1 year + TTC / TTC with Infertility

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 917
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2037 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK

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larissakay :  Thanks bee. I’m slowly earning to ignore other people’s opinions. People are so open at my work so I know a lot think that 35 is too old to have a child (I’m 34 next month) and that IVF is a drain on our health system. 

I’m curious how much other bees have shared with management (if they work for someone) as with IVF there are a lot of appointments and I can’t imagine being able to hide it unless I have a ‘strange illness’ that mysteriously gets better then worse again!

Post # 918
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3311 posts
Sugar bee

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EllyAnne :  Ugh, yes, clearly the other bees on the other thread have never experienced infertility… They really just CANNOT fathom how it feels. They have no idea about the grief involved, the toll it can take on you emotionally, the toll it takes on your relationship. I’m so happy for the UK bees who have access to IVF on the NHS, it is absolutely fantastic. And that success rate is awesome 😀

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larissakay :  You have more balls than I do, I won’t even POAS anymore lol. I hope you ARE pregnant though 😀

Post # 919
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921 posts
Busy bee

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EllyAnne :  I shared with my direct boss that I was doing IVF. I tried to hold off as long as possible, but  my first retrieval was tentatively scheduled for the day of an important quarterly meeting I have and that I’m not allowed to miss.

Thankfully, my boss has been very understanding, in part because him and his wife just went through IVF last year.

I would hope most management would be understanding. I still try to schedule most of my appointments before work though.

Post # 920
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2181 posts
Buzzing bee

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RaccoonKitty :  I don’t know if I’d call it balls as much as stupidity. 

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EllyAnne :  Haven’t gotten to IVF yet, so I can’t fully relate, but there’s nothing wrong with saying that you’re working through a health-related issue. They might figure out what that is, but there’s a lot of illnesses/diseases that require regular appointments, so it shouldn’t be wholly unexpected. I also know a lot of clinics are open early so you may be able to schedule a lot of your appointments outside of work hours.

Post # 921
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2037 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK

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tulipdazey :  
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larissakay :  I don’t know if I’ll definitelty tell him about the IVF as in an ideal world I wouldn’t tell anyone at work until I was 12 weeks or when it became obvious if I’m sick. I’m close to my boss (he’s the MD) but it would be another person waiting to see if it works and I’m already not looking forward to that TWW! The consultant said that a lot of women take one to two weeks off work so they don’t have to explain and can relax at home. I don’t have any time left to take until April though unfortunately.

The clinic is open 8am until 5pm and she said everyone wants the 8am slots!

Post # 922
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609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

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EllyAnne :  I’m not going through ivf yet but I think I’ll just tell them I have appointments and then if I need to be off longer I’ll just say I have to have a procedure. I’ll probably tell them about my lap though as another woman at the office had endo and surgery and was quite open about it. I’m up for a promotion at work though and in an ideal world they wouldn’t know I was TTC while considering it as, much as it shouldn’t, it may influence their decision.

Post # 923
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2037 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK

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lucky_charm :  I told everyone when I had my lap. I was off for a week so I had to let them know in advance. It’s all men in my office and we are all quite open about things. I told them the lap was being performed due to pain which was partly true but obviously it was also a possible barrier to us conceiving. 

Telling management about IVF has other implications because if successful they know I’ll be off for a while. We are a small company so I’d have to train someone up quite far in advance of mat leave. 

It’s not right but I do understand what you say about the promotion being offered to someone else if they think you’ll be needing to take mat leave soon. My boss has never asked me but since I got married I think they’ve been waiting for me to tell them I’m pregnant! Two and a half years down the line they will either think we don’t want a baby or are having problems.

Post # 924
Member
3311 posts
Sugar bee

I had my FET yesterday, we sat waiting for a good hour and 15minutes at the Surgicentre and were getting increasingly nervous, the transfer itself took all of 5 minutes lol. So now we wait. Oh and the scientist told us our embie survived thaw with 90% of cells intact (they like to see at least 50% intact) and was starting to re-expand which is a really good sign. I hope this is our BFP…

I feel sick from the Progesterone as well, this TWW is going to be awful!!!!!!

Post # 925
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2037 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK

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RaccoonKitty :  So exciting for you. That sounds like a strong embie! Wishing you all the luck in the world. Hope you can rest this weekend if the progesterone is making you feel bad.

We got our ICSI schedule for January. I didn’t quite realise the number of times I’d have to go to the clinic so I’m going to have to talk to work soon. I’m taking Metformin now as they were concerned about OHSS with my high AMH. It’s quite harsh on the digestive system!

Post # 926
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3311 posts
Sugar bee

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EllyAnne :  I swear the worst side effects for the whole IVF process has been from the pill and progesterone, ugh. it’s not pleasant!

YAY!!!! January will be here before you know it 😀 Ugh, sorry, I have heard Metformin can be pretty rough.

Post # 927
Member
921 posts
Busy bee

Sorry, I’ve posted this on some other posts so far, but I could use some encourangement…

I got bad news on Friday that I am still trying to process and honestly feeling really down about. Long story short, my IVF cycle got cancelled AGAIN. When I went for my baseline last Wednesday, they said my progesterone was high. They had me come back in on Friday to recheck, but they weren’t worried. Well, it turns out, my progesterone levels went UP. Based on my second baseline on Friday, my ultrasound and blood work showed I had ovulated! For a second time! My nurse said she therefore suspects the period I thought I was having wasn’t actually a real period. That seemed crazy to me… but what I thought was AF only lasted 3 days… AF usually lasts at least 7 for me. My FF chart also shows two distict temperature rises at the time of my first ovulation and second. So I guess I believe them. My nurse says she has never seen something like this happen before. Anyway, I need to wait for my “real” period now. Unfortunately though, if I don’t start stims by December 3rd, I will have to wait until the new year for another IVF cycle. My nurse doesn’t think I will make that timeline and I am heartbroken to have to wait until 2019 to get started again.

Post # 928
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467 posts
Helper bee

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RaccoonKitty : Fantastic!  Very excited for you! Hope your coping ok in the dreaded 2ww…when is your test day?

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EllyAnne :  Thats great news! You can try to enjoy Christmas now and look forward to getting started in Jan! It’ll fly in for you im sure! Very exciting! Prob best to tell your direct manager in work. Im facing the same issue. With my first cycle cancelled i know there will be plenty of appointments coming up once i get started again. Ill likely have to confide in my Manager. I get on with him and all, but id rather not tell him. Ill see how it goes…

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tulipdazey :  Im so so sorry your second cycle got cancelled.  That is beyond devastating. I had my first cycle cancelled at down regulation last month and have been waiting weeks for af to show so i can get started again. Its so frustrating.  Have you gotten any reasons how this can have happened TWICE to you?. Obviously its unusual but what can they do to ensure it doesn’t happen again? I get the not wanting to go into the new year without another cycle before then. I really didnt want to wait until Jan either,  my hope is to be pregnant by then,  I would have been due my baby that i lost to ectopic in Jan and i think it will be all the harder if i dont conceive by then. 

Post # 929
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921 posts
Busy bee

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MrsG2BIre :  I am so sorry about your ectopic. We had our first miscarriage in December/January 2 years ago so coming into this season is a bit emotional for me as well.

Also, I was able to talk to my RE on Monday. She said she’s shared my medical info with a bunch of her colleagues and nobody has seen this happen before. The only conclusions they can come to are that with my first IVF cycle, I was over suppressed. With my second, I was under suppressed since obviously I managed to ovulate.

Anyway, as far as my next period, she said one of three things could happen. 1.) I get my period two weeks after the second ovulation. 2.) Biologically, she doesn’t expect me to get my period until a month from the beginning of this “period” since in two weeks my body will want to ovulate again. 3.) I could get another “fake” period two weeks from my second ovulation but will also ovulate again like I did this time.

As far as next steps… if I get my period by the 3rd and my baseline doesn’t show anything funky, they are going to skip any kind of priming and push me straight to stims. If I don’t, then we will re-evaluate before we start again next year.

Sigh. Still working on scheduling a second opinion too… because like you said, for it to be cancelled twice now seems like something is wrong. It just all blows my mind because technically I don’t have any “issues” on my end, so it seems like I shouldn’t be having so many problems getting to an egg retrieval!

Post # 930
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467 posts
Helper bee

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tulipdazey :  I do think considering a second opinion is a good idea. The only positive that you can take from this is that surely they’ll have learned enough about how your body works to get it right next time! The whole ivf thing is so hard mentally that any unexpected issues just adds to that. 

Me failing to down regulate on my first cycle was so disappointing but i guess we learned something from that. Like what was suggested for you,  on this cycle i just started straight into stims on cd2 and am now 4 days in. I have a scan Tuesday morning so i hope that there are follicles growing.  Im so nervous for the scans….i never seem to get good news at them so im always bracing myself for another knock. Im finding it physically ok,  injections etc are fine.  Its the emotional side of things im struggling with.

Im so sorry you had a miscarriage aswell,  its so hard and like you say coming into the season just makes it hit home that bit harder. I keep thinking about how i should be heavily pregnant now shopping for our nursery etc…d.h is talking to me about being more positive so im trying! 

Post # 931
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2037 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK

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RaccoonKitty :  How are you? When will you be testing?

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