(Closed) +1 frustration [vent]

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee

That is so rude of this person!  Sorry to hear this….

Post # 4
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Can you nicely tell him that you’re sorry but you simply don’t have room for him to have a plus one?

Post # 6
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2011

omg, that is SO annoying.  I had a ‘friend’ who INISISTED on bringing a plus one [and then neither one showed up]

Post # 8
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

You should’ve just told him that you weren’t doing +1s for unmarried/committed people.

Post # 9
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@thehoneybear: we had some people call us off guard and ask to bring a date even though we didn’t give them a plus one… we didn’t give people a +1 unless they were seriously dating, living, or married to someone. We didn’t invite children either (unless they were immediate family). Our venue had space capacity issues so that was our solution.

But then we ended up letting those that called asking to bring someone bring a guest because I didn’t know how to tell them ‘no’ without creating waves.

People just don’t get it. I’m convinced they’ll get it when the shoe is on the other foot.

 

Post # 10
Member
1699 posts
Bumble bee

I agree, that for a young man to think he cannot go to a social event without bringing along an escort to ensure he is suitably entertained, shows an odd lack of social sophistication. But it is one with a general trend among modern folk. Whether married, engaged, or just boyfriend-girlfriend, how many couples represented here on this board can contemplate the idea (which is a norm of traditional formal etiquette) that  they should as much as *sit* at table for a couple of courses, with a dinner partner other than the person they came with?

I am a single. I have no problem making conversation for an hour or two with new acquaintances or with long-time casual friends. It’s an art-form, and I enjoy it. But in any art form, one is limitted by the media available. Sit me down as the odd number at a table full of couples, who have limited experience talking with anyone but their partner, who are feeling shy or tired or awed and turn inward to one another, answering conversational gambits with one-word responses before turning back to their partner, and even I start to wish I’d hired an escort for the evening. At least a pro has to make an effort to seem interested!

Just promise your guest that he won’t be the only single at the table, and won’t be stuck at the “loser’s table” with all the other  undesirables who couldn’t land a fiancee. Based on experience, that may well be what he’s expecting. The idea of sitting with a selection of interested, interesting, attractive people; instead of having to dance attendance on some fish-out-of-water girl of the week, ought to appeal to any uncommitted bachelor.

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