(Closed) “upgraded” and too nervous to show friends and family – should i return it?

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
6741 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Anna48:  I would just say that my Darling Husband is such an amazingly understandable man and that’s why I married him – because he understands that I change my mind and still loves me and wants me to be happy and thinks that I deserve to be able to always look at my ring and love it more and more each day and that while it took me some time to find that ring, he is so patient with all my changes.  Besides, it’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind, isn’t it?  😉

Don’t feel bad.  You sound like you just rushed things and your Darling Husband is a wonderful, understanding and patient man.

You could just always say it’s an upgrade “just because” your Darling Husband loves you so damn much. 

Post # 4
6741 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Oh, also… POST A PIC!!

Post # 5
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Anna48:  Honestly, I don’t think there’s any reason to feel guilty! Your feelings are completely understandable. I agree with PP and I don’t think it’s anyone’s place to judge that. It’s between you and Darling Husband. Good luck!

Post # 6
2734 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I completely understand you!! I picked out an e-ring quite quickly too, without getting educated. I wanted to change it one year later because of a few reasons: the smoky quartz was getting scratched, the shank was way too skinny for my hands, the large stone kept getting loose in the four prongs, etc. I changed it to a sturdy double round halo setting and loooooove it so much!! I kept the smoky quartz as a RHR 🙂 My fiance understood and when I explained to all friends and family who noticed quickly, I emphasized the function of the new ring. I said it was much more appropriate as an everyday ring. 

Then…the wedding band I had purchased to go with the original e-ring wasn’t quite a great match for the new e-ring. A few months after getting married, I decided  to talk about it with my husband. He was actually understanding. Again, it was a matter of function (eternity bands get damaged on the bottom) and the band was too chunky for my elegant e-ring. I am now in the process of having a contour band custom-made, as long as I pay for it myself. I’m glad to do so!! 

So please keep your “dream ring” and just explain anything you want to people. They won’t care for long anyway and you’ll be the one so happy everytime you look at it 😉

Post # 7
4286 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

I would not worry about them at all!!  Just tell them the truth, if they even notice.  Your Darling Husband is happy to make you happy and he is fine with it, and this one is more you.  🙂

Post # 8
533 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I recently upgraded my ring too (I had a very similar story to yours, OP) and I have wondered this myself. My conclucsion: I doubt anyone will notice. Yeah, our female friends and relatives probably looked at our original ring, but would they remember it exactly? If they did happen to comment on it, saying, “Unfortunately my original engagement needed to be replaced,” should be short and simple.

I am curious what other peoples responses are to this!

Post # 9
4657 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Don’t feel bad at all! feel priveledged and proud!

If you are happy with your new ring and your husband is happy, then that’s all there is to it. 

If people ask, you could say it was something he surprised you with. you don’t have to say “upgrade”. Just a change of setting since it sounds like that’s all it really is anyway. 🙂

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