(Closed) +1 requests, is this bitchy?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 32
11265 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

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@CakeyP:  +1

Post # 33
2211 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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@Toeternityandbeyond:  I built +1s into our budget/guest list when I started planning.

Post # 35
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think your E-mail sounds very clear, but very polite and well-approached.  When people just start adding others, it puts you as the couple in a sticky situation, especially when multiple people are doing it.  It is your event, and after all that planning, you deserve to have it just the way you want it! 🙂

Post # 36
3339 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

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@Toeternityandbeyond:  I originally didn’t want to give plus ones to anybody because I didn’t want strangers at my wedding and I didn’t want to have to pay for them.  In the end, we gave plus ones to everyone because my fiance and family convinced me that it was polite and expected.  We did drastically modify the guest list to ensure that if everyone had said yes, we wouldn’t be over budget.  A surprising number of people declined (about 50%), so it didn’t matter in the end.  And on my wedding day, I didn’t care that there were a couple strangers.  I was honestly so busy that I didn’t notice.

Post # 37
516 posts
Busy bee

I really don’t think that traveling = getting a +1.

People are adults, as one PP mentioned in another context, and they can get on an airplane, come to town, and attend your wedding on their own.  ESPECIALLY if they’re part of a larger circle of guests that will be at your wedding. 

A wedding is not a prom.  I’m going to a wedding to celebrate my loved one and his/her new spouse, not to go on a date.

Post # 38
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I think its rude to not let guests bring +1. Its like you are punishing people who are not as official as you…

Post # 39
51 posts
Worker bee

@Toeternityandbeyond:  hey can I just say that maby they were slow to rsvp as they actually want to go to your wedding but not sure if they want to travell/navigate the day and evening by themselvs. 

I so understand guest lists are hard work with space/costs etc but unless these people know some other guests as in being activaly in their social circle/in contact alot them I would not consider them suitable to rely on for company for the day.

I understand your point but I am putting myself in the guests shoes for this post. 

Im in the camp that all adult guests should be given the same respect and given the option to have their own guest. I would never assume that any friend of mine should be ok once they knew a few other guests.



Post # 40
10 posts
  • Wedding: November 2014


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@inspiration86:  Its not rude at all.  It is a monetary thing.  I am spending around $100 per person on food, transportation, drinks and such. You add 4 +1 that’s $400! Not chump change especially when it could be spent on the honeymoon. I am not going to spend it on the current flavor of the month or so you do not have to travel alone. Plus you cannot just invite yourself a plus one! Now, if you are living together and I didn’t get them memo poopoo on me and I will apologize and give the +1.  Also, these people will be in your wedding photos!!! I do not want someone there that in the future I will not know/remember their name. Your kids will one day be looking at your album with you and ask you who that person is and your response will be I have no clue. :/

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