(Closed) 18 yr old flower girl???

posted 5 years ago in Ceremony
  • poll: Should she be?

    Yes, she's not too old

    No, she's too old at 18

  • Post # 2
    1992 posts
    Buzzing bee

    You don’t really need a flower girl, and I doubt a legally adult teen would feel honored or excited about filling that role. If you desperately want someone to sprinkle flower petals on the aisle, you can ask a bridesmaid or two to do it during the procession.

    Post # 3
    2063 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    There’s no rule as to who can be what in a wedding party; the wedding gods will not come down and smote you if you have an 18-year-old flower girl. Have an 85-year-old flower girl for all I care. Having said that, if you want to do it, you have to be gusto about it because it will probably seem a bit odd to everyone familiar with flower girls as younger children–a college freshman tossing rose petals down the aisle before the bride? And have you considered that an 18yo might not even WANT to do that? If you do decide to do this, you might have to give her a different title (“flower maid?”–I dunno) because “girl” to me means definitely someone under 18. 

    But I wouldn’t make an 18-year-old have this role just because you don’t know any younger girls. That’s kind of nuts to me–that’s like saying you don’t have any close girlfriends so you’re having your work colleagues be bridesmaids for the sake of having bridesmaids. Just don’t have a flower girl. 

    Post # 4
    196 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    There’s no set rule that a flower girl needs to be a certain age. It’s your wedding and you can arrange it any way you want. I have a co worker who had her two grandmothers as the flower girls when she got married and nobody had a problem with it. I myself thought it was a cute idea. I would say if she’s comfortable doing it then go for it. Keep it low pressure though. Don’t push her into anything she’s not completely comfortable doing. 

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 5 months ago by skier11.
    Post # 5
    814 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    Agree with PP, you don’t need a flower girl. We had our wedding party, but no ring bearer or flower girl. We actually have a ton of kids in our families, we just didn’t want to do it.

    I was a flower girl when I was 11, and still felt embarrassed about it at that age. If someone had asked me when I was 18, I would have laughed uncomfortably and said no.

    Post # 6
    1974 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2019

    I’ve heard of adult flower girls before and I think it’s pretty cool if someone actually wants to be a flower girl. However, an 18 year old is an adult but also a teenager and if you’re not close to her then she may be very insulted by you asking. You don’t really NEED a flower girl, so finding someone who will fit the bill is almost like using them as an object. I think you need to think this through thoroughly before asking.

    Post # 7
    2156 posts
    Buzzing bee

    View original reply
    plummerjess: unless she’s a total goofball who would think it’s funny/quirky to be and 18 year old flower girl (which would not be a girl, either, but a woman) then 18 is too old. 10 seems to be about the average cut off for “flower girl” – it’s a juvenille role made to help include young children. if you want to involve her, you can do Jr. Bridesmaid (though at 18 she feels too old for that, as she’s legally an adult and Jr. Bridesmaid feels very much like a tween role), or have her do a reading or something

    Post # 8
    450 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    I second that you dont need a flowergirl… I personally find It hilarious and adorable when people have their dog as the flowergirl. You could do that if you have a dog and have your daughter walk with the dog, lol. 

    Post # 9
    330 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    We didn’t have a flower girl but had a ring bearer. I personal opinion that age is too old for that role. If you want to include her somehow,  how about a reading (if you are having readings)

    Post # 10
    162 posts
    Blushing bee

    At the age of 18, I was a bridesmaid in my aunt’s wedding. Had she asked me to be her flower girl I would have probably rolled my eyes so hard they would have gotten stuck in my head LOL

    You may feel like you “need” a flower girl but keep in mind an 18 yr old might feel like they “need” not be one. 

    Post # 11
    13558 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    No one needs a flower girl. They are optional. 

    A flower girl is usually around 3-7 years old. If you are asking seriously, I think 18 year old flower girl just looks like a mockery of tradition.  And if you mean it as a joke, I don’t really think a wedding is the time or place for humor that may not go over as well as you think it will.  


    Post # 12
    5966 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I don’t think I would have reacted well at 18 if my future step mother asked me to be a flower girl. Why not have her just stand on your FI’s side?

    Post # 13
    2343 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    You don’t need a flower girl. Honestly, if I was asked to be a flower girl at 18 I would have been pretty offended – 18 year olds like to think they’re adults and be treated as such, so giving them a “little kid” role is probably not going to go down well.

    Post # 14
    1629 posts
    Bumble bee

    You don’t need a flower girl. And one that is 18 years old would probably look a little ridiculous. I’d think the flower girl age cutoff would be puberty. After that, they are a junior bridesmaid, or, at 18, I’d say just plain old bridesmaid. 

    Post # 15
    1012 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    your wedding isn’t til 2018… maybe someone will have had a baby by then and you can use her haha.

    Plus, that girl wouldn’t be a flower girl. She would be a “flower woman.” 

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