(Closed) 1 year+ TTC Thread – Part 4 – Bring on the BFP's

posted 9 years ago in TTC
Post # 377
Member
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011 - Vandiver Inn

@nyckitten:  I’m so very sorry to hear this hon. There’s really nothing I can say to make it better. I just wanted you to know I’m thinking of you.

Post # 379
Member
2294 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@nyckitten:  I’ve found that very few people do truly “get it”.  My own mother who has had a miscarriage as well, still doesn’t really get what all of this is doing to me.  Not discounting her loss at all, but she already had my brother, and then within a couple of weeks of the miscarriage, she started tossing her cookies with me.  She never really had a chance to mourn before she was pregnant again with another sticky bean.  So while she hates seeing me as torn up as I am about all of this, she doesn’t really understand why I can’t just “move on”.  

Unless they’ve been there and experienced it, they just really don’t understand what LTTTC and miscarriage does to a persons mental thought process.  I struggle daily with feelings of being less of a woman because I can’t produce a child.  I struggle with feeling broken… with the betrayal of my body… with the thought of failure.  Most people’s response to these are “It just wasn’t meant to be” but no one can say why and no one gets that that answer doesn’t help me to feel at all better about things.

The one I’ve been getting the most lately is “well just adopt!”.  Oh sure.  ok.  So you have the $30-60K that adoption is likely to cost?  You’ll come help me prepare my home for the home study that’s required and costs $4,500 (at least in my state)?  You have a child ready for me to adopt that’s within the age range that we’d want?!  UGH!  People just don’t think their comments through.  My husband and I ARE looking into adoption, but adoption isn’t for everyone.

My husband just told me what his response is to the people who tell him that he’s lucky because kids are messy and a bother, and I love it!  He tells them “Ok, all of that aside, what was it like the first moment you held your child?”  He says that every one of them get all googly eyed, and then have that moment of clarity where they realize what a dumb thing they just said.

If you ever need to talk, please please please hit me up.  I’m so so so sorry that you are having to go through this and I am so familiar with the meriad of feelings that come with a miscarriage.

 

Roll Call:

Cycle Day and Cycles trying:  CD8, but we aren’t trying this cycle.  We are holding off until we have further testing done.  Hopefully we can get that all done this cycle and be ready to try again next cycle.  I hate saying my length of time trying by cycle number because 17 months were spent with no cycles.  Total time spent so far is 32 months.  Total cycles on the other hand are only 13-15.

Chart if you have one:  http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2fd143

Because I’m cold and for fun, if money were no object and you could leave tomorrow, where would you go for a vacation?:  Two things I would love to do:  Austrailia/New Zealand for like a month to explore and visit some friends over there.  The other thing, is Alaska.  I would LOVE to explore Alaska and do an Alaskan cruise.

What are your plans for Valentine’s day!?:   We’ll be spending our morning at the RE’s office trying to convince her to order the testing that I want done.  After that we are going to try and salvage some of the fun of V-day by going out to dinner and a movie.  

Post # 381
Member
1126 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@nyckitten:  i am so so sorry that it didn’t work out. How devastating for you. I’m glad you have some frozen embies to use – how long do you have to wait before you try again?

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@elchalten:  glad to read that the rollercoaster has slowed down. have missed hearing from you but completely understand the need for a break xx

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@Yellow.Clover:  the confusing thing about Progesterone numbers is that they use different measurements in US compared to Aus/Europe. Which is why I thought my number of 24 was fine for ages until I looked further into it.

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@macmint83:  Liquid Vitex bumped my Prog from 24 to 29 within a few months, and then to pregnant within a couple more!! I know you can get it in tablet form at chemists here in Aus, but we have to get liquid form from a Naturo here. There are proper scientific studies showing it’s effectiveness too, if you want to check first.

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@dodgercpkl:  i’m so sorry that on top of everything else, you are dealing with thoughtless or insensitive people πŸ™

 

And seems like I live in a very popular place on the ‘dream vacation’ lists πŸ™‚ Although you wouldn’t be visiting my boring town if you were here…!

Post # 382
Member
924 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

writing from my phone, so sorry for errors (and for bold type i cant turn off).  NYCkitten, i am so, so sorry. i hope your doc’s office may have some guidance on what went wrong. or maybe thats what makes the ivf process so frustrating and scary. as someone about to join you on that rollar coaster, i wish i knew what to say. Dodger, i rise to give you a long, slow clap. i am so tired of people throwing out adoption without any concept of costs and processes involved, never mind the emotional battelfield of birthmothers who change their minds or older children with abondonment issues. im at the point now where i doubt the level of support i  will get from my sister. she is hyperfertile, and will give birth to her second in a couple weeks.  she has become very religious and very conservative on certain issues. i remain deeply prochoice, and though my conversations with her about that issue (she recently sent me an article that she said explained her views), i also doubt her support of ivf. she would gladly vote on a human life bill that would make ivf illegal. i feel like i not only do not have her support, but i have her disapproval. if this does work for us, i cant help but wonder if she would look down at her niece/nephew because of their method of conception. im so glad that you have found support on this community,  and am so glad to have it too.  the way i feel now, i wont even tell her about when we’ll undergo anything. shemll find out that  anything worked  (please please, something work!) when the rest of the world does.

Post # 384
Member
2729 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@HopefulForLittleOne:  Good luck at your appointment on the 25th, prayers sent that everything works out perfectly! And 1/2 off chocolates are the best!! πŸ™‚

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@razzzzzz:  I think you did just post a roll call…sorry. Just it’s been so long since we’ve all done one, I lost track on where everyone was in their cycle. BFP for V-day would be nice!! πŸ™‚

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@nyckitten:  Oh dear, I am so, so, so sorry! I’m lost for words. *HUGS* I can only imagine the pain you must be feeling. You’ve been in my thoughts all weekend!

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@macmint83:  Thanks for responding! I guess I should’ve looked at where you were located first; I forgot that the levels vary depending on where you are located! Durp. TTC brain is really affecting me! But hooray to the “normal-ish” 4 week cycle! πŸ™‚

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@elchalten:  I can certainly understand the benefits of trying to keep your mind clear of TTC overload. I’m glad your still hanging in. *HUGS*

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@dodgercpkl:  Hope your V-day is everything it can be that’s beautiful, fun, and most importantly full of LOVE. So sorry to hear about all the thoughtless comments you and your DH are receiving.

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@hamikay:  You’re SO right!!? I totally forgot about that until I went back and seen where she was located. Brainless moment…

Post # 385
Member
2729 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@LEwife543:  How you feeling? It’s almost test time!! Your chart looks amazing!

AFM, I’m 99.9% sure I’m out, so AF will be here on Vday πŸ™  But it’s okay…Hubby is getting his blood work done that morning so hopefully we can start at the fertility clinic soon!

 

Post # 386
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@macmint83:  /-: Well… 13 is a lucky number! (-:

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@nyckitten:  im so so sorry. I really thought this was it for you. But at least you have some additional fertilized eggs Ready! (-:

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@elchalten:  breaks are honestly at the best thing sometimes. Keep thinking positive. And we’re all here for you. (-:

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@nyckitten:  it’s difficult to find people who understand fertility issues. Im so sorry you’re going through this. /-:

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@dodgercpkl:  wise words. I went on an Alaskin cruise for our honeymoon. A-M-A-zing!!

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@nyckitten:  ugh. Yeah. I probably would adopt. Because I want to have a child. BUT I know that I will always yearn for that connection, the pregnancy and the feelings/emotions and experiences that come with it. Vent all you want!!! (-;

Post # 387
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@hamikay:  sigh… Yes. Australia would be lovely to visit. 

 

Ps!!! I am readying the board Daily. Just busy. And trying to stay positive. Sending happy thoughts to all my sisters! I hope that everything is going great, even if its CD1, for some. You’re all wonderful people. Dealing with the stresses of fertility issues can be so taxing. Just remember… 

What lies behind you and what lies in front of you.. Pales in comparison to what lies inside of you. 

Post # 388
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@Yellow.Clover:  )-: I’m so sorry. I just saw your chart. Maybe this next cycle will be much nicer with all of the de-stressing you’ve been doing. (-:

I’m ok. I’ve been busy. My chart looks great. But I’m not feeling as positive as I was a week ago. I’m 9dpo. And been mapping everything. Bbt and symptoms. I may be over analyzing. Who knows. I have a few more days to go. Then I’ll be testing. Can’t decide if I should just wait until Saturday. Or test on Vday. I’m getting nervous. Anyways… I’m thinking positive thoughts for everyone! I’ll check back soon. (-:

Post # 390
Member
2729 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@LEwife543:  Ah, it’s all good. I’m honestly just trying to expect the worst and keep my hopes at bay until we get to the fertility clinic. THEN I’ll start to analyze everything and get my hopes up way too high…sigh.

I have very high hopes for you; you had perfect timing and the increase in Clomid hopefully did the trick! I’ll admit I caved and tested at 9dpo! Not sure what I was expecting being that I tested that early, anyways…oh well. What if you tested tomorrow? 10dpo is generally an accepted testing time…and if it’s negative just keep in the back of your mind that it was still early and continue as normal and test again on Saturday? That way it won’t ruin your V-day but it can also make your Vday ooohh so much better with that BFP!! πŸ™‚

@nyckitten: Thank you dear. I’m so sorry this process is being dragged out for you. I think it’s a good idea to move onto the next steps as soon as possible. When would you be able to start your next round? Still sending much thoughts and prayers your way hon…HUGS!

Post # 391
Member
479 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Hi everyone, just checking in.  I’m at CD4.  Unfortunately, I was unable to schedule my HSG this cycle because it is apparently a hot commondity where I live and all the appointments were booked up by the time the nurse got back to me.  She said, “Well, I could put you on birth control and then schedule you out later than CD12 if you’d like.”  Ummmm, no way!  So, we’re going au natural again this month, planning on getting the HSG next month, and then starting clomid and IUI.  Trying to stay positive and focus on things that make me happy.  Right now I’m happy that I get to skiing this weekend since I’m not pregnant.  

@LEwife543: your temps look great! FX for you!

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