(Closed) 1 Little 2 Little 3 Little Bridesmaid

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
228 posts
Helper bee

I think this is a pretty common dilemma for choosing wedding party members.  Are any of the grils relatives?  You could limit it to siblings or something- friends couldn’t really be offended that family comes before friends.  Choosing between friends is tricky at best, and there are bound to be some hurt feelings.  Maybe have some as bridesmaids and some as readers?

Or just go without- that’s what we did.  Less drama =P

Post # 4
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

If you already have 7 BMs, it should be fairly easy to find 3 ways for the others to be honored – either doing readings or being invited to participate in all the Bridesmaid or Best Man activities (getting ready, shower, bachelorette – whatever you’re having) without being official bridesmaids.  That way, you can still include everyone without a huge bridal party.

Whatever distinction you make, try to communicate clearly that they are all important to you and you’d love to have them participate in the day (either as a Bridesmaid or Best Man, doing a reading, or just being a planning buddy or getting ready). 


Post # 6
297 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

You could even have one of them do a toast, so it would still be really personal! Or the most organized to help be one of the coordinators of the day.

Post # 7
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I have four bm’s, all whom were must haves.  My fh has two sisters and I have one brother, we didn’t want to hurt their feelings, but there was just no way we were going to have a wedding party that big, so we gave them other things to do instead.  My brother is an Usher and will be renting a tux that is a little different from the groomsmen (different colored tie, but complementary) and my fsil’s are in charge of the guest book and gift table, they will be wearing dresses the same color as my brothers tie.  I also got each of them matching corsages and my brother a boutineer (sp).   I asked them if they wanted to do readings, but they all said no due to stage fright.


Post # 8
278 posts
Helper bee

Did you already mention to them previously that they were going to be your bms?  It’s a tough situation, especially when you have a large group of gfs that you are close to.  I have been on the other side of the picture before.  The bride chose me as a bm but not another friend that was just as close.  I say, select the few that are closest to you or have known you the longest with family as priority.  You can do other fun things to include your other gfs to be a part of your wedding without making them bms.  This way, it can be fun for everyone!

Let your bms know to include these girls in their planning and events and I think they’ll appreciate that they were able to be a big part of your big day, whether they are a bm or not.  (Shower, b-party, trying on your wedding dress, bonding events, etc.) You can also give them a small appreciation gift at the end, for helping out and stuff. 

I’m sure they’ll understand!


Post # 10
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2007

I’d have had 7 or 8 if I had to have all my closests girls, and I’ve always felt that even 3 was pushing it, so my solution was to have just one of my cousins.  we’re closest in age, and it’s well known in the family that we’re extra close, so it doesn’t snub other family, and doesn’t snub any friends.  Don’t worry, your girlfriends will still want to do fun pre-wedding stuff with you even if they aren’t official bridal party.

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