(Closed) 19 days to decided if we’re going through with this wedding!

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
13070 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, and I have no advice for you.  Just wanted to say I’m sending good vibes your way and hope you come to a decision that you can be at peace with. 

Post # 4
Member
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I am sorry you are having to make this desicion. I would just talk it over with the most important family members: Fiance, parents, and siblings and see what their imput is. I wish I could just tell you what to do, but I can’t. I say go with your gut and do what you feel is right. If it were me I would cancel the big wedding and just have a small intimate affair at home with my close family & friends. Because I know that all I want is to marry the man I love and celebrate with the family I love. You can always have a reception at a later date. I think the most importand thing would be for your dad to be able to walk you down the aisle. I am sure it means the world to him and you would always have that memory of the two of you. You and your family are in my prayers. 

Post # 6
Member
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@sienna76:  yes I know what you mean. I agree that throwing a party would be a waste of money of they aren’t into it. That could be the deciding factor then. If they won’t be into it and you two just want to celebrate together maybe eloping is the way to go. 

Post # 7
Member
5881 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

What about a home town elopement? A small courthouse wedding with just close family and friends and a dinner at a restaurant afterward?

Post # 8
Member
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

How about planning a celebration reception for the original wedding date so you can have a big celebration, but you can have a small ceremony and honeymoon sooner.

Post # 11
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

 

I am sorry you are in this situation.  It sounds like from your post that you want to cancel and elope.  I think in your situation I would feel exactly the same.   The decider for me would be: if my Fiance was okay with it, and my family would be relieved – I would do it. 

I’ve been married twice before.  Had the whole kit and caboodle the first time (hated it) and slightly less the second time (FI managed to ruin it).  3rd time I’ll be getting what I want, which will be very low key.  So if you feel you won’t be sorry if you don’t get it this time, I’d trust that feeling. 

 

Post # 12
Member
5881 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

@sienna76:  We had a small wedding and a lunch reception, no dancing. Many people drove 8+hours or flew in. They aren’t there to be entertained, they are there to share your joyous day.

We did invite all the out of town guests to the Rehearsal Dinner (only a few people could make it) and then met up at an Irish Bar a few hours after the reception ended. It was super low key and everyone liked being able to hang out together. 

Post # 14
Member
784 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I had a courthouse wedding with my first wedding 10 years ago.  I don’t want to have any similarities this time.  I want it to be outside with mountains, so does Fiance.  I do know that much. 

 

Then do what you can with what circumstances you have. If this is what you both want out of your wedding, then you have to find a way to do it, or you will regret it… This is your last chance to get what you want… Is there a possibility of having this outdoor, mountainous wedding in the town where you dad is? If so, then maybe consider that… I really just want to send my sorrows for your situation =( Sending my love…

 

Maybe you could have a small ceremony with you dad in his hometown and do a one year renewal where you have the big fabulous mountainous wedding, also?

Post # 16
Member
784 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@sienna76:  It sounds like you need a good cry, a day at the salon and spa, and a large, nummy dinner with dessert. Pamper yourself girl, one cannot handle that much stress for very long without a breakdown… I am soo so so so so sorry =(

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