Post # 1
Do you ever think it could be any day now and then your SO says something that makes you realize “Holy crap. He’s not even close to making it happen!”
Happened to me yesterday. I’ve been kinda bummed about it. It has been a year since the first time we started talking seriously about looking at rings.
Some days I’m happy to wait. But some days it just feels so … overdue. It starts to feel silly to say “my boyfriend”, when he doesn’t feel like just a boyfriend.
Post # 3
I know exactly how you feel. My boyfriend/fiance and I are so committed to each other that it just doesn’t feel like he’s my boyfriend. I mean he is my fiance but only in secret for now. I find myself getting impatient but I have to cherish our time together for now. It’s getting harder since a lot of friends are getting married and engaged lately.
Post # 4
Take some time out from thinking about it and take time for yourself. Go to the gym, go out with friends, start a new hobby. Perhaps he will get the hint at how fabulous you are and you won’t stay around forever – or he might think something’s up, and he’ll hurry up! 😉
Post # 5
Yeah, its been a little over a year since I started officially waiting, thankfully he finally bought a ring..but what helps is just putting your focus on other things…ive been really into focusing on my new passion for a religion Ive recently joined, and when Ive felt sad in the past waiting, Ive just turned off weddingbee…and googled something about that instead. It helps to have your focus on something else
Post # 6
Oh yeah, I definitely had my share of “yuck” waiting days. Before we became officially engaged, I went through periods of yuck and then periods of not being worried about it at all. Funny how that works!
Good luck, it’ll get better. I definitely recommend the pp’s idea of pursuing a hobby, spending time with friends, etc. When I was busiest is when I worried less.
Post # 7
@MissRuthie: I’m right there with you!
I’m sorry that you are dealing with this. But you are not alone!
Unsolicited by me…SO has brought up us getting engaged 2x in the past year. And he’s let me know that it’s bascially 1-2 years away. WHAT?!?! This is NOT what we discussed last year?!!?
Oh well. Delays happen, but after you get over the initial shock…you realize what is important is that you have a man on the same page as you, and that the two of you ARE working towards marriage. Hang in there! Life happens when it’s supposed to!!
PS-Have you figured out if you two are having a wedding and if so, how you are going to pay for it? Waiting has been MUCH easier on me once I opened a wedding savings account…realizing how slow moving it is to save for a wedding, made me appreciate how slow moving it is for my man to save for a ring. Good Luck!
Post # 8
@veryberry13: that’s a genius idea of the wedding account! Do you get some of it direct deposited? Or do you do it every time you get a paycheck?
Post # 9
@chic_and_fabulous: I opened up a seperate checking account actually, which I prefered because I can set automatic transfers from my bank without penalty, and I don’t need a minimum amount in there and it’s free haha. Then I can control what goes in the accounts without a set amount going to different accounts every paycheck.
I pay all my bills, then with my disposable income, before I have fun/go shopping/go out to eat, I take that $ amount and I multply that by 20% (or disposable income x .20) and put that in emergency savings, then I subtract that from the disposable income amount and take that amount and * by 10% (or disposable income x .10) ETA This is what goes into my wedding account! (I hope this makes sense I’m not awesome at math and I’ve had 2 glasses of wine haha). As I’ve realized the wedding I want to have is going to cost $$ I see no problems with starting the savings now. Anyway….This works for me because my 2nd paycheck is lower than my first paycheck every month because I have $ automatically deducted pretax and put into a med savings account.
If this sounds complicated it’s because I have a BAD shopping habit that I’ve come along way in curbing…but I have to find some way to hide my money from myself or I’ll spend it all on shoes. Sad but true
Anyway….The savings account has helped a lot in seeing just how slow moving savings can be, and I have to assume it’s this slow for my SO. I wanted to surprise my SO with the details of my wedding account once he proposed…but I got excited and tipsy on wine on one of our last dates and spilled the beans. And you know what? Positive reaction. We had a conversation about how my SO planned to help pay for the wedding too, and asked if my parents were going to help (they will some but I’m not sure if I want their help that’s a story for another post) and I think it makes my SO see that I am committed to us working as a team.
Sorry so long!!!
Post # 10
@MissRuthie: oh I am so with you on this one. I made a post about him deciding to put ring shopping ” on hold” and it broke my heart. I was so excited now it’s like back to square one. Hang in there. It’s important to know that you love him and it’s mutual. It will happen if you both love each other, unfortunately time can be tricky *hugs* At least you know you’re not alone with these waiting issues, if it helps any hehe