(Closed) $150 on a bridesmaid dress plus hotel and airfare for 3 days. FI is not happy

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I don’t think $150 is too crazy for a dress. I would try to separate the issues.

Can you go and Fiance and Dirty Delete stay behind? That would save a lot on airfare. Is there another Bridesmaid or Best Man or friend you can stay with if it is just you? Is there an Amtrak that would be cheaper than a plane ticket?

Post # 4
Member
4035 posts
Honey bee

@cherryblossomlove:  That is a tough situation, I too am in a similar predicament trying to pay for being a bridesmaid and for my own wedding.

It’s about 13 hours (I google mapped it) from where you are to Denver, any way you would consider driving? That would save a lot of money and allow all of you to go. Also, you CAN find nice hotels in Denver for less than $96 a night (look at hotels.com). If you drive, then you won’t have to worry about a shuttle service.

Maybe then you could afford to fly out for the bachelorette party….

ETA: I did a search and found the Courtyard Marriott in July for around $63 a night. It got great reviews and is in a good part of Denver.

http://www.hotels.com/hotel/details.html?pa=7&pn=1&ps=7&tab=description&destinationId=1440421&searchDestination=Denver&hotelId=169128&arrivalDate=07-20-13&departureDate=07-22-13&rooms%5B0%5D.numberOfAdults=2&roomno=1&validate=false&previousDateful=false&reviewOrder=date_newest_first

Post # 8
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I dunno, that all seems fairly reasonable/standard for being part of a bridal party.  I would probably pass on the bachelorette as well.  I think the bride needs to understand that out of town guests can’t necessarily travel out twice, so they need to make concessions such as doing it just a few days before the wedding if it’s really important that you’re there.  That’s what the wedding I was Maid/Matron of Honor for did.  Bachelorette was Thursday, wedding was Saturday since all the BM’s were out of town.

Post # 10
Member
8696 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@NAvery:  I agree that I dont think $150 is too much.

@cherryblossomlove:  I would leave Fiance and Dirty Delete home and maybe offer to reimburse for the plate since she already paid. I find it kind of crazy that she already paid for people and it’s only JANUARY. That seems weird…..

I dont know why you didnt just outright tell her all of this is out of your budget. I got ALL my BMs input on everything regarding costs, b party, etc. I dont understand people that dont if they are real friends….

Post # 11
Member
2425 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Unfortunately, being a bridesmaid is a big financial committment. I spent almost $1K at a wedding I was in last year once you included dress, make-up, hotel, flights, gifts, etc. And $150 really isn’t too bad for a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress. I tried really really hard to find a dress $150 or less for my wedding, but the dresses I really love all wound up being close to $160-180. 

If you really can’t afford it you need to cut all the non-essentials. Don’t go to the bachelorette party. Don’t get your hair done (if you can’t do an updo just maybe put it half up and curl it, or even a simple curled poneytail can look really elegant if done correctly). And how expensive are flights? Would it be cheaper to drive? It’s much longer and not as comfortable, but if driving is cheaper you may want to look into it, Denver isn’t too far from Phoenix (relatively speaking). 

The ivory shoes with a long dress seems weird to me, is there any way you can convincer her to go for black shoes since they won’t be visible? Because then you probably have a pair that you can wear. 

Post # 13
Member
7758 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Skip the bachelorette party, especially since you don’t know anyone except the bride. Any sensible bride would understand if an interstate girl can’t make it to the bachelorette party.

But the wedding itself… you must have expected it’d be more or less that when you accepted to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. The only part I don’t understand is why it’s 3 days. Why not 2. (i.e. assuming it’s a Saturday wedding, fly in Friday, stay Friday and Saturday nights, fly out Sunday).

Post # 14
Member
4035 posts
Honey bee

@cherryblossomlove:  Well honestly, it looks like your Fiance has made up his mind. If he wants to go and does not want to drive, then it looks like you two will have to pay for flights/hotel. You can still save on the hotel potentially, but if he is unwillingly to be flexible, then you may have to decide to not go at all 🙁

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