(Closed) +1s on save the dates?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: +1 on the save the date?
    address STD to the friend/family member, and add +1 on the invite : (13 votes)
    59 %
    it's OK not to have it on the STD, but it'd be better if it was : (6 votes)
    27 %
    you're not giving everyone a +1? Are you crazy???! : (3 votes)
    14 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    9056 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Nope, leave it off.  You want the person you know to save the date.  If they have a significant other that you know this far out that they would be attending, they should be invited specifically by name as well, not +1’d.

    They can wait till invites come out to know that they’ll be offered to bring a random date.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2058 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    If your guests are travelling, I think it’s nice to do the “and guest” on Save the Dates, that way people can make appropriate travel plans.  If they are local, you can add “and guest” on the invitations.

    Post # 5
    Member
    333 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    i personally dislike the impersonal feel of “and guest” on Save-The-Date Cards or invites, so i addressed my Save-The-Date Cards to “name & name”, since we are not inviting any plus ones that we do not know the name of. i think to avoid confusion/delayed drama it might be good to make it clear from the start who exactly is invited, so no one just presumes and causes trouble!

    Post # 6
    Member
    669 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    My wedding planner said you don’t have to put it on the save the dates, so I didn’t… will do on the invites and if anyone has a question now it’s fairly easy to take care of…

    Post # 8
    Member
    1697 posts
    Bumble bee

    Have you considered not sending mass-printed save-the-date requests at all? Over and over on these boards we read about brides who sent out save-the-dates and are now trying to figure out how to get around inviting everyone they mass-mailed. The traditional alternative is to write a personal note to the individual guests without whose presence your wedding would seem sad, letting them know of your plans. You can even use the notes selectively ask certain guests for the name and address of someone that they would like you to invite so that you can avoid having to send invitations with the impersonal “and Guest” on them.

     

    Post # 9
    Member
    458 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    When I was earlier in my relationship with my fiance, I very much appreciated it when it said his name or “and guest” on the Save the Date. I always have to travel, and it makes a difference if he’s invited or not, in that I may have to fly instead of drive, and if I should be booking a hotel or staying at a friends. If there’s an easy way to do it, I would, and I would add the person’s actual name (call or email to find out, if you have to).

    Also, I’d draw the line at high school cousins’ significant others. In most circumstances, they shouldn’t be attending.

    The topic ‘+1s on save the dates?’ is closed to new replies.

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