(Closed) 18 days away and only 1/4 of people have responded….

posted 5 years ago in Logistics
Post # 2
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Am I reading this right and your RSVP date is January 30th? If so, I wouldn’t assume anything at this point… Ideally, you would have a larger cushion between the RSVP deadline and when you need to let your venue know final numbers as it’s kind of rude to nag people about attendance before the date you’ve given them. If your RSVP date is January 30th and you need final numbers by the 1st, I would start following up with people the last week of January with a “gentle reminder”. Anything earlier than that doesn’t make sense to me since you gave them the whole month to reply.

If I’m reading this wrong and your RSVP date was DECEMBER 30th – my guess is people got super busy during the holidays and that’s far out to RSVP for a March wedding! I would just dig out the list and go in alphabetical order or something. Definitely call or text! The worst they can say is “no, I’m not coming” 🙂 

Post # 3
1124 posts
Bumble bee

A lot of people probably won’t reply until the last minute. Or they’ll forget, and in that case I would wait until the 28th or 29th. Call and then you can just ask “Hey a few people didn’t receive their invitations- did you get yours?” or something like that. If they can’t give you an answer yet, let them know the venue needs numbers and unfortunately you can’t wait any longer. 

Post # 5
586 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

If your cut off date is the 30th then you may not hear from a lot of people for another week or so. However, that only leaves 2 days for you to track people down before your numbers are due. I would give it a little more time if you can. When you do call people, if it’s before the deadline, I would definitely acknowledge that so people don’t go on the defense about being called when they have not missed the deadline yet.

Edit: a couple of others responded while I was typing :). I agree – wait until as late as possible. I would also think about how easy it is to get in touch with the people still left. If it’s someone you know you could likely get in touch with within a few hours (a friend or coworker for example) then you can wait longer than someone that you might not be able to get in touch with for a day or two if you have to leave a message or don’t know their number (ex. an extended family member or friend of a relative). For those you are less confident about getting in touch with quickly you might want to start with first, a day or two before the others.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 10 months ago by  penguinwapi.
Post # 6
47439 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
oreopaloozamrs:  I don’t get your math. If you invited 100 and 40 have responded, you have responses from almost 1/2 not 1/4.

If you have to notify the venue by Feb 1st, it would have been better to choose an earlier rsvp date, something around Jan 20, to give you time to make those phone calls/texts/emails.

Technically no one is late with their rsvp until after Jan 30, by which time it will be amost too late for you to contact the non responders. In your case, I would start calling about the 23rd and apologize to your guests for giving them the wrong rsvp date.

Do not assume anyone is, or is not coming. You may end up having to set up extra seats at the last minute or paying for meals for guests who are no-shows.

If you can speak with someone directly tell them you need a yes or no for the venue. If you have to leave a mssage, tell them “I am sorry but we gave you the wrong rsvp date. Because of my error, I can’t wait until the 30th to recieve your rsvp. If I don’t hear back from you by tomorrow, we will have to assume you are unable to attend and we will miss you at the wedding.”  If you have to leave a message, you need to give them an opportunity to get back to you.

In the meantime, make sure you have contact information (other than mailing addresses- phone# or email) for all your guests.

Post # 9
4239 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Two weeks before my deadline I put a simple social media status similar to:  “*insert mandatory “get your RSVP’s in” status here*”  Straightforward and to the point.  A ton of RSVP’s flowed in after that.  I disagree with others and I think you SHOULD start reaching out to people now.  The reason being you have very limited wiggle room.  Start hounding people, especially those who you know take a long time to respond to stuff.  I emailed and messaged people to get their answers, but calling of course is great too!  RSVP’s drove me batty so I feel your pain!

Post # 11
320 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

View original reply
oreopaloozamrs:  I wouldn’t start making phone calls just yet. Maybe the wednesday before it’s due. Keep in mind that some people may not even mail their RSVPs until the 30th! Unfortunately I think we all get in this mind set that people would start responding almost immediately (because who doesn’t want to come to our wedding!?) and it makes us antsy waiting for responses.

Our final numbers are due today (10 days before the wedding) and we made our RSVP date Dec 20th so we could enjoy the holidays and have plenty of time to start working on numbers. There were still some people I was having to track down (even up until yesterday!) or I didn’t hear anything at all. 

Post # 12
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

Why does your venue require final numbers almost two months out from your wedding? I would speak to your venue about a more appropriate timelime. 

We have been asked to provide an indication of numbers a month out, with a final confirmation a week before the wedding. 

Post # 13
9534 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i needed to let my venue know the final headcount 1 week before my event.  it is crazy that your venue needs to know almost 2 months in advance.


Post # 14
4888 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

View original reply
oreopaloozamrs:  Uh, yeah… havigb teh RSVP cut off time and the date in which you need to tell your venue numbers is TOO close. Our RSVP deadline was 3 weeks before the venue needed numbers, which allowed for us to be able to reach out to thoise we hadn’t heard of in between and not feel like harassing to get an answer. A lot of people may not send it back UNTIL the 30th!

And as other PP have said… our venue needed numbers a week before, not 2 months. That sounds crazy. Especially if it’s only 100 people max, that’s not much to plan for and they can easily order the food they need in March and be OK.

Post # 15
622 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

I would double-check with your venue/contract about the date they need a headcount. My wedding is March 19th and they need a headcount by March 7th. I sent half of the invites out last week and half this past monday, but I noticed that I forgot to put an RSVP by date on the invites! Whoops! We invited 150 and so far I have responses from about 45 people. I’m going to start nagging people the last week of Feb because I know there will be people who won’t respond unless I ask.

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