can have a family and a good job and not be in debt and everything... it is so stressful.
The whole you need experiance to get a job but need a job to get experiance thing drives me crazy. FI is trying hard to get an apprenticeship as a plumber after taking the foundation program through college but nobody wants a 1st or 2nd year apprentice, they want journeyman so they don't have to teach them anything, so frustrating. He has put out hundreds of resumes without a single call back, nothing!, the economy sucks. Companies need to start being more willing to train people because they are going to run out of experianced people pretty quick when everyone starts retiring.
Amen, sister. My life is just about 100% the same as yours. Add two dogs to it that need to be taken out, fed, etc. Its not easy. Forget about having a life. We just have to keep to a mantra. Mine is "3 more semesters. Three. More. Then it will all be ok."
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If I hear this statement or one similar to it one more time I think I might scream. Are you serious!?! Yes, I got married young (21) but just because I'm this "young" doesn't mean I don't have adult responsibilities. I would love to have a career where I only have to work 9-5, Monday through Friday and I'm done. But no, I go to school for a few hours, go to work for even longer, come home and do dishes/laundry/housework AND homework. Finals week and a major holiday falling on the same week is pure insanity in my household. Going to school in the morning, working til 11pm and coming home and doing homework and housework then getting up and doing it all over again is enough to stress anyone out! Add being sick for the past 5 days to all of this and you get my life. Yes, this is the life I chose and I wouldn't have it any other way. But before you open your mouth and ask me why I'm stressed out when I have such an "easy" life please use your brain! Sure I don't have kids to worry about which seems to be the growing stressor in women my age but that is also I choice I've made. More power to those of you who hold all this down. Yeah, sometimes I wear the same jeans 2 days in a row. Or maybe theres a few more dishes in my sink than you'd like to see. But you know what...my husband is fed, has clean clothes, I have a 3.5 career GPA so far, and we have a roof over our heads (that we own) and we have each other and are happy. So yeah, my "easy" life is a little crazy sometimes but I get by.
Anyone else feel like people put extreme expectations on younger wives? Or that our "failures" are made out to be more than they are because of age?