(Closed) +1 (or not) Poll

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would You Go? (Multiple Choice)
    Me-Yes : (13 votes)
    16 %
    Me-No : (29 votes)
    35 %
    SO/Fi/H Yes : (8 votes)
    10 %
    SO/Fi/H No : (30 votes)
    36 %
    other : (3 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    6394 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    It would depend 100% on who else I knew at the wedding. I’m far from being a social butterfly, so if I didn’t know anyone but the bride/groom, I wouldn’t go alone, even if I had to fake a major illness. Fiance would probably go without a thought, he’s more gregarious than I am.

    Post # 4
    Member
    202 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    Now that we’re engaged I would be very offended if my Fiance wasn’t invited. I think the only situation that makes sense that he wouldn’t be invited is if it was a very small wedding where only immediate family was invited.

    Post # 5
    Member
    5784 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I wouldn’t go, we’re engaged and live together I expect to be invited together.

    Post # 6
    Member
    541 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I’d go. There are plenty of things in life that my significant other will not be invited too or can’t make it too even if they were invited. Would I think it was a bit rude, yeah maybe, but quite honestly, we have people coming that are married, have been married for 10+ years, that my fiance has known the groom for 30 years and never met the bride. She never comes to anything and now that it’s a wedding and on new years, she wants to come. We are not attached at the hip. Somethings we are invited to he wouldn’t even want to go to. It’s no different to me.

    Post # 7
    Member
    5784 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2011

    There is a difference between what the poll is asking and being invited together and choosing to attend alone. I have attended weddings alone by choice, but my Fiance was welcome to come as well.

    Post # 9
    Member
    5388 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    Unless the invitation was addressed before we were engaged I wouldn’t go. However, FH and I were together for over 6 years when he proposed and was already seen as part of the family, so I probably would’ve been offended if he wasn’t invited.

    Post # 10
    Member
    10288 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    It really depends on the situation but now that we’re engaged, I would find it extremely tacky to not invite both of us. Before we were engaged, I was invited to my co-workers wedding without a plus one. This kind of angered me since we had been together for YEARS longer than her and her husband and we were living together. The only reason I went to this wedding solo was because my whole department was there so I had people to hang out with. Any other situation would have probably been a “no”. Fiance on the other hand, would never attend a wedding without me.

    Post # 11
    Member
    13099 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    No – neither of us would attend.  We are married and we are a social unit.  You invite one of us to a wedding, then you invite both or we’re not coming.  It’s just rude.  I’d have thought the same thing when we were engaged.

    Dating long-term/serious relationship though, I’d maybe be a bit peeved but I’d understand that you have to draw the line somewhere.  But engaged/married there is just no excuse (besides rudeness) to not invite both.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2280 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    It depends on the couple getting married of course, but yes, I’d probably go. I would just be slightly baffled as to why my (future) husband wasn’t invited too. I can totally understand why couples don’t invite +1s for people who are just dating (even with serious/cohab couples–it’s more polite to invite the partner, yet still not necessary), but if you’re married, you’re a social unit. You can’t cut the unit in half to save a seat.

    As for my fiance, he’d probably say about the same thing–depends on the couple and their reasoning for not inviting me.

    Post # 13
    Member
    7695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    If one of us wasnt invited to a wedding the other one wouldnt go. Im sorry thats just rude!! However I might go to a wedding (say of a coworker) without Darling Husband if it didnt really make sense for him to go.

    Post # 14
    Member
    11325 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    Nope. If he was invited and wouldn’t go thats one thing, but I can’t think of an acceptable reason not to invite my Fiance, who I live with and own a home with. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    541 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    The circumstance in which I am referring to in which I would go is a family wedding. I have a huge family. My parents have 20 siblings between the two of them, all of which are married. In instances like that, I can understand how the family could get invited sans spouses. The etiquette police may say otherwise, but I live in a time of practicility.

    If it was just a typical wedding and the couple knew I was married and didn’t care, I think that’s a different situation.

    Just my two cents.

    Post # 16
    Member
    4137 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    i would not go. couples who are married, engaged, or living together are a social unit. if you can’t afford to invite both, don’t invite them.

    The topic ‘+1 (or not) Poll’ is closed to new replies.

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