Post # 1
now I know it’s normal for a kid to favour one parent over the other. My daughter sees me more than her dad because he works full time so I appreciate she wants him to handle her when he’s around but she’s now got to the point that when he tries to hand her back to me she kicks off big time and yesterday she actually started hitting me whilst in the process of transfer
I feel like I must have failed her in some way for her to react this way
Has anyone else experienced this ?
Post # 2
Sounds pretty par for the course to me. Our 3 year old is still much more into my husband, while our 1 year old is totally into me. It ebbs and flows of course, but I would try not to take it personally. I found with our son, my husband is “more fun” (rough housing, playing, etc) since I’ve been pregnant for two of his 3 years (were about to have our 3rd) and he’s at an age where that is on the forefront of his mind. Of course, when he’s not feeling well and wants to snuggle, then he’s all me. I’m sure by next year, he’ll flop again. Good luck!
Post # 3
It’s the hitting part that gets to me the most ! cclarkrun1 :
Post # 4
It’s totally normal. Right now my 3 year old won’t let daddy do ANYTHING. She wouldn’t even give him a hug before we left daycare lol.
Post # 5
Normal. My son is a few months older and has swung both ways, hitting and wailing are often involved. It doesn’t feel good, but try not to worry. You haven’t done anything wrong.
Post # 6
londonchick : Mine’s 20 months and while he’s not hitting me, if dad’s around he’s definitely pretty pleased. Honestly she’s probably just a little bored with you. My son sees me a lot longer htan his dad as I wake him, take him to daycare, pick him up and am home two hours before dad. Frankly I’m not going to fuss about it when he wants dad to put him to bed or whatever. More power to him and more break to me! These days when dad gets home, he flips his lid if dad walks out the door again for a minute, just a sobbing little mess until he gets back. He’ll get over it though. Hitting (which he only tries feebly right now) results in one prompt to not hit and then a trip to his crib to calm down with no parent at all (but books and lambs).
Remember, she doesn’t dislike you, she just misses him. Take advantage while you can! Sorry hon, you’ll have to change that poopy diaper, she just doesn’t want me! Lol.
Post # 7
My 1 year old is in a major daddy phase, despite being with me all day every day. It’s just part of having a kid. They go through phases, it will pass.
Post # 8
My kid is not as old but we’ve found she has this reaction on Monday mornings when I go back to work and she has to go back to her grandparents during the day. She cries and whines and only wants me.
Then by the time I pick her up she doesn’t want to come to me and reaches out for her grandma!
Don’t take it personally, when baby is scared or sick they’ll want you above all else because you’re comfort to them.
Post # 9
londonchick : I have 2 girls, older will be 3 next week, younger is 16 months. The younger one is still 100% mommy’s girl, but the older one goes back and forth, and has had a few really strong daddy phases. For us, what helped is always making sure that you get to do the fun stuff with her just as much as dad. My older girl LOVES being read to at bedtime, it’s her favorite time of the day. We started taking turns who reads to her each night to make sure we both get that special time with her. When she’s in a daddy phase, she’ll scream that she wants daddy to read to her and I just say, “nope, it’s mommy’s night to read!” She might fuss a bit, but she’ll let me, and I make sure I cuddle and be silly with her and make the best of that time. Ensuring that both parents get an equal amount of those best times of the day helps the kids get close with both parents. It was hard when our second one was a newborn because I had to spend more time with the baby due to breastfeeding. So my older one got into a big daddy phase for a while, but it’s more equal now. It’s hard, but try not to take it personally!
The hitting I think you just deal with like a hitting phase in any toddler. Try not to react to it very strongly or she’ll notice that she gets that reaction and will do it more. If she’s hitting you while dad’s holding her, dad needs to just set her down, hold her hands and say, “we do not hit”. She shouldn’t get dad to hold her (what she wants) if she’s hitting.
Post # 10
My 14-month-old has always preferred daddy. It only gets to me when other moms say stuff like “omg I am Nellie’s most favoritest person in the whoooooold world, it’s sooooo magical. 😍😍😍” At all other times, I love it and wouldn’t have it any other way. Seeing the incredible bond they have and how LO just adores his daddy makes me so happy—they are two peas in a pod. Plus daddy’s always done all the diaper changes and pays the most attention to him, so it’s only fair. 🙈
Post # 11
Janet Lansbury has really great podcasts and articles on how to handle a child who is in phase of “rejecting” one parent. It helped us a lot!
Post # 12
londonchick : Please dont’ ever think you failed your child because she favors your husband more! Kids are fickle af. Both my children go in between loving me more and I can do no wrong to loving their father more. Honeslty it’s the flavor of the season. My son adores me 90% of the time can’t go anywhere without him. But if we’re in a new place, he wants daddy to hold him and protect him.
Post # 13
My son is 16 months and he goes back and forth. Usually he’s a total mama’s boy but some days all he wants is his dad. Of course it makes me a little sad those days he wants nothing to do with me, but I try not to take it personally.
As for the hitting, I think that’s also completely normal at this age. My son started hitting (not out of anger) around 15 months and we are constantly trying to redirect him. At first we’d try things like saying “we don’t hit,” but then we realized he didn’t understand what “don’t” meant and all he was hearing was “hit” so he kept doing it! So now if he starts hitting we redirect him by saying “do you want a high five?” and that seems to mostly work…for now.
He has started hitting a bit out of anger and when that happens we put him down on the floor and he can have his little mini-tantrum there. It fades after like 30 seconds because he honestly doesn’t even know why he’s upset. Afterwards we’ll ask him to tell us he’s sorry and he’ll give us a kiss.
Post # 14
If it makes you feel any better, I was a complete terror to my father when I was tiny. I didn’t show a bean-sized amount of love to him until I was around 3. All I wanted was my mom. I’m sure it upset him, but we are really close now, and I can’t imagine my life without him.
Children are odd.
Post # 15
Don’t get me wrong guys, if he’s around and she’s been her usual fan girl self I take full advantage of it and say “see ya” and go have a nice soak in the bath. But when she was hitting me yesterday when he tried to hand her back to me it did upset me! Up until that point I just chalked it to her being a kid and being aware that dad isn’t around as much as mum
she also refers to him as dada but to this day she still doesn’t call me mum, mama, mummy, bitch. Nothing !
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