- 9 years ago
- Wedding: November 2011
I am going to post a budget recap soon, as I think we had an unusual budget. We didn’t go high end for anything…. but somehow ended up spending $17,000. We have no pictures of the reception yet, but just wanted to post my favorites of the wedding itself.
With a budget of $17,000, you’d think we would have fit in an awesome photographer. However, even with no decor and DIY Costco flowers, somehow we spent ALL of that money on food and liquor (no open bar, either). And my dress was only $500. Where did the money go? Who knows, I’ll try and figure it out in the budget recap.
Anyways, I’m doing a huge shout-out here to any diagnosed anxiety-panic brides. I take Lexapro every day to control my general anxiety and Ativan for panic attacks. Needless to say, I was TERRIFIED for the wedding day. I hate hate hate being the centre of attention in any way. I get debilitating panic attacks any time I feel the need to do something I can’t get out of. This day was no exception. While I am fairly normal after taking Ativan, I didn’t want to have to do it for the wedding day. However, by the time I was getting my hair done at noon (wedding at 4:30pm), my stomach and nerves started acting up so much that I took an Ativan. Be it known, I had a surprise bridal shower and had such a bad panic attack that I had to sit out half my bridal shower laying on my sisters bed upstairs and ignoring all my guests… wow. Embarrassing. Anyways, Ativan seemed the only real solution for the wedding.
Do I wish I hadn’t? In some ways, yes. But mostly, no. I took pictures and didn’t feel self conscious. I walked down the aisle and felt great and beautiful. I didn’t worry one bit. For that, it was a godsend. However, by reception time I had forgotten I had taken a pill and drank the way I normally would for a mild night out… WRONG!! I accidentally got WASTED at my own wedding. Oops… last thing I wanted to happen. Everyone was great and understanding though, and I had an amazing time on the dance floor. Maybe most people didn’t notice. If I could change a single thing about the wedding, I would have drank less, just so I could remain semi-lucid on a day that makes lucidity hard enough.
Everyone says the wedding day goes way too fast, and I expected that. However, I didn’t expect it to go SO fast that I forgot to look around. I have no idea what our food tasted like, what our venue really looked like, etc. If I could do it over again, I would simply LOOK AROUND. For real. Don’t forget. Just take a look around and enjoy.
To sum it up, I wasn’t excited for our wedding (I was excited to marry my husband, just not for the wedding). But you know what? Extreme anxiety and all, I worried far more than I had to. I was so scared for the wedding day. And now, I would do it all again. And I would do it differently. I wouldn’t worry about anything. It’s not worth it…. enjoy the day for the amazingly cool thing it is. There was seriously nothing to be anxious about… Just enjoy! Anyways, pictures:
PS. We couldn’t afford even a low-end photographer in our city ($1000-1500, SUPER low end). However, we have a friend who went to school for photography but had never photographed a wedding before… but we liked his work. I was sooooo nervous about our photos. I didn’t want unprofessional photos, but I also didn’t want super predictable photos… we wanted different photos. And we simply couldn’t afford anything more. WOW. Our guy was amazing. We got some regular ‘wedding’ shots, but made sure to take photos at our first home we bought though, (that we live in now) as well as other places in our community. Couldn’t recommend our photographer more to anyone in the Calgary area that wants personalized shots.