(Closed) 1+ year TTC! Part V.

posted 8 years ago in TTC
Post # 287
Member
3059 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

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@razzzzzz: 
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@HopefulForLittleOne:  Thanks lovelies!!!

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@HopefulForLittleOne: Ummmm….of course you should still check in even though you aren’t doing retrieval until June – We’d miss you too much if you didn’t! πŸ™‚ 

Post # 288
Member
791 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Hi ladies!!  I know I wasn’t a very big part of this for very long, or very often, but I just wanted to pop in and say that I’m officially graduating.  15months of actively TTC, 1 CP and 1MC later.  I hope this is it this time!  This was my first cycle on Clomid and I got my BFP on Saturday at 9DPO.  With my recent MC, my Dr sent me for a beta test yesterday, and my first draw was 123.8!  I go back again on Thurs for a 2nd draw, but I’m cautiously hopeful.  I really thought I’d be more stressed out and worried, but I’m oddly calm about it all, which I hope is a good sign.

 

You are all amazingly wonderful and supportive!  I wish nothing but the best for all of you ladies.

 

Post # 289
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1226 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

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@lonsk:  Glad the HSG went well!  Yay for freedom from the MIL!!!

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@Yellow.Clover:  Hoping that maybe randomly out of the blue this is your BFP cycle.  I agree — not liking the Wondfos very much these days.

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@lroetheli:  Oh yay!  A graduate!!!  We needed one!!  Big congrats and my fingers and toes crossed that this is it for you. 

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@HopefulForLittleOne:  Thanks for checking in even though you’re in a bit of a holding pattern!  Hoping the testosterone issue ends up working out okay. 

AFM, it’s still not looking good.  Negative home test again today.  Stark white sticks.  I think I was still holding out a bit of hope before, but it has hit me pretty hard today.  Just waiting for the final bad news on Friday.  I find myself again irrationally angry at DH and can’t help but blame him even though that’s a horrible thing to do (even though I had a small uterine septum, male factor is really our issue).  I never really thought we would fail IVF and then fail a frozen transfer…very bad luck.  Sorry to be a downer.  Wish I had better news!  

Post # 290
Member
3059 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

double post! ;p

Post # 291
Member
3059 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@lroetheli:  Congrats again hun! Hope the calmness is a good sign!

@nyckitten:  Ugh, yeah, I’m liking them a lot less today, I’m so disappointed for you my dear, my heart is breaking. I’m soooo sorry! Ugh. I wish there were words to say to make it better, but sadly there are not. Just know that we are all here for you!! I’m still going to hold hope for you that maybe there’s still a small chance! I hate to even ask, because I’m not giving up on you for this cycle, but what will the next steps be?

AFM, I caved and tested this morning as well. And again, BFN. I told myself I wasn’t going to test and I was just going to let AF come, but I figured I should put myself out of the misery and just get it over with. I was tired of thinking that every little boob pain, cramp, nausea, etc I was PG. *Sigh* I know we all can relate.

But, I’m OK! Again, I’m one cycle closer to my BFP.

*HUGS* for all

Post # 292
Member
1009 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

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@Yellow.Clover:  You make me smile.  Thank you πŸ™‚

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@lroetheli:  Now that’s what I call short and sweet!  Congrats!

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@nyckitten:  Oh honey, I am so sorry.  This is what so, so sucks about IVF.  You turn your body into a pin cushion, you spend all that money, and then have just a 50/50 shot.  You’re so strong for having gone through it.  Do you think you’ll try it again?  Some people say the first round is just a trial, so they know how to tweak it to make it work better the second time.  And I’m sorry that you find yourself angry.  That only has to make this horrible process worse.  My DH feels very guilty, and thus far I can’t say I feel angry at him (though I haven’t been through all you have), but sometimes, especially in therapy when I’m letting everything out, I find myself saying things that are tinged with bitterness at DH’s situation.  Especially when I’m the one having to do XYZ, as DH sits back and does nothing, when we’re in this situation because of him.  I know its a really big step, but are you open to considering donor sperm?  For us, a big fear I had was blowing all of our money on IVF, and then not having any money left to adopt (which would cost us WAY more than IVF).  It was a bit of a relief when we discussed donor sperm, and DH was open to it.  If IVF doesn’t work (epecially if it shows that DH’s sperm don’t work/can’t find useable sperm/biopsy is too invasive to do again for a subsequent round), but our doc thinks that things are ok with my eggs/body, then DH is willing to do IUI with DS before moving to adoption.  It would be easier on me, sooo much cheaper than IVF, and DH could still watch my belly grow every day, etc. etc.  I know its a really big decision to make.  For us, knowing that that might be an option, took some of the pressure off.  But its such a hard decision.  DH was originally very much against it when he first got his diagnosis, but has come around.

Post # 293
Member
1226 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

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@Yellow.Clover:  Thanks for your support.  Sorry for your BFN too. πŸ™  I guess you’re right — one cycle closer to our BFP.  I guess especially if one thinks there’s a plan out there for us, we’re just getting closer to having that plan be realized.

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@HopefulForLittleOne:  Thanks dear.  It’s a bit discouraging because now I’ve had a failed IVF (well, chemical pregnancy) and a failed frozen transfer, so if it was 50/50 I should be pregnant by now!  (But at my clinic it’s less than 50/50).  I’m glad you’re not mad at your DH.  I guess for me is that unlike your DH, my DH doesn’t seem to feel particularly guilty.  Though I know that he probably does feel guilty and I should recognize that.  It’s tough though because, like you said, as the women we’re the ones that need to take all the drugs, injections, procedures, etc. (well, I guess both of our DH’s have had their fair share of procedures too…okay, I’m feeling better now).  Yes, we would consider donor sperm.  I’ve actually contemplated seeing if we could use his brother’s sperm, which should share about 50% of his genes.  But I think everyone would think that was weird and he wouldn’t be comfortable with it, so we’d probably use another donor.  But I would like to try IVF with his sperm at least 1 more time (like another full cycle plus whatever frozen transfers come with it) before thinking more about donor sperm.  Good news is that it’s looking like with my new job in NYC one of the insurance plans I can choose might cover up to $10K for IVF!  That would be huge. 

Today was rough — I ended up leaving school/work early because was just not feeling it and sitting in front of the TV for a while. But then I took my kitty furbabies outside and felt better. We still have one more frozen embie to try.  And I won’t totally write off this one yet until Friday. 

 

Post # 295
Member
1009 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

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@nyckitten:  Lord, it must be frustrating to think that with 50/50, it should have happened after a fresh transfer and an FET.  But sometimes, when you flip a coin, you get heads twice in a row.  I know it sounds silly (DH thought I was losing it when I admitted this), but I have flipped a coin repeatedly to see how many times I might get straight heads or tails to assess the whole 50/50 thing.  And while I hope that things work out with what you have already, that is great news about insurance coverage for another round.  Are you willing to try out a new RE?  My friend who referred me to my amazing RE also had a similar health plan where $10k was covered, and the office was very willing to work with it.  Now it seems like half of the Resolve boards are also singing my RE’s praises.  If you’d be interested in checking it out, send me a PM and I’ll send you the info (including the email address of the very nice woman who handles the financial/insurance side of things).  And thank you for reminding me that DH will also go through a very invasive procedure (probably more so than I will, though he does it in one fell swoop).  Do you think your DH just doesn’t want to let on how he feels?  This is such a sensitive thing for some men and the whole idea that some people (wrongly, imho) have of what it says about masculinity.  I just get frustrated when my DH doesn’t seem to understand some of the basics (like he recently asked me, if they don’t find useable sperm in the biopsy, when they do my egg retrieval, can they just switch it to IUI with DS?– Gah!  Such questions show that he just doesn’t understand what’s actually happening and is very frustrating for me), or need reminders (like today I had to remind him to make a follow-up with the new urologist, after I spoke to his previous urologist yesterday– and of course she called me, rather than him, even though he’s the patient, because he doesn’t know what questions to ask).  I have to remember that I have the time to research everything, while DH has a very hectic demanding job that doesn’t allow that, and I know he’s grateful for all that I do in this process.  And I’m glad that you are open to the possibility of DS.  While we obviously hope that it doesn’t come to that, I find that it does provide some peace of mind to know that all my eggs aren’t in one basket (horrendous pun very much intended πŸ™‚  And I’m glad you have your furries to keep you company.  As much as this whole process sucks, I can’t help but smile with our little guy πŸ™‚

Post # 297
Member
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Hi ladies πŸ™‚ I am pretty active on the 6+ board, but this month marks one year and 13 cycles for my DH and I TTC. Here’s my roll call:

Cycle Day and TTC since/Cycles trying:  CD1 *whomp whomp* πŸ™ TTC since May 2012, this is our 13th cycle, with a BFP in January (cycle 9) Sadly suffered an early MC at the end of February at 6w3d.

Age (if you care to share): 31, DH is 31 as well.

Issues if any: No known issues; been through some preliminary fertility testing. (Blood work to test my hormone levels and an ultrasound to check my ovaries and uterus) Before my BFP in January, we were going to send DH for his SA. If we have no luck the next few cycles, he will probably go for one. The doctor advised there would be no need for a HSG since I was able to get pregnant.

Charting? (share your chart if you like): n/a

Estimated next POAS date: I don’t POAS until AF is late. I did POAS twice this last cycle though, because I had such high hopes. It was our first cycle trying since after my MC. Going forward I won’t POAS until AF is late. So I am going to say I will POAS on June 2nd if AF doesn’t show by then. It’s our one year anniversary!

How are you going after you BFP: When we first started TTC, I used OPKs for the first few months to see when I would get my surge; after I had the initial testing that confirmed I was ovulating, I stopped using OPKs. I used them this last cycle to see when I would get my surge. I probably will use them this cycle as well so make sure I am back on track with AF coming every 29-30 days.

What are you HAPPY about right now? I am happy after returning from a girls trip with my mom and sister to California. It was MUCH needed and it was so great to get away from reality for a few days. I am also happy that my DH just got an amazing promotion at work that will allow us to save more money for a down payment on a house. I have a lot to be thankful and happy for in life, getting a BFP and our sticky baby will just be icing on the cake. I really hope it happens soon.

Post # 300
Member
2374 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

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@nyckitten:  Wishing for the best results for you today lady!

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@Yellow.Clover:  You are always so sweet and kind. Thank you for thinking about me, I just started my last pack today. Hopefully these three weeks would fly by. Sorry you got a BFN, hopefully AF don’t show up today, and the day after, and the day after……

Post # 301
Member
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

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@razzzzzz:  
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@HopefulForLittleOne:  Thanks ladies. I hope to get caught up a little on this thread so I can get to know some of you I don’t know from the 6+ board πŸ™‚  

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