10 months gone, 2 to go

posted 2 months ago in Waiting
Post # 107
Member
399 posts
Helper bee

Hey Bee,

Sorry you are going through this. Two people who love each other, even without a wedding, still have to fight things out in the Court when there are kids/property if they can’t agree. I never understand this argument. Plus, you can always draft a pre-nup.

I’m sorry you are going through this, but I wish you the absolute best in finding a person whose goals align with yours. Have you looked into freezing your eggs?

Post # 109
Member
1219 posts
Bumble bee

sparkle99 :  again I’m so sorry bee. How awful that you’re having to deal with this.

You’re not alone, bee. We’re here for you. We see updates on the bee of women who started over and found an even better love. Please don’t lose hope. You deserve the best and I hope this horrible experience won’t taint that for you.

You will bounce back from this. Once you grieve and come to terms with it, you will be okay. Hugs 

Post # 110
Member
19 posts
Newbee

You are a very strong woman. I’m impressed that you stuck to your values and dreams and stood up for yourself.   A lot of people would have dragged on for much longer only to have the same result. I hope you find your happy ending!  I met my now husband at 34 and welcomed our first daughter and 35 and second at 37 so don’t count yourself out.  Take time to heal and enjoy life and I’ll be wishing for your happy ending. 

Post # 111
Member
1214 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2019 - USA

sparkle99 :  I’m both angry and happy to read your update. Angry because this selfish asshole dragged you along for a year, happy because you had the intuition to know something was wrong, and the self-respect to stand up for yourself and not settle for someone who isn’t 100% committed to you. You will pull through this bee. 

Post # 112
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

When I was 33, my ex and I had been talking marriage in August, went to look at rings in the fall, went to Paris over Christmas and it was there that I found out he was cheating on me.  I had all but decided that I was too old and didn’t want to start over. I turned 34 in February 2015 and met my husband in May/June. We were engaged the following December 2016, married a year later, and now in 2019 I’m pregnant with our first.

Please don’t give up hope and just be so happy that you’re out from a bad situation.  

Post # 113
Member
84 posts
Worker bee

33 is not that old, OP. I hope you meet a much better man soon. 

Post # 114
Member
2011 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

sparkle99 :  you’ll find the man of your dreams and still have kids bee. My cousin didnt get married until she was 38 and still got 3 kids afterwards 🙂🙂

Post # 115
Member
10 posts
Newbee

sparkle99 :  I’m so sorry he did this to you. Good for you for walking away, you deserve so much better.

Post # 116
Member
710 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

Yes please know you are supported. I met my now husband at 33 and we just got married a few weeks ago at 35. We dated and married in 2 years total. You will find someone and it will be ok. We are here if you need encouraging words or support of any kind. Lots of hugs bee. 

Post # 117
Member
46 posts
Newbee

Hi, 

I’m sorry things turned out this way but I think you were right to walk away. He doesn’t sound like someone you could ever count on. Take the time you need to heal then get yourself back out there. You may be surprised how quickly and easily you’re able to filter out the men who don’t share the same goals and timelines as you when you’re ready to move forward. 

I thought opportunities for marriage and a family had passed me by. Then I met my husband when I was 36. We married when I was 38, and started a family when I was 39. I wish you good fortune, as well. ❤️

Post # 118
Member
210 posts
Helper bee

Some bees were being so rude at the beginning of this thread and saying you were impatient and you were wrong to set a year long timeline, but your gut instinct was spot on. The fact that he was dragging his feet nearly a year after discussing marriage and months after buying the ring showed something was ‘off’. I’m sorry you are going through this but please don’t lose hope. 

Post # 119
Member
36 posts
Newbee

Sorry to hear this. Did he just not believe in marriage or is it because he’s scared of divorce?

Post # 120
Member
68 posts
Worker bee

Hi Bee – Man, I know the feeling. I just turned 35 and want kids too. Also, this past summer, I DID freeze my eggs, and I HIGHLY recommend it. It can be expensive, but to me it was worth it. At first, I just wanted to see IF I had any fertility issues. I think you can get an estimate of your ovarian reserve pretty easily/cheaply. For $90, they did an anti-muellerian (AMH) test and transvaginal ultrasound, where they count follicles. I had a good supply of eggs, but still went through with the freezing because quality can decline with time. Also, I think it just made me feel empowered and less desperate. I still always expected that I would be in a different place in my life at this time, but I can’t turn back time, so this was one thing I could control. I’m proud of you for moving on though! Better now than later. Hang in there!

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