10 years together, no proposal. Now engaged to a new man after 6 months.

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
522 posts
Busy bee

I mean you definitely shouldn’t stay with someone who doesn’t want the same things in life as you do but I’m not sure your advice applies to most people. Some people have longer timelines and there’s nothing wrong with that. It kind of sounds like you rushed into this based on your post simply because you wanted to get married but I may be wrong. I think every relationship is different and I wish you good health in yours. I think it took a lot of bravery to leave your previous relationship.

Post # 3
Member
29 posts
Newbee

Congrats bee!! I agree- one man may not give you something in years that another is already ready, willing, and able to give!! <3

Post # 4
Member
665 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2021

Congrats!  

Post # 6
Member
3827 posts
Honey bee

Congrats! I think it would be really helpful for a lot of bees if you talked about your exit, particularly the financial part. I see that as a reason to stay all over these boards, and it would be good to hear why that’s not an insurmountable situation if you’re comfortable with sharing.

Post # 7
Member
13567 posts
Honey Beekeeper

View original reply
lilymay31 :  It’s great that you left a relationship that was going nowhere, and it may have worked out for you, and I hope it does, but an engagement after six months of dating isn’t exactly to be recommended either. 

Long time “acquaintance” or not, you can’t really know someone well enough in that brief amount of time to have a full appreciation of what a future with him will look like. Most people recommend that you date through the honeymoon period for that reason. 

Post # 9
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Popping in to say Congratulations! as well as it’s a bit narrow minded to assume all quick engagements aren’t well thought out. My husband proposed after a little over 8 months of dating (never lived together) he was an associate of mine but by no means were we close friends by the time we started dating. We were both in our very early 30’s and I accepted his proposal, we got married about 6 months after we got engaged. We will be married 9 years this summer and I can say without a doubt I made the right decision.

Post # 10
Member
790 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
lilymay31 :  Congrats bee! My hubs confessed around 6 months in that he wanted to propose, but that he would wait til a year because he thought it would appear too soon to other people. I agreed. He proposed on our one year anniversary. Sometimes, you just know 🙂

Post # 11
Member
13567 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Sometimes it works out. That doesn’t mean it’s smart as a rule. You really don’t know someone after six months.  Especially with someone much older and previously married, personally I’d want to know exactly what I was getting into. Some women overcompensate in these situations and go from the frying pan into the fire. 

OP I really do wish you the best. 

Post # 12
Member
522 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
lilymay31 :  Do you feel you would’ve been able to leave if you hadn’t had your parents to fall back on? Asking because many people don’t have that safety net and when they are financially dependent they truly feel they have nowhere to go so they stay. I do hope you are able to be financially independent from your now fiancé, just so you don’t have to be in that position again and can fully enjoy your relationship without any financial necessity to continue it. 

Post # 13
Member
3058 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

View original reply
lilymay31 :  when you know,  you know, congrats!!.  What ever happened with the ex, did he try to get you to stay,  make more false promises? Is he involved with anyone else? 

Post # 14
Member
5730 posts
Bee Keeper

The older younger, the more you know yourself. A 6 month engagement from a 42 year old perspective isn’t that quick. And I was engaged at 6 months. Nearly all the couples we know were sure they wanted to be together early in their relationship. Does that mean everyone should get engaged by 6 months? Of course not. But by the same token being engaged at 6 months does not mean the union will fail. The marriages i knew that failed were people who had dated years. 

OP I’m glad things have worked out so well for you!  Thanks for coming back to tell us.

Post # 15
Member
727 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - Farm

View original reply
lilymay31 :  Congratulations bee, my husband knew at 6 months that he was going to propose marriage. We had discussions early in the relationship about what we wanted as well as other things.  Then he propose after a year of us dating. We are both are older as well. We were in our late 30s when we met. We were married after 3 years of being together. Best of luck to you. 

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