1.5 months til wedding…already thinking divorce

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 166
Member
4910 posts
Honey bee

Please at the bare minimum get a pre nup. Good luck and I hope you two are happy! 

Post # 167
Member
13590 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

bridesmaidnomore44 :  “He is considering leaving this job in the near future to persue a higher paying job after he’s earned more certifications through this job.”

No.  Do not let him do that.  You can’t quit a job to look for another.  It’s significantly harder to find a new job while you’re jobless.  He can look while he’s employed, but quitting to look is just another awful decision in this saga.

Post # 168
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee

It’s never too late. He sounds demanding and married or not it’s not your respinsibility to pay back his debts especially if he lied about them.

Post # 169
Hostess
3831 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

JiminyCricket :  This.  OP, I completely get wanting to compromise and work things out, and I understand how hard it would be to walk away from a long term relationship (DH and I have been together 10 years), but I still think you’re making a huge mistake here.  I’m starting to warm up to PP suggestions of having the wedding but not getting legally married so you’re not tied to his debt.

Post # 170
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee

missinthecity :  I don’t know where the OP lives or what sort of student loans her Fiance took, but my understanding is that a person is generally not liable for their spouse’s student loan debt. (I did some research on this myself, as I have student loans from grad school 😉 ). Not sure if that would calm PP’s worries…

Is My Spouse Responsible for My Debt?

Post # 171
Hostess
3831 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

runnergal :  I’m not sure about OP’s state either, but I know my friend was advised to get a post-nup to protect her from her spouse’s student loan debt.  It’s not something I would blindly marry into, so if I was OP I would at least consult with an attorney to make sure.

Post # 172
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee

missinthecity :  Yeah, agreed, def not something to just blindly go into! 

My comment was more directed at everyone reading the thread (not to dispute you)… and just to note that it seems like student loan debt is treated differently than other sorts of debt. 

Post # 173
Member
751 posts
Busy bee

If I was a guest for you wedding I wouldn’t care what I had already purchased in preparation for it, if you need to back out, then back out! A girl I knew years ago canceled a wedding after most all the preparations where made so they had a family reunion instead. Anyone that cares about you should support you in wanting to keep from making a mistake. If for some reason you wanted to give the relationship more time, though I wouldn’t, that would be one thing. But please don’t marry him with all these doubts and complications.

edit: I just saw that your wedding would have happened last month. Care to update? I do hope you worked it out. No matter what I think, I would love to hear how you are doing.

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