(Closed) +1's..

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What should I do about this?
    Tell him he only gets 1 seat - end of question (put it down to venue capacity) : (36 votes)
    19 %
    Tell him the truth - never met this girl so no : (33 votes)
    17 %
    Just give in an extend a +1 (even though our budget is already stretched to the max) : (100 votes)
    53 %
    Give in and make him pay for his +1 : (20 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    979 posts
    Busy bee

    IDK. I think it’s petty. He comes stag, finds out someone else brought a +1…he’s gonna get pissed at you because he couldn’t bring his +1.  but that’s my opinion and thats the guilty kind of conscious I have.  But it’s your wedding. Talk to your Fiance and see what he has to say.   


    Post # 4
    6355 posts
    Bee Keeper

    His norm (like mine) is that +1s are always given, your norm is that they’re not. He’s trying to meet you in the middle rather than be immediately offended, you might want to do the same.

    Post # 5
    1548 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Personally, I think if anyone needs to travel to attend, they should be given a +1, whether or not you’ve met their SO. Yes, it was rude of him to ask, but it was a courtesy you should have extended to him from the beginning. 

    Post # 6
    259 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @Oxfordnerd:  Have you asked them how long they have been together? Maybe they have been dating for a while or live together?

    I don’t think he was “backing you into a corner.” It was probably an innocent request. Invitations do not explicitly say “Only you, no plus 1.” So he may not have been aware of general etiquette.

    The other day my Fiance received an invitation with only his name on it. We have been together for 11 years. We will be married by the time the wedding comes around. He politely asked the groom if I could attend as well. The groom said yes, it turns out the bride did not know my name and so she left it off. Simple as that.

    I would suggest cooling your jets. Talk to him and see where it goes. If you could squeeze her in, it could work out. Just because she is 1 person you don’t know doesn’t mean it is the end of the world. He may feel like he barely knows anyone there and would like have his girlfriend attend.

    If you absolutely cannot accomodate her, then be polite about informing him of that.

    ETA: The last option on the poll would be far ruder than what you think he is doing by the way. You should never consider having someone pay to attend your wedding. Never.

    Post # 7
    2183 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

    I would just let him know it’s a space issue, and you’ve only invited those really close to you.

    In other words, wow, how rude to assume anything. Just be quiet, eat your dinner, and enjoy the party with the rest of ’em.

    Post # 8
    3229 posts
    Sugar bee

    I don’t think you’re going to win here. He is going to be offended that others are given a +1 and not him. Wedding planning is so stressful! I am so glad we only have a few weeks to go!

    Post # 9
    3942 posts
    Honey bee

    I think it’s rude to expect him to travel a few hours to celebrate your love, while not allowing him to bring his girlfriend.

    Post # 10
    2295 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I am with the others, I think since he has to travel he should have a +1.

    Post # 11
    5475 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @AmyFarrahFowler:  Agreed.  Anyone who identifies themselves as being in a relationship should be allowed to bring their SO, and anyone who travels should definitely be given a +1 as well.

    Post # 13
    5423 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I don’t think what he did was as outrageous as you think.  I am with you tho.  We had a very big no stranger rule at our wedding.  If he is a very good friend then he should know other people there then?

    Post # 15
    3194 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I think the fact that he offered to pay for her plate is generous of him. Expecting him to travel alone is kind of a stretch. I’m inviting about 7 close friends from several hours away to mine without +1’s, but they’re all close friends with one another and are traveling together so they don’t mind (I checked). See what he’s willing to chip in, and if you can squeeze her at his table then do it. I don’t think it’s worth getting worked up over. 

    Post # 16
    3942 posts
    Honey bee

    @Oxfordnerd:  Ive never heard of the phrase ” no ring, no  bring”, but I would say in this day in age that is slightly outdated.

    My  husband and I owned a house together before I had a ring. We were living together after only a few months of dating, and it was serious from the beginning. Just because he’s not engaged to this girl doesnt mean she isnt important to him.

    The topic ‘+1's..’ is closed to new replies.

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