(Closed) 1 Year+ TTC Part Fourteen

posted 7 years ago in TTC
Post # 451
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442 posts
Helper bee

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saraja87:  holy shit is right!! Go embies GO! (I totally just did the wave for you here…well, it’s just me, so the wave part kinda got lost)

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phoebephoebo:  you’re totally not alone on the weight gain. FYI I heard about mine no less than 5 times at the RE today…sheesh.

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CityBearBride:  I’m hoping its just too early-because it is! No harm in holding out hope for a few more days.

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nyckitten:  I’m still so sorry lady…we’re here thinking good thoughts in your direction. Best advice I’ve received is to be gentle with yourself. And treat bad thoughts with wine. That too.

so for me, I just got back from an initial appt with the first RE. He was very competent, a little goofy, but was adamant that even if everything lines up and the moon is in the seventh house we are looking at 50% odds. Sigh. And that’s assuming that all our tests come back clear. He’s not worried about hubs, though he does have to have a SA and bloods. He is worried about me because at 35 my huevos could have been jumping ship and because I now have bilateral salpingectomies that could affect the blood supply to the Ovaries. he wants me to call on day 1 and come in on day 3 for bloods and ultrasound where he’s hoping to see a dozen resting follicles. If all goes well, he would want to start in January.

more things to worry about…but at least maybe we’ll find out soon whether we’re even candidates. Better to know before we crap out the money.

OH! And now I feel like a heifer. He asked if there were any health issues, and I said I’d gained 10-15 lbs since the first pregnancy/ectopic this year and I’d like to lose it before we start, but it’s not a health issue-it was an eating too much and not keeping track issue and I’m on it. He then brought it up at least 5 more times, how that was crucial. I get it. I know.

im 5’4″ and was about 145, so high end of normal. got up to 162 and am down now to 158 and south beaching my arse off to get back down. So yeah, I’m currently in overweight land. But I’m still a size 6/8, and I threw it out there as an aside, I didn’t expect that to be an issue. Maybe I’m just sensitive to a man commenting bout my weight, even a doctor. And telling me that I need to be adamant about watching calories over the holidays. And that I need to lose AT LEAST that 10-15 lbs, more would be good. with the emphasis on the AT LEAST. I’m not saying he’s wrong, I just…I guess wasn’t expecting that. 

Post # 452
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1226 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

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Frohike:  Thanks.  Yes, also treated with copious margaritas last night.  And definitely I would be a bit miffed about a doc harping on my weight too!  Like, obviously you get it, since you brought it up with him so you don’t really need him nagging.  Plus it’s not like the past year has been a walk in the park for you. 

Post # 453
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7305 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

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saraja87:  I have never heard of that, but am intrigued. My biggest fear with adoption is a genetic parent changing his/her mind and taking our child from us. I just don’t know that I could handle that pain. But “adopting” an embryo would, I imagine, somewhat reduce that risk. Of course we would have to investigate the legalities, but that could be a good option for us. But for now I am holding out hope that we will have healthy sperm to work with, making IVF a good option for us. I’m not ready to let go of the dream of our own “little us” quite yet.

And your embies are amazing. I am thrilled for you. Here’s to your little fighters!

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CityBearBride:  FX for you that it was just too early to test.

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nyckitten:  I’m so sorry for all that you are going through. Lots of hugs.

Post # 454
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7305 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

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Frohike:  How far are you from CD1? Hopefully your cycle is pretty close so you can get this show on the road soon. I would be seriously annoyed if a Dr was that fixated on such a small issue. If you were morbidly obese, then focusing on weight loss as part of a success plan would make sense. But a handful of extra pounds? Come on, man! That would make me question whether I could build a successful rapport with the doctor. I already dislike going to the doctor, so that could be a deal-breaker for me.

Post # 455
Bee
6468 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011 - Sydney, Australia

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nyckitten:  I’m so sorry hon. I’ve been there – from the missed miscarriage, to the d&c and the genetic waiting. Sending you so much love.

Post # 456
Bee
6468 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011 - Sydney, Australia

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Frohike:  Oh, I get SO cranky when FS’s go on and on about weight. It’s a pet hate of mine, being an overweight woman. Grrrrrrrrrrr. Hopefully some monitoring will give you more info! x

Post # 457
Member
442 posts
Helper bee

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nyckitten:  
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lovekiss:  Thanks ladies for not making me feel like I was oversensitive. Even the hubby (who is far from diplomatic) was like, “WTF? You’re not fat.” 

I have an appointment with a second RE on Thursday, so I’ll see if his bedside manner is a little more in tune with me. I don’t need to be coddled, but I already feel like a failure enough because my tubes failed one by one and because I’m too old and now because maybe my blood supply is compromised and blah blah blah…harping on my wobbly bits being too wobbly on top of everything else just made me want to throw in the towel. Seriously…in the infertility world I have to imagine some of us are a teensy bit sensitive, right?

The second RE and this one have the same stats on SART, but the one today has a lot more volume, which is supposed to be a good sign. 

I’m not sure when CD1 will be since I didn’t have a period, but the surgery should count as day 1…so sometime next week is my guess. At least I’ll have time to meet with the second guy and make a decision first.

Post # 458
Member
442 posts
Helper bee

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Mrs. Jaguar:  Thanks lady! Seriously, do they think we don’t have scales ourselves at home?

I told hubby when we first started dating that he was NEVER allowed to comment about my weight. Capital crime. I said that by the time he noticed anythng he could assume I was 1. well aware 2. had been obsessing about it long before he thought a thing about it and 3. saying anything would be a serious mistake on his part because he would lose nakey time priveleges.

Post # 459
Bee
6468 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011 - Sydney, Australia

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Frohike:  Haha, fair call. I’m with you! My FS always gently reminds me that losing weight would be a good option, but dude… I have PCOS and it’s a constant battle, so I think she gets it. 

You know what I’m sick of? Reading gender disappointment posts, after I’ve been up since 6am, have self jabbed two injections AND had a blood draw, all while most people are still sleeping. AND I’M STILL NOT PREGNANT.

Post # 460
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2051 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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Frohike:  Ughhhh how annoying!! I’m soo glad my RE didn’t harp on my weight.  I’ve put on 20 lbs in the past year and half.  I broke my ankle around this time last year and couldn’t really do much with it for 3 months, and I haven’t gotten back in to my exercise routine.  Plus I’ve started a new job where I sit at a desk for 10 hours a day.  Not helping either.  I’m at 180 right now, trying to get back down to your weight!  My RE wants me at a BMI less than 30, so I’ve got 10 pounds to go til I reach that.  My husband has started hinting ‘are you going to go to the gym today’? and while I appreciate the encouragement, it’s starting to feel like nagging and is making me resentful.  I need to talk to him about it.

Andd….. BFN at 14 DPIUI (with a FRER).  No spotting or sign of AF yet though.  My doc said come in for a blood test tomorrow.

 

Post # 461
Member
2051 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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nyckitten:  I’m so sorry again.  I’m glad the D&C was not painful though, you’ve been through enough.  Also glad to hear that lots of margaritas were consumed!

 

Post # 462
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2787 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

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CityBearBride:  We’re at the same weight, I have gained 25 lbs in the last year and a half 🙁 It’s been a rough time, I’ve been pregnant, not pregnant, then pregnant again. I just don’t have the strength and motivation to get better about exercising. I specifically asked the 3 REs I’ve seen about my weight, if it was an issue, and they all said no, I ovulate and conceive. One RE said it’d be good to lose 10 lbs for my overall health but that’s it. I’m sorry about the BFN, I’m hoping you implanted late and you’ll have a positive beta tomorrow, fingers crossed!

Post # 463
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442 posts
Helper bee

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Turtle83:  I hear you on the rough road. That’s one thing my husband said too-that I’ve been pregnant and then traumatically not pregnant twice in the last 8 months. He thinks I still have pregnancy hormones telling me to gain weight which I know objectively I don’t, but there is an emotional cost to this shit, and I’ve paid it in nachos.

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CityBearBride:  I’m still crossing my fingers for a late implanter!

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Mrs. Jaguar:  OMG! I didn’t even know there was such a thing! I did a search on the bee for “gender disappointment.” Oh man…I know everyone may have a slight preference/hope for boy/girl, but yeah…that really grinds my gears.

We should start a “grinds my gears” section. Number 1 on my list is all them ladies who tell me in a condescending way that I won’t understand XYZ since I’m not a mother. Maybe they’re right, but I have an overwhelming urge to poke them straight in the eye. (I say “they” because I’ve gotten this from more than one, many times, unsolicited) Maybe they’ll understand that when they have something they hope for blow up in their face. (Not that I wish that on anyone)

Actually, number 1 on my list is all the smug pregos. All of them. Not their fault, but I get all grumbly and Bridget Jones-y about it because I’m not one of them. 

Post # 464
Member
2787 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Mrs. Jaguar:  Gender disappointment posts, I’d be annoyed as well, I wish I had that problem!

Frohike:  After 5 losses (4 chemical pregnancies and 1 miscarriage) I have eaten a lot of chocolate and potato chips lol Number 1 on my list of “grinds my gears” is people that make it a point to tell everyone how fertile they are (they weren’t even trying, did the deed only once, etc) Keep that info to yourselves!! Hahaha I sound bitter.

Post # 465
Member
442 posts
Helper bee

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Turtle83:  Yes!! I second that one!! 

And you don’t sound bitter…or at least no more than me. If you have nothing nice to say, come sit by me!

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