(Closed) 18 and getting married in a year. Comments?

posted 7 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 47
Member
1136 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

it is a shame that people don’t look at the individual or couple when passing their judgements. you say you are mature, been together for two years. This is something you both want, i am not one for no sex before marriage i have a child out of wedlock so i can’t really say much about that. you are completing your education too. i think that spend your life entirely with one person is a wonderful thing to do, i unfortunately made some bad judgements on men in the past to only find mr right 4 years ago (i’m 28) 

i know couples much older that you and your Fi who, dropped out of school have no jobs, are the most immature people i have met and are completely self destructive in their marriage. i think you just need to rise above any comments you receive. 

 

Post # 48
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

Eh, I think you’re too young. But that doesn’t mean you won’t make it. My sister was your age when she got married. Ten years later, they’re still going strong. You just have to make sure that as you’re growing up (and when you’re 18 you still have growing up to do, I don’t care who you are) you aren’t at the same time growing apart. You have to grow together. But if you can, it’ll be a hell of a ride, and your reward will be getting all those extra years with the love of your life.

Haters gonna hate. If you know in your heart of hearts that this is what you want, and you’re willing to work harder for it than you ever have for anything in your life, and he feels the same way….go for it. True love is incredibly rare.

Post # 49
Member
1329 posts
Bumble bee

If your family gives you a hard time, elope.

Read lots of marriage books, and know and accept that you and your Fiance will change completely eery 10 years or so. So just be prepared for that and love each other just as much as you do now.

I think the biggest misconception of young brides (myself included when I got married at 21) is that you are ready for when your partner changes and you don’t, and/or vice-versa.  Or if one matures or grows at a different pace. That seems to be the biggest challenge in your early 20’s and being married…things are happening so fast, just as long as you both stick together through it, you will be fine.

Congrats!

Post # 50
Member
14913 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Irish-bride:  I would love to see the OP come back here in 10 years time and say whether or not she still loves him whether she still has the same ideas about marriage that she had back then.

Exactly.  There was a thread here a while back where encore brides shared their story about age and what not during their first marriage.. not surprising many were married young and divorced shortly after.  Sorry, but there will be comments since the stats are against you.  I know that has nothing to do with you as an individual couple, and its more than possible you are the minority that makes it and has a long wonderful marriage… but as long as teh stats are against you, many people will automatically think the worst.

Post # 51
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m in the same boat as you.  It’s really cliche, but age really doesn’t matter.  We’ve been together for four years, never broken up, and by the time the wedding comes around, we’ll be 19 and will have been together for 5 1/2.  He has a steady job and I’m a freelance writer.  We’re both in school.  I think some people are just really ignorant and think that age equals maturity.  

Post # 52
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

As long as you both understand what the commitment of marriage means and are willing to spend the rest of your lives laughing, loving, and living together than no one can tell you that you need to date other people. Sometimes couples just know and are meant to be together! I have been with my fiance since the 10th grade and if I had a penny for every time someone told me there were other fish in the sea, I’d be rich! If you and your fiance are mature enough to take this next important and final step in your relationship, then no one’s comments should matter. You are an adult at 18, and can make that decision. It all depends upon the situation and the couple. My suggestions would just be: 1) live together, 2) be apart for more than 6 months, and 3) make sure your families have met and are cordial. Congrats! xo

Post # 53
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I’m 18 and my Fiance is 18. We will both be 19 when we get married. We will be at the very beginning of college so it is going to be very difficult. We dont really have everything figured out yet. We get so many negative comments about our age, mainly from his side of the family. My family is just concerned on the financial part of us living on our ow, which I am too.

Post # 54
Member
2586 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Just keep in mind, depending on who the comments are coming from, they may not be “judging” you at all.  They are providing you with advice  – with the best of intentions – to avoid their own past mistakes, and because the significant majority of couples who marry at your age end up divorced. Can’t really argue that – the odds are against you.  My dad got married at 19, and divorced at 22. Because of that, he never finished school, traveled, etc. He missed out on a lot of living, and its his biggest regret in life to this day.  He would have been heartbroken to see me do the same thing, and it wouldn’t be because he was “judgemental” or a “hater”.  Far from it.

Post # 55
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think that it may be especially hard for you to hear these critiques BECAUSE of your age. You are still seen as a child by many people and thus they treat you like a child (give unsoliticed and rude advice) and you have probably been taught to respect adults and that you are not yet one of them.

Try to think about being an equal to the person saying it- that doesn’t mean yuo should be nasty, but I had a friend tell me I was too young (I’m 26) and I told her “that is completely innapropriate to say” and that was the end of it.

 

Post # 56
Member
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Oh my gosh! This thread is what i needed to read a LONG time ago!! I am 19 Fiance is 20. We have known eachother since i was 14. We’ve dated on and off for 5 years. On (nonstop) for 2 1/2 years. We knew we wanted to spend our life together. Why not start now? The most common thing I get asked is, “are you sure you want to do this?” Yes. I have had over a year and a half since the wedding planning started. We have been living together for 8 months now. We are doing A-OKAY! I understand people are worried about us and love us… but why cant they be happy for us?

 

Let me ask you this… Lets say in ten years from now we split up (I pray this never happens) did I “waste” any time? No. Absoutly not. I love spending time with my Fiance, I love being with him. So god forbid something happens and we part ways.. nothing is “wasted” We would have had a great life together and I would have enjoyed being with him.

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