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I really think its important to realize how special getting married is. And that its not about all of the fluff. This is the day that brings you and your future husband together as one. This is the day where all of your friends and family are here to support you. So live it up and celebrate! But do remmeber that it IS only ONE day. Spending thousands of dollars on a dress and tens of thousands of dollars on the reception are pointless!
Think about it. My sister got married in July, 2009 and she hasnt looked at her wedding dress since that day. In fact, it lies up in one of my mom's closets. Whats the point of spending a lot of money on a dress!? If you spend $5000 then you are spending $1000 per hour for that dress. 0_0
I read something not too long ago about how the wedding industry is trying to convince us brides that we need to spend more and more money to make our day special- that simply is not true!! If anything the importance of this day should be placed on what is important in life - faith, family, and fun. Whichever of these means most to you! You dont have to spend a lot of cash to have fun, thats for sure!
My fiance and I have a 150+ guest list and are trying to spend only 2,000. I even think that is pushing it at times. I want my friends and family to walk away from our wedding having the most fun dancing and eating that they have had in a LONG time! We have plenty of DIY arrangements.
All of our flowers will be bought from Walmar/publix/winn dixie the day before.
We know our caterer. We pull strings.
My dress was on clearance for $299.00.
I called around for the cheapest alterations person I could find- $60 to change my neckline and to do the bustle.
My wedding planner is a good friend who aspires to be a wedding planner.
We utilized ebay- my veil was $20!I also ordered paper lanterns from ebay for $2.00 each!
The groomsmen have 50's styled outfits brought together from numerous department stores (things they can keep and wear again!)
My shoes are from my own wardrobe.Think about it.
We are having an Italian themed wedding so we are having wine bottles to pose as vases. These we got for free from Olive Garden.
I know we will have a BEAUTIFUL wedding despite our small budget. And I thank my Fiance for being such a wonderful man that reminds me of how special our day will be- special enough to not have to spend bookas of money to make it grand. Its that simple.
The friends and familiy will bless you regardless of the money spent. The fun will be there regardless of your centerpieces.The love will be there regardless of the money spent.
If you guys have any questions or how to's then write me. I am more than happy to help!!
I respect your points, and agree that it's easy to get swept away in the planning. I have to respectfully disagree about some things - every bride and groom should prioritize what is important to them. For me, having a high quality dress is important. I have no need to keep it after the wedding, so I'll try to sell it, and I have no problem buying secondhand - but I have no qualms spending a bit extra to get what's perfect for me.
I think balance should be the ultimate goal. :)
That is awesome. I love the wine bottles as vases! What colors are you using? You have done an excellent job!!!! I would love to see some pictures of your wedding! Congrats & good luck! Hope you day is everything you have dreamed of.
I can see that being on a tight budget worked for you, but there are brides out there who want to spend more money on their wedding, and I think that's great too! I'm not here to judge anyone for how much they are spending on their wedding - I'm on a tight budget as well, but that doesn't mean that I feel the brides who are spending more are wasting money.
It's all a matter of personal resources and preferences! To each her own. :-)
The wine bottles as vases are SUCH a great idea! I'd love to see pictures of your wedding when it's all through - it sounds like it will be very personal and fun!!!
You joined this forum, just to post that? Not everyone knows someone in the wedding business so unfortunately we all arent as lucky as you.
I agree with most of your post, I'm also a budget and DIY bride, but I think the title of your post is a bit rude. Who are you to judge what amount is too much to spend on a wedding?
How much you choose to spend on your wedding is a personal choice that is made between the bride and groom (and any relatives if they are contributing). Often times the amount of money you choose to spend is relative to what you have. Spending more than you have isn't a good idea, but if you have the money, I don't see anything wrong with choosing to spend it on a wedding - and a great party for your family and friends.
It's great that you personally made a choice to only spend $2K, but please be open-minded and understand that everyone doesn't choose to have the same type of wedding as you.
Spending thousands of dollars on a dress and tens of thousands of dollars on the reception are pointless!
That is really harsh to say. I refuse feel bad that I don't have to watch every penny. But I don't rub it in other peoples face about how much I am or am not spending. Spending that money is not pointless to me. To me spending that money allows me to have the wedding I dreamed of as a little girl.
I would have to agree, Although I agree with a lot of the points....I think maybe you should have worded your title a little differently? Put it as this is my opinion type of deal? Otherwise you will be stepping on a lot of toes. Im also a small budget bride but I also respect others who have a big budget
Thanks for the sentiment, but I think it's a bit much to tell people whether they're spending too much on their wedding. I doubt you would appreciate someone telling you that you're spending too little. Try reading Miss Argyle's post, and maybe try to be more open-minded to brides of all budgets.
Well, why isn't $2k too much money? Why do you need 150+ people there? I'm sure they're not all people who are close to you or even will still be part of your life in a few years. Why do you need paper lanterns and a veil? Why don't you just go down to the courthouse? You'll still have the end result!
Or MAYBE there are some things that are important to you, even if they're luxuries and not necessities, and you're willing to spend some money on them. So how is it that those who are just doing the same thing, and aren't duplicating your wedding, but happen to be spending more money than you, are spending "too much"?
Wow, 2K is really amazing! I wish I could pull of a beautiful wedding with that budget.
Unfortunately, a lot of us brides don't know people who are caterers, nor can get free wine bottles from Olive Garden. We all have our different priorities and ideas as to what is important to us on our wedding day. I don't think it is pointless for a bride to spend thousands of dollars on her dress or her reception if that's what's really important for her and she can afford to spend that much. I think it's a bit harsh for you to say that some brides' priorities are pointless. I can tell you honestly that the amount that I'm gonna be spending for my photos and videos extend your entire wedding budget. I don't think that's pointless at all because having amazing (and professional) photos and videos is something that is non-negotiable for me.
Sometimes, it also depends on the city where you are having your wedding at. I just don't see how I could do a beutiful ceremony and a great reception with 2K in the city where I'm having my wedding.
With that said, good luck to you! :)
While you can justify either way, more or less, do what you want! You get one life so live it up! You can't take that money with you when you die so if you've got it, go for it. I don't think you should put yourself into debt and be depressed about having to pay off this event for many years to come... but come on. It's a once in a lifetime CELEBRATION!! CELEBRATE as you see fit! If you need to spend, spend. If you need to save, save. Simple as that.
There is a lot of room for opinions on Weddingbee, and I understand that some readers will find this post offensive. I would like to say that this is the OP's opinion, and you are all free to disagree with the opinion of the OP. HOWEVER, remember to keep your replies respectful and avoid personal attacks and snarkiness. The OP's post did not have any comments personally attacking any bride or group of brides. It is merely her opinion that most people are spending too much. Feel free to discuss it here, but remember to keep it civil!
I'm glad you and your FI were able to find a budget that worked well for you and that allowed you to have the wedding you wanted without making uncomfortable expenditures,
Having said that, weddings are not one-size-fits-all and what worked for you is not necessarily feasible for another bride for reasons that have nothing to do with her ability to make reasonable financial decisions.
It's condescending and judgmental to imply that people who have made choices that you wouldn't for reasons of which you are entirely ignorant are engaged in "pointless" spending or are insufficiently aware of the import of the day itself.
Your values are your own, and that's perfectly fine. You make a good case for being conscious and conscientious before pulling out the checkbook or credit card. Implying that those who ascribe to another set of priorities are somehow foolish isn't necessary for you to make that point, however.
@mightysapphire: thanks for the reminder. I might have been a little bit snarky in my post.
Sorry! :)
I agree with those that say we shouldn't judge brides who spend "too much" on their weddings. Everything is relative. To some, $2000 is an exorbitant amount of money! People in third world countries probably think spending that much on one day is insane. You can never judge your choices by any other standards than your own. If a bride feels comfortable with spending $200,000 on her wedding, I think we should be just as excited for her as we are for you having your $2,000 wedding, which sounds lovely btw!
I couldn't agree more with the original poster! I know a lot of you who may have dreamed of all the pretty things of your wedding but realistically paying the average $20,000 for a wedding is outrageous. I'm planning mine for under $5000. It's tough, but I don't care for taking out loans to solve my problems or pay for a wedding that is one day and can stretch for years to come! Personally, I want to marry my FI, not put us in the RED, especially since eventually I want to have a house and family. You never know what could happen to you tomorrow--medical emergency, loss of job, and having savings is important.
One suggestion is to allot yourself one nice dream purchase. The dream shouldn't be the event, it should be the marriage and time together after the ONE DAY EVENT!
But if you're affluent and can afford to spend thousands of dollars--enjoy it! However, consider how much you're spending for one day, maybe you'd like to put that towards something else you can flaunt 
Oh and I know $5000 gets further in certain states....just to put that out there!
however much you decide to spend on your wedding is entirely your (and your FI, parents or whoever is paying) decision. it really is your day and whatever makes you guys happy i think is just fine. doesn't matter if it's $2million or $2000.
When I first started planning my wedding, I felt a bit like this too. And sometimes when I think about other things we could be doing with all that money, it makes me cringe a bit. That said, I have learned so much in the course of my planning, I wouldn't trade the experience for the world.
Setting a budget with my FI and watching our money grow toward our mutual goal has been great and has brought us closer together and makes me excited about our next goal and the goal after that and after that. We have laid the groundwork for success in our marriage by setting and reaching our goals.
Friends are buying plane tickets and making plans. People who rarely get to see each other will be together at our wedding and I can't wait to have this experience with them.
I am closer to my mom because of the bonding we have done over DIY and the planning. That's priceless.
Yes, I could have all of these things without spending as much on my wedding, but you know, we set our budget and have made our plans and we LOVE the wedding we are going to have and the experience we are giving our friends and family.
Spend the amount of money that is right for you. To each his own.
@msgthoney: No worries! I saw this as a hot button topic, so I wanted to put it out there. I know a little reminder helps me now and then too!
My budget is around $5000. I, too, believe that the wedding industry has some of us a bit brainwashed into frivolous spending--just like the greeting card/candy/flower folks have us brainwashed into buying lots of things for Valentines Day! However, I look at some of my big-ticket wedding expenditures as investments not only in my wedding and captured memories but in the arts and my community.
We bought my e-ring (and will buy my wedding band) from an artisan jeweler on Etsy. She does great work and has wonderful artistic vision, and I am happy to spend several hundred dollars on wearable art.
Our ceremony will be held at a chapel on our university campus, and the fee goes to a fund to preserve the chapel and its original mission.
Our reception will be held at a local venue (in a lovely historic building) that hosts art exhibitions, dance gatherings, and other community events, and our rental fee will help to ensure that this space does not shut down during these tough economic times.
Our musicians will be local musicians, likely friends. Because they provide professional-level musical performances, we will pay them a professional rate, even though they are friends and we could ask them to play for free, as a wedding gift to us. Many people balk at the high price of musicians, but think about this: a violin alone can easily cost $20,000 (or much more), and these people likely practiced hours a day for years to achieve their level of expertise.
Likewise, we are happy to support a local photographer who focuses on portrait art. His work shows off his subjects' best features, and we believe that he brings happiness to his customers.
Also, since the majority of our guests will be coming from across the country (or even from out of the county), we feel that providing them with a meal that they couldn't easily make at home is important. They have put a lot of time, energy, and money into coming to support us, and we want to provide them with the best possible experience.
That said, my dress cost $187, we're incorporating as many DIY elements as possible, and we're trying not to buy into the consumerism too much!
I respect your decision to keep your wedding on a budget. But I agree with the other posters that you shouldn't judge other people for how they choose to spend their money. If you can afford an expensive wedding and would like one, why not?
And there's nothing wrong with spending money to support the wedding industry. The economy is down, and the retail and service sectors are hurting because people aren't spending as much money. Many people's jobs--photographers, florists, bakers, stationers, wedding coordinators, DJs--depend on people shelling out money for weddings. The people having big budget weddings are just helping the economy :)
I am gonna have to agree w/ the OP. Sorry gals just my little ole opinion. I think it is silly to spend so much on one day. MYSELF included.. I wish the wedding industry didn't pressure brides into this is "The MOST important Day of your LIFE" crap. But I am not judging any one who decides to spend more. I just wish it wasn't like that and that the wedding day isn't brought down to how much you spent OR saved. But of how you are bringing two lives together to make a new family.
come on guys!
this poster is probably a vendor, about to come out with a book or blog. that is why she has such a controversial title and is encouraging people to inbox her.
if you have it to spend and think its worth it, no probs. i spent more than 2k on my gown. so what. to each their own. im sure her book will have lots of interesting ways to save money...
I do agree that people tend to get overly extravagant for weddings. Many of them simply cannot accept the fact that they simply cannot afford the type of wedding they envision and go into debt for years over it (I have family and friends who spent close to $30,000 on their weddings and are still paying them off! Now they have major regrets!) But let's face it.. many of us live in a country that is based entirely on debt and the idea of debt and spending beyond your means is acceptable and expected.
I cannot even pull off a budget of $2,000 on the 40 guests we will be having at our wedding. And I simply have to accept the fact that weddings are an expense. I want to have one and therefore there are certain things then that I must pay for. I am fairly frugal--and while it is hard for me to fathom spending the equivalent of my entire student loans on one day--I accept this is a once in a lifetime event. Rather than trying to get off making this day as cheap as possible--I want to focus on stretching my money as far as I can.
I am having my wedding at a B&B over the weekend--so rather than one night the party can last for the entire weekend since we have the entire house to ourselves (this justifies the expense for the venue).
I am only inviting 40--just close family and friends
My e-ring and wedding band are small & simple and under $1000 combined.
My dres was $350. I am spending even less on flowers.
It's pointless to go to a fancy french restaurant instead of McDonalds or cooking for yourself!
It's pointless to live in a clean pretty apartment with lovely windows and light and a nice kitchen in a convenient location instead of a tiny cramped place!
It's pointless to have a new or two year car when the ten year old runs!
Um, what the hell is the money for?
Should you save it to be buried with it?
Some people don't have any extra money - but you realize that some people do right? And some people get a lot of enjoyment out of french food?
There are pluses to budget weddings and pluses to platinum weddings and pluses to mid range weddings. And minuses. It's okay, really.
Oh lord. Not another budget debate, please. :(
Haha Lilyfaith I did just make a cake an hour ago, want some? I bet you're still eating your tiered cake though...
@LaborofLove - Um, R devoured it! No cake left here. He has a sweet tooth. :)
WOW! He's impressive!
And my cake budget = free stuff my parents had in the kitchen since i'm visiting, so I was saving money (you know, to try to get back on topic here).
Our world is full of silly things to spend money on -- cars, vacations, homes, clothes, weddings, babies, etc. It's what capitalism is all about :)
There's no winner when you judge "everyone" and their spending habits. Some people spend money they don't have (or money their families don't have) -- which isn't a good idea no matter WHAT they are buying. I think we can universally agree on that. But other than that, everyone has their priorities. One person wants to eat out every night for dinner, the other girl wants a $5000 dress, and yet another girl leases a Land Rover. Each person's budget to their own :)
Haha, I know, right? Needless to say, he's at the gym now.
Okay, so back on track: cake budget = frugal = yay for saving money! (even though I'm not a budget bride by a lot of standards, but I think we're really mostly in agreement on this thread, unlike the other one.)
this is a pretty silly post - i'm just surprised she hasn't defended herself. whatever. i know we're going to spend more than we want but we're also older (mid 30's) and both established so if we want to splurge, so be it! it's definately everyone's own personal choice. there's one thing to be thrifty and frugal and diy and then there's just being plain cheap. oh and because i am obsessed with google i googled her name and it's a person. a girl. she also's spreading her gospel on some other wedding site. again...whatever.
My questions is how does OP have 4 posts when this is the only thing they have contributed? This whole thing seems sketch.
@jordyn - I saw she posted basically the same thing in response to another thread earlier today, not sure why it's not showing up now .
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