1 vegan at my reception

posted 11 months ago in Food
Post # 2
6660 posts
Bee Keeper

If the venue cannot provide a separate vegan meal (which would be unusual) ask if they will heat up a meal purchased elsewhere, such as Whole Foods. You don’t need to change the entire buffet.

Post # 3
5564 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

tiff0519 :  The entire menu doesn’t need to suit one person, your venue should just be able to make a special plate for someone who is vegan or has a food allergy.  I have never heard of a venue not accommodating this.

Post # 4
2758 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

You have to accommodate people’s dietary restrictions. I would assume this would be easy enough with a buffet? Although I wouldn’t consider something like not liking white potatoes as a dietary restriction. 

Post # 5
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

tiff0519 :  Keep in mind that I am vegan – 

The MOST you should do if offer one plate. Honestly you can prepare it yourself the day before and have someone warm it up at your wedding. Pasta with tomato sauce, a sweet potato, and broccoli. 

But I do not believe it is your job to make her a plate. I go into all events like this with a stomach that is already full, and a purse full of bananas and granola bars. We vegans eat before we go to family get togethers all the time, and I don’t think weddings are required to be so special and serve us. 

I would ask her what is one simple meal she would like, and try to get her a plate. Don’t change your entire menu around one person.

Post # 6
2510 posts
Sugar bee

Any decent caterer will be willing to prepare a special meal for people with dietary restrictions/allergies/children; you shouldn’t have to choose buffet items that suit her diet, they’ll just make her a special plate. 

That said, the caterer’s job is just to prep a vegan meal, not take into account all of her preferences. I’m vegan, and I’ve been to plenty of weddings where my special meal was quite tasteless and not to my preference. That’s fine. I just expect to be able to eat something (examples I’ve eaten at weddings: pasta w tomato sauce; potatoes and veggies; grilled portobello mushrooms, rice and veggies). Unless there’s a legit reason she has to eat sweet potatoes rather than regular (like she’s on a hypoglycemic diet for medical reasons), she should be able to suck it up for one meal. Though if the caterer offers several options for the special meal, you could run them by her if you wanted. 

ETA: I disagree with PP that she should have to eat beforehand, unless she is really so picky that she won’t want the vegan meal provided by the caterer. Logistically eating before weddings is difficult — even more so if she’s in your bridal party (not sure if that’s the case). And I do not want to be the person eating a granola bar at the table while everyone else is eating a plated meal.

Post # 7
812 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - Farm

tiff0519 :  Yes, you should try to accomodate her, as you are hosting her at your wedding reception and she is a guest and a friend. We had people with food allergies and restrictions and we took all of that into consideration. I would see if they could make her a vegan meal. 

Post # 10
449 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

I think she is worth looking out for because she is a willing guest to your wedding, HOWEVER do not change you menu so much so that you and your husband won’t enjoy it because what matters MOST is that you two are happy with it, I would say maybe try to include some things on your buffet that she could eat like maybe a salad, and/or some sort of pasta dish without meat/cheese or anything like that.

Post # 11
6660 posts
Bee Keeper

tiff0519 :  I didn’t suggest she bring a meal–I suggested if your caterer for some odd reason refuses to provide a vegan meal that you pick one up and have the caterer heat it up and serve it.

Post # 13
4498 posts
Honey bee

You should provide for legitimate dietary restrictions (allergies, religious or ethical beliefs).  You do not need to provide for self-imposed pickiness.

Simply ask your caterer to provide one vegan plate to fulfill your obligation of being a gracious host.  If they are able, ask if it can be whole grain (so brown rice or quinoa or a whole grain pasta).  But unless you are asking your entire guest list to RVSP with their entire likes or dislikes and are catering to each one of them, you just happening to know this particular individual’s likes and dislikes does not obligate you to specifically cater to them.  50% is being a gracious host.  The other 50% is being a gracious guest which means you politely accept what is offered and quit your bitching.  So if the vegan meal your caterer is best equipped to offer involves a white potato instead of a sweet potato or some other ingredient she just happens to not like but is in fact vegan, then too bad and your guest can pick around it.

Post # 15
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Not eating white potatoes or only whole grain pasta is not a dietary restriction, it’s a picky eater. You should offer her a vegan friendly meal by having the caterer make her one (you will be too busy to try remember that). However, you cannot and do not have to guarantee it meets her picky preferences, just dietary restrictions.

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