(Closed) 10 years of friendship down the drain :(

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I dont think you are selfish. Just because she liked a guy that she did not have a chance with did not mean he was off limits. But maybe you should have been upfront with her about it. That does not make you a bad person, it just means you made a mistake. But everything happens for a reason and your Fiance was meant to be in your life and your ex friend was not.

Post # 4
Member
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

You ARE the better person. Dont doubt it, and, in the long run you’ll make more friends and in the long run your relationship with J would have continued to be toxic. You’re better of without her. 

Post # 5
Member
1325 posts
Bumble bee

O_O

Oh wow. I hope you feel better. That was a lot. I’m glad you were able to get that out because it seems like you needed it.

Really, someone could go on and on about your ex-friend. I’ll try and be short and sweet.

Phuk her. Seriously.

There are so many things that I could say to defend you, but all I really want to say is that guys aren’t property. She didn’t have dibs on S or anything. She’s si-ko.

Don’t bother with her every again.

Post # 6
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

this is totally a toxic friendship! I know it’s hard to let go of people you have had such a close relationship with…..but this girl could have also contacted YOU! She’s jealous……plain and simple.

Post # 7
Member
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

what does “electonic” mean?

Post # 8
Member
624 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

You are the victim so stop beating yourself up.  It’s very hard to let go of someone who you were once close and has been in your life for so long. I had my own J… You need to put her out of your mind and ignore anything that is said to you about her.  She will bring you down if you let her.

Post # 11
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Wow, you are so not the bad guy here.  Your “friend” is psychotic for blaming you for all of her problems.  Maybe she needed someone to blame and you just happened to hurt her once, therefore she feels entitled to blame you, but honestly, she sounds crazy. 

I don’t even think that you needed to tell her right away when you and your Fiance started hanging out.  It’s not like you were going behind her back just to hurt her. You have no reason to feel bad about it.  Like PP said, guys are not property, and you can’t help that you guys fell in love.  Especially since it wasn’t a one night thing, but you’re together for life!  She should be happy for you, not acting like you stabbed her in the back.

You just need to realize that this wasn’t your fault.  Especially since she gave you an ultimatum.  She made you choose, and it sounds like your life is so much better for the choice you made! Listen to your Fiance and family, you’re not selfish or heartless, especially since you obviously care enough to be worrying about this!

Post # 12
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I could read it all but it sounds like you have a friend who like the guy you are now engaged to. he didn’t return her feelings. She in turn took all your friends and slept with one of those friends boyfriends?

 I’d say your clear of any guilt. You fiance wanted to be with you, not your fault. Your ex friend sounds like a winner. I’d probably her existence.

Post # 13
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

wow

 

Lots of friendships are unhealthy and onesided- some frindships can be as toxic as abusive relationships!

You have done nothing wrong, enjoy your engagement, enjoy your marriage and your life, maybe in a few years when she has grown up a little, she’ll be able to see things a little clearer. If not, youre better without her 🙂

Post # 14
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I don’t think you have anything to feel bad about. You said it, it’s not high school this is real life. If you had been an unfailing, loyal like a puppy dog type of friend, where would you be now? You would be missing out on the greatest love of your life, and you certainly wouldn’t be engaged to him either. A true friend would encourage you to find that, rather than tell you who’s off limits. I think 100% you made the right decision and your ex-friend sounds crazy, and you are better off without her drama.

Post # 15
Member
5106 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@FutureMrsPolizzi: You are definitely the better person in this WHOLE situation and please don’t ever think differently. PERIOD. She is not a friend, she can’t even be true to herself.

Post # 16
Member
2321 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Just concentrate on your future with your Fiance and your families. Don’t pay attention to J. She knows her character all too well (i.e. sleeping with someone else’s bf and not admitting it was wrong.) Don’t waste your time on her anymore.

If she comes crying to you one day with apologies, then give it a thought. Before that, forget it. And don’t expect that day either. Just move on with your own life. Period.

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