- 7 years ago
- Wedding: May 2016
We’ve been together very long, but started dating young (19) and had lots of obstacles in our way, which have made me okay for the most part with not being married until I hit my 30s, so I guess while I’d have been happy to have a super simple wedding in my early 20s and have been married all these years, I haven’t been nervous or super upset until the last 3-5, and even then knew things were still so messed up from past issues that marraige wasn’t practical, no matter how much I wanted it – what I’m trying to say is that though we’ve been together a long time, I guess I haven’t been honestly “waiting” the whole time.
I’d like to ask others who have been together a decade or longer before engagement or marriage what changed and made you, him or both take those steps? Is there really an age when a man decides he’s ready? Does “the talk” ever get better, or does it really just breed resentment on both sides? Do men who are comfrotable ever get the urge for marraige? Does it really take the idea of losing me to make him realize it’s important?
I don’t beleive in ultimatums, and pretty much figure barring lack of family and other self esteem issues not helped by being an unmarried woman in a very long relationship getting much worse, I’ll be with him until I die, assuming he lets me, ceremony or not, so I’m not looking to be told to go find another man – I value him more than a ring or wedding… I just see the ring/wedding/changing of my name as a traditional sign that he values me, too, just as much, and not having it… is hurting pretty badly these days, no matter how sweet he is, no matter how much I can see him growing from a kind of Peter Pan to a real adult.
I’d like to hear some “happy endings/beginnings”, if that’s okay.