(Closed) 18 and getting married in a year. Comments?

posted 9 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 19
Member
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

OK just a heads up people on here can be real freakin mean! Im 18 and getting married and other bees ripped me a new butthole. I say GO FOR IT!

I love the fact that your in love and know what you want at your age. POWER TO US!!!!

i wish you the best of luck and many years of happiness girl!

Post # 20
Member
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I just turned 21, have been with my Fiance for four years, am getting married in nine months, and I *still* got the ‘too young’ comments from my *extended* family, though they’re sure I’m not pregnant- but both my FI’s and my parents have been very excited and supportive.

That being said, we are waiting several years for babies. One of the best ways to make sure that you have a hard time ‘getting ahead’ financially is to have kids too young. So invest in some good birth control! πŸ˜‰

Congrats on your engagement! The fact that you are already so on top of your education signals to me that you’re probably mature enough to make it work- just make sure your Fiance is, too! I love my Fiance with all my heart, but I am glad that he had those couple of extra years to mature and really become a man.

I find that often the negativity stems from insecure/unhappy people projecting their OWN disappointments/bitterness onto you- in my family, the vast majority of the ‘but they’re too young’ comments came from family members who had one (or more!) failed marriages, or who have lifestyles that I DO NOT want to emulate AT ALL.

Just blow off the negativity- getting defensive about the rude comments will just strengthen their opinions that you’re not ready, whether it’s true or not.

Post # 21
Member
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We are 22 and we get plenty of “too young” comments, but they are usually from people who don’t know us well. We have been together for 6 years, and our families are all for it. However, we know some people from further north who had quite a few strong opinions- it’s just a regional thing a lot of times.

Anyway, when we were your age we were way ready to get married. We’ve been ready since we were 17! And we feel even more strongly about each other now. So I’m all for believing that young couples can know what they want. My younger self would kill me, but I’m glad we waited (I wanted to get married freshman year of college). It’s nice knowing that we have school done with and have careers, but I know we would have been just fine had we gotten married earlier. And sounds like you’ll almost be done so it won’t be much different. Congrats!

Post # 22
Member
417 posts
Helper bee

Congratulations on getting married! People oftentimes don’t know their boundaries (and might be jealous). You are so lucky to have found the guy you want to spend the rest of you life with so early! And, you are also mentally mature enough to think about marriage. I’m 22, and whenever the mister jokingly calls me wife / wifey … it makes me giggle because I can’t imagine being someone’s wife. But, I digress. You could be mature and [1] let these comments roll of your back. Or, [2] you could have a snarky response prepared. Something sarcastic along the lines of “Oh, I already have my advance from MTV for 16 and Pregnant” would be sufficient. Although, on second thought, that may be TOO snarky.

Just keep your head up! You should be floating on Cloud 9. Ignore the mean people!

Post # 23
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2005

Good for you waiting until marriage. My boyfriend and I made the same decision when we were younger that that wasn’t something we wanted to do before we are married.

Anyway, they don’t matter just be happy with him =] 

As long as you both are financially stable and on your way to a good career I say go for it. <3

Post # 24
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My parents got married when they were 18 and my mom was pregnant. They are still happily together. 

My fiance’s parents got married when they were closer to 30 and divorced a few years into it.

If its right, it’s right, and if it’s not, it’s not, no matter what your age! 

Post # 25
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

lol..i’m only laughing becuase i can relate to you but i’m already married. Till this day I get people looking at me weird and start starring at me when I say “my husband” lol it’s quite funny. I used to have that nervous feeling when we were engaged because some ppl didn’t approve & i was always worried about what someone would say to me or even him. but now were happily married and that nervous feeling is completely GONE. πŸ™‚

Post # 26
Member
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

not to be mean or snarky, speaking from personal experience here – If i were you, i would wait. Not because of your age, age has nothing to do with it.. Its how long you have been with him. Before you marry him, you need to really know him inside and out. see him when he is mad, sad, upset, depressed, drunk, and perfectly content. That is when his true colors come out. After you see him like that, if you still feel the way you do now, then marry him.

Post # 27
Member
327 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
@FluffysMama:  How is two years not a long time? and the second comment I’d like to add to that is you don’t know how long she’s known him. I’d known my man for 6 years before I went out with him and we’re only going on 2 1/2 years. So thats an odd thing to base your judgement on imo, seeing as shes been wih him for 2 years, thats longer then you think it is when the time goes so fast. Its not like shes known/dated him fom only 1 to 6 months.

Also speaking from personal experience I have definetly seen my man ‘When he is mad, sad, upset, depressed, drunk, and perfectly content.‘ In your personal experience you hadn’t seen yours like that in two years?

 

Post # 28
Member
221 posts
Helper bee

@swimchica:  I think it’s great you’re going to have a education. You must be smart getting your bachelors early. That’s awesome! I have a friend who is 19 and dropped out of college to get married and it makes me sad. People are always going to comment you just have to prove them wrong.

Post # 29
Member
2107 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Congrats on the engagement! πŸ™‚ When you know, you know. My SO and I have been together since I was 15 (he was 16) and if we weren’t current long distance for college (20 and 21 now), we very well may have already been married. You guys have been together long enough to know, and people who refuse to look past your age are being close minded. We aren’t engaged yet, but we STILL get the “too young” comments just for simply staying together so long. Just shows that once people hear an age, they tend to get hung up on it.

Closed minded people will be closed minded despite everything. I say its best to completely ignore them/their comments. If they are someone who matters to you, you can defend your relationship, but don’t let them upset you.

This is one of the happiest times of your life- don’t let other people bring you down!

Post # 30
Member
327 posts
Helper bee

@swimchica:  I forgot where I read/heard this, but, I’ve always prefered the saying “When you know you want to spend forever with someone, you want forever to start as soon as possible.”

 Tell your haters that you didn’t want to waste your time or your heartache on going through the cycles of dating just for the sake of it, that you and your man were brought together for a reason and you intend on marrying, that if they don’t agree no problem, its not their marriage :).

 

 

Post # 31
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

why wait? good for you!

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