Post # 1
Long story short I moved overseas got engaged now and I am getting married in a months time.
I thought having the wedding in my new country (Ishave been hear 2 years now) would be a great opportunity to get my family to see where I live as they never came to visit.
My mum instantly said no, my sister and dad said yes and so did a friend. However my sister dropped out saying she didn’t want to comebecause of her bf (I said he could come but it was just a way out) and then my “friend” decided it was too expensive and has booked another holiday somewhere else. Mind you she never even said no to comming, just totally ignored I invited her. I understand it’s expensive and a kind no sorry is fine.
My fiancée is having all his family and friends, having a bucks night and I feel so alone.
I mean a wedding is to celebrate with family and friends right? I only have my dad. And people keep asking how many people are coming from my side and then when I say only 1 they ask why and I feel so embarrassed saying my mumdoesn’t wanleave fly, my sister is jealous and so is my “friend”.
What makes it worse is I told everyone 1 year inadvance. And if people gad moneyissuers we would try to pay for them or anything! But I don’t hear from anyone how the planing is going or anything.
I told my mum how I feel and she just said, what about people who have no family, they don’t have anyone at there wedding too. Well that’s really going to make me feel better. So practically I don’t have a family.
Ny words of encouragement?
I really don’t want a wedding anymore. I feel so embarrassed, I will be sitting aweeds wedding still having to explain why no one is here. And itguests so much knowing no one cares. Even a simple speech from someone written down to read on the day even if there not there.
And then I fight with my fiancée because I’m writing all these guests names and I know none of them. And now it’s too late to call off all his family to make it smaller so I don’t feel like I’m missing so much.
Post # 3
My fiance is from overseas. His only family that is traveling is doing so mostly at our expense. There are many in his family that will not be able to travel because they can’t afford it. He is not having a stag do. This is just what happens when people live so far apart.
You must learn to deal with the reality of things— that for most people, an International flight is too much of a burden.
Surround yourself with as many friends as you can in your current city-== not just for te wedding but for every day. If you don’t have any friends then try to put yourself in a situation to make some friends.
Don’t bother giving people an explanation. If asked why so-and-so is not here, a simple “they were unfortunately unable to make the trip” is all that is needed. It really doesn’t matter if mom won’t fly or someone is jealous or honestly if someone got turned into a frog, all that matters is “they couldn’t make the trip.”
If the closeness with your friends and family from home is important to you then consider doing a big reception bash or a big one-year anniversary party in your home country. You could even have your hen night then if you wanted.
Post # 4
It stinks they didnt tell you about their issues earlier, but at this point dwelling on it is not going to help. Try not to worry about what your fiance’s guests think. By your own admission you dont even know most of them and you shouldn’t have to “explain” to them why certain people are there or not. Remember they are there to celebrate with you and your fiance! Take this as an opportunity to get to know them. And if they are the type of people who are going to be pestering you about where your family and friends are, then they clearly have no manners!
Your wedding will still be beautiful and a wonderful celebration because you are marrying the man you love.
Have you gone back to visit your family since you have moved? Maybe you guys can plan a one-year anniversary party there so that you can celebrate your marriage with the rest of your family? Just throwing it out there. Not the same as having them come to you but it would give you a chance to be with everyone you love.
Post # 5
I can understand how difficult that must be. You are right you want to be surrounded by your loved ones on one of the most important days of your life. It’s hard because they live so far away but unfortunately that’s what happens when you live in another country. Are you close with your inlaws or have you made some friends since being there? You won’t be alone, you will have the love of your life right by your side. Remember it’s about the two of you and I’m sure it will still be a magical day. Not to mention your wonderful dad will be there to give you away!
Post # 6
I am so sorry. My heart breaks for you. You know, my family is quite similar in fact. And they live 1500 miles away, a 3 hour plane ride. I opted to elope or just invite the parents to witness the vows.
Your day will still be gorgeous and you will have support around you!