(Closed) 13 yr relationship ended 6 weeks ago. Met a great man 2 weejs am

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: How many people did you date ( after your relationship ended before you found your SO?
  • Post # 31
    Member
    441 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

     

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    countingstars :  take it slow. Ease into it. There’s a lot of definitive statements you make about him having only known him for a few months. Granted, I am one of those people who fell quite quickly for my Fiance, but I am still learning stuff about him just over a year and a half in. 

    The gay comment sounds odd, even if he means it as a joke. I also don’t know why you would have to ask him if he was homophobic or transphobic. Like PPs have said, his being accepting is not a measure of being a stellar human being, that’s just common decency. 

    Post # 32
    Member
    1088 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

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    countingstars :  I read it as a joke.

    Ignore the haters and have fun!

    Post # 33
    Member
    3231 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

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    karen12 :  what does that have to do with the gay comment? 

    Post # 34
    Member
    1167 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

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    carolinabelle :  Not the gay comment, just all of the negativity in general. 

    Post # 35
    Member
    3231 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

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    karen12 :  “The gay comment, I thought, was funny. Keep in mind that the Bees are often a privileged subset of society”

    Post # 36
    Member
    1167 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

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    carolinabelle :  Yes, and then the next sentence in the same paragraph is about how everyone who knows my Darling Husband also say he’s the greatest guy.  I put more than one point in the same paragraph. 

    Post # 37
    Member
    5891 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: July 2018

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    karen12 :  The gay comment, I thought, was funny. Keep in mind that the Bees are often a privileged subset of society so take that with a grain of salt. 

    Hmm. I don’t even know what you’re trying to imply here. Firstly all bees are privileged?  There’s a huge range of people on here, and apparently only privileged people don’t expect a pat on the back for not being a bigot? And that’s a bad thing?

    Post # 38
    Member
    10226 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

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    karen12 :  I’m having a hard time understanding what you’re trying to say about the bees. There are a lot of women here who are lower to middle class who didn’t have expensive weddings and don’t have 1.5 ct diamond rings. There are all different races, cultures, socioeconmic status from what i’ve seen in my few years here.

    Never the less, to OP, you don’t know this guy. You literally don’t know him. Now, i’m not saying that to be mean, but its the truth and its something most of us go through when we start seeing someone new. In the beginning all you see is how wonderful they are, how perfect for you. It takes some real time to begin to see the real person behind the rose colored glasses and start to see the flaws and annoying quirks.

    So, i’m not saying you shouldn’t date him or whatever. I’m just saying you need to take it slow and spend some time really getting to know this guy before you pin all your hopes and dreams and future on him or else its going to be a recipe for heartbreak.

    Post # 39
    Member
    1167 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

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    zzar45 :  You’re right.  What i should have said is that the Bees take themselves way too seriously and are seeing racist/homophobic conspiracies under every rock.  Better?

    Post # 40
    Member
    6880 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2016

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    shyqueen12 :  “There’s a lot of definitive statements you make about him having only known him for a few months.”

    Agreed. 

    OP, I’m not saying this guy isn’t all those things, but half the stuff you listed you can’t possibly know yet.

    “he’s very honest and says the truth” You literally have no way of knowing this. I’m sure with your liar ex it seemed like that at first too. You didn’t fall for him because he was such an obvious, constant liar. 

    I’m not saying dump this guy or anything. He could be great for you! Just take it slow.

    Post # 42
    Member
    2513 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    The things I like about him:

    he’s very honest and says the truth whether he knows it isn’t what I’d want to hear or not (my ex was a huge liar) – you don’t know him well enough to determine if he’s an honest person

    Everyone I’ve met who knows him says he’s one of the best guys they know. He’s caring and generous and well respected by others. – they don’t know him well enough after only a few weeks to make this determination

    He tells me what he’s thinking or feeling. He isn’t calculated in what he says, like he’s trying to impress me. That’s what humans usually do

    He’s funny. So am i

    He is very accepting of other people. Well, i’d assume this is a quality a lot of people possess.

    He’s close to his family. He makes homemade pickles with his mother and makes his late meme’s recipes. That’s a good quality, but as with the others it’s something that is common and you don’t know the interworkings of his family relationships yet. Just because he makes meme’s recipe doesn’t mean he’s family oriented. 

    He is a hard worker and is responsible. ok

    He thinks I’m gorgeous and he’s very lucky. He said, “I can’t believe you like me.” It was pretty cute. and he’s very lucky? I don’t get it.

    He has a lot of interests and hobbies and close friends. So do most. 

     

    My intent is to prove to you that I could fill that out about people I don’t even know. I would actually say almost all of those answers about slomotion, we’ve never met and all I know is her posts on the boards.

     He sounds like he could be a decent guy, but you also sound obsessed. Chill out, let the relationship progess, don’t rush into anything. 

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