Post # 1
My Brother in-laws Girlfriend recently invited me to be her +1 to her friend’s wedding in May. For a second I thought it was a little strange to be going with another female friend to a wedding, but she has lots of friends going whom i’ve met a couple times and she doesn’t want to go by herself.. and I love weddings, so I agreed to go.
A little background.. My brother in-law is currently stationed out of state and won’t be home to attend the wedding with his Girlfriend (who lives near me in NJ). The bride said it was ok if she invited me as her +1.
I have met the bride once before and she is a very sweet person. My question is… what do I get them for a wedding gift?
Seeing as I’ve only met the bride once and never met the groom, I don’t want to go overboard.. but I thought giving just a card might not be enough? I’m sure my BIL’s Girlfriend will be giving a generous gift.. so do I offer to chip in with her? And sign the card from both of us?? That seems a little weird..
Post # 3
Chip on or get something from the registry
Post # 4
But if I chip in.. do I sign the same card as my friend? Or get them a seperate card?
Post # 5
Personally, I think your friend as the “primary” guest should give a gift on behalf of both of you, with one card. I think that’s the most common way this situation would be handled.
If she’s not down with doing that, I would buy something in a modest price range off the registry, or a gift card.
I definitely would give a gift, not just a card.
Post # 6
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
@kimm99: +1 about the primary guest comment.
Post # 7
I don’t think you have any obligation to give her a separate gift than watever your friend is getting. Just sign the card with your friend and offer to chip in on whatever gift she got her, but don’t get her anything separate. If I’m invited to a wedding and I bring my SO as my plus 1, he’s sure as hell not going to get them anything from just him. I don’t see why it would be any different for a +1 that isn’t an SO.
Post # 8
Is the couple ok with her substituting you for your Brother-in-law?
Many couples would be upset at a “plus one” being someone they have only met once and who is not the SO of the person originally invited.
If they are ok with the substitution and you are comfortable in that situation, I suggest you purchase a gift jointly with your friend, or purchase your own.
Post # 9
I would probably give a card with either a $25 or $50 check or cash – depending on how close the acquaintance.
Post # 10
@CactusFlower: I’m also thinking that the g/f may want to give a gift from her b/f and her even though the b/f cannot attend. It is best to talk to her about it. Whatever you do you should give something. But I really don’t think it matters all that much either way so just talk to your friend and see what she’d prefer.
Post # 11
@julies1949 -Yes.. as I said in my post, the bride knows, & said it was ok if she invited me as her +1. Thank you for the suggestions!
@Atalanta -I think you’re right.. I should talk to her about it. She may want to gift something from the two of them. And I may purchase something reasonably priced from the registry as others have suggested.
Post # 12
I would talk to the girlfriend and see what she wants to do about the gift situation. I think that since you’re coming as her guest, she should cover the gift for the both of you, but if that doesn’t happen, I would give a gift of your own.
Post # 13
@kimm99: +1. My thoughts exactly.