Post # 1
I am getting ready to send out our Save The Dates…. on the envelope should I write Mr or Ms Person and Guest? So that they know they can invite someone?? Or do I just put the name of our friend and just leave it at that. We are from MA and will be married in SC so I would like to give people the chance to plan ahead, but I am not sure what etiquette dictates.
Thanks In Advance!!
Post # 3
I have read that technically, you aren’t supposed to write “and guest” on the STDs. That is for the invitation only.
However, I don’t see a problem with it, especially in a situation like yours.
Post # 4
Maybe you aren’t “technically” supposed to, but I still did include “and guest” when I wasn’t able to pin down the exact guest’s name. I preferred to break the rules a bit in order to make things easier on my guests so they wouldn’t have to wonder whether they got a guest or not.
Post # 5
I think that leaving out “and guest” on the save the dates is because they are sent out months in advance and you may not be sure if you can financially accommodate each guest bringing an extra guest. Leaving it off ensures you aren’t promising something you may not be able to carry out.
That said, if you know all those details already, there is no harm in addressing them as such!
Post # 6
I wrote “and guest” on my STDs for those that were getting a +1 or if I didn’t know the name of their SO (which I will find out for the invites). I wasn’t going to, but my Bridesmaid or Best Man pointed out that people will want to know if they can bring a guest so they can plan accordingly. This was mostly for out of town guests who would need to buy plane tickets, make hotel arrangements, etc. and would want to do so several months before the wedding and before invites gone out.
Post # 7
I think “and guest” is only for invitations. I’m having a semi-destination wedding too and I only wrote the name of the person I know on the STD. However, with un-married couples, I wrote John Smith and Jane Doe.
If someone really wants to know if their BF who doesn’t live with them can come, they can ask.
Post # 8
We’re sending and addressing the STDs to the person we’re directly inviting and not their guest. Unless the couple is living together, in which case both people will be addressed. If not, then they’re only addressed directly to the person we’re directly friends with. The +1 is for the RSVP within the invitation.
Post # 9
I agree. Couples could break up before your wedding arrives. No need to put “and guest” on until the wedding invitations are sent out. Plus if you are cramped for space you can simply eliminate the guests and you won’t look bad since you never gave it to them in the first place!
Post # 10
i had 2 lines on my rsvp card for names.
Post # 11
STDs are meant only for those people that you absolutely cannot get married without. Those that are most important to you.
That said, if you don’t know their name I can’t imagine you care one way or the other if they are there. So no I would not put +1.
(Tehcnically, you never put and guest or plus one, and address each person by name).
Post # 12
Hmmm.. Since it really seems it can go either way, I think we are going to put “and Guest” on the very few people who we are allowing to bring a +1. They are mostly either in the wedding party or very close friends who are traveling a long distance (cross country). We aren’t inviting people we can’t account for in the first place. Even if some people don’t come. When it gets closer to the wedding and we are sending out real invites we will find out who those people are with and put their names on the invite. People have already asked about flights, I suppose they should know how many tickets they need to buy and/or save up for. I would hate to have someone buy a ticket and not get invited to the wedding. I would feel bad.
Thanks for your help!!
Post # 13
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
I put +1’s on the invites too so that those people would know they could bring someone (and to make it clear to those who didn’t get a +1).
Post # 14
Oh definately. I am thinking by the time I send the invites, I will have the actual names of the +1’s. I don’t want the 2 groomsmen (1 in particular) committing to a specific person now (who he is dating, but from what I hear won’t be much longer). I want them to bring someone, especially since they are in the Wedding Party, and he is welcome to bring her if they work out.. I just want them to know they can bring SOMEONE, even just a friend if they wish.
Post # 15
We didn’t write “and Guest” on the STDs. Just the invitations.