(Closed) 1st month's attempt at ttc and wondering if it'll ever happen

posted 6 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
8882 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Sorry about the BFN.  A couple of things..

It’s still too early, AF is due in a week. You could technically be pregnant and it’s too early to test. Don’t test until AF is due or late.

Also, this is very common for a lot of women, we tend to get our hopes up. The reality is that it’s only your 1st month trying. There’s only a 20% chance of pregnancy for even the most healthiest woman who is doing everything right.

I’m TTC and I’m guilty of this too. My best advice is to try not to pee on any sticks until AF is due or late.

Oh and come join us here on the TTC boards ๐Ÿ™‚


Post # 4
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I understand your worries and your fears. I know the uncertainty is frightening for me too. Sending positive thoughts your way.

Post # 5
4575 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@UK Bride:  I totally agree with the two PP, its  def too early to be testing and dont worry too much, you just started, stay positive, it will happen, you’ll see :))) cheer up young lady !

Post # 6
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@UK Bride:  I also thought we would get pregnant on our first try. We are both in our 20’s (albeit late 20s), exercise regularly, walk a lot, healthy, non-smokers, social drinkers. I was pretty disappointed when it did not happen the first month, although I know the statistics say there is only a 20% chance for healthy couples every month. Onto the next month – they say most healthy couples get pregnant within the first six months or something like that, so stay positive.

Post # 7
8041 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@UK Bride:  Don’t think this way. You’ve tried for one month. I don’t know if stress can make you less fertile, but it can’t help anything. You have plenty of time, and there’s zero indication that either of you have fertility problems, am I right?

Do you have extremely painful, irregular periods? Have you been diagnosed with endo? If not, I would try to stop worrying.

You don’t have to be a teenager to get pregnant on the first try.

Post # 8
4582 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It’s only your first month, don’t stress yet!!

We pulled the goalie in July, I had been charting so I knew I was ovulating and we made a real effort to BD during my fertile window even though it was NOT convenient (we were camping with 3 other couples!) aaaand… we didn’t get pregnant. The following month, I had the same thoughts of “Well… it didn’t happen on our first try, so it will probably take a long time.” I felt kinda “meh” about the whole thing and we didn’t even really try that month… we had sex once in the span of like two weeks, and I was pretty sure I had already ovulated, but I was a day or two late that month and we conceived!

If your AF isn’t due for a week, you may still be pregnant. Or this may not be your month, but that doesn’t mean it won’t happen soon. Best of luck and try to relax!

Post # 9
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@UK Bride:  <<HUGS>> My theory is that teenagers and others who seem to get KU without trying are usually more likely to be habitually careless at BC, and in reality it wasn’t really their first “try”.  Of course it can happen on the first try, but the average is more like 6 months.  Look up “The Great Sperm Race” on YouTube… it gave me a whole new appreciation for all of the things that have to go right to conceive, and it’s pretty entertaining to watch.  You cannot assume that your experience will be anything like the girl next to you – we’re all so different.  Best of luck for a short TTC journey! ๐Ÿ™‚   

Post # 10
1080 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

To be honest, the first 2 months were pretty hard for me, because I expected it to happen right away too and when it didn’t, I also (unneccessarily) freaked the eff out. OMG! I am infertile! I will never have a baby without treatment! I literally cried when I got AF and was saying all these things to Darling Husband.  Then, I got my act together and realized I was being a little silly.  It is super frustrating when some people get pregnant their first try or when they are not trying at all, but it takes a while for many other perfectly normal, healthy couples to conceive too.  I also know what you mean about knowing people who it took a really long time with pretty invasive treatment, but this is definitely not everyone.  

I would highly recommend 2 books:  1: Taking Charge of Your Fertility.  2: The Impatient Woman’s Guide to Getting Pregnant.  They are both quick and pretty easy reads and I have learned SO MUCH from them.  I read TCOYF first, then read the Impatient book at the beginning of my 3rd cycle TTC, and it gave me a whole different perspective about the entire process.  

Definitely come join the POAS boards and the Charters of the Hive boards, there is a serious wealth of knowledge and support from all the wonderful gals on here TTC. I have learned SO MUCH just from everyone on here in the past 2.5 months.  I also really recommend charting, a lot of us use Fertility Friend, and I love it.  I have the app on my phone, and I can access my info on there or just from the internet.  It takes minimal effort, but eases my mind to know that I am doing all I can to get pregnant, and the rest is kind of up to fate/chance/luck/who knows.  So I can relax (a little) knowing I am doing my part, Darling Husband is doing his part, and (we are both Christians) God will give us a baby when He thinks is the right time.  

Hang in there and don’t give up hope yet! I think it gets better after a while once you realize that just because you have amazing timing, etc., getting pregnant is so completely out of your control that it’s just best to stay positive and keep at it…I mean, at least trying to make a baby doesn’t suck too bad! ๐Ÿ˜‰  I also have been planning things to do when AF shows, like go out and drink a few, eat some sushi, and just enjoy the fact that I can still do those things for a little while longer (even though I SOOO would rather have a baby, I think I will miss those things a little!). 

Good luck!! And please stick around, we would love to get to know you! 

(Sorry I always tend to write A BUNCH on every post.  I have a problem LOL). 

Post # 11
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

A week early is definitely too early to get a positive test result.  It takes about 6 days after ovulation for the egg to travel down and implant, and only once it implants, does it start to release the HCG hormone which will be detected by a test.  I think the first response can detect 5 days before a missed period, but they are expensive and you’ll be going through a lot of tests if you keep this up lol.

With that said, we pulled the goalie and thought it would happen the first month too.  It didn’t, and I was really disappointed!  The next month, I came to the realization that it would probably take some time and I should just be patient, we didn’t try as hard, and low and behold, I got pregnant that cycle.  I tested 3 days before my missed period and got a positive on a first response!

Everyone is different, try not to read all the scary stories, and think positive.

I would say try for 6 months, and then if it doesn’t happen, I would get checked out, but even then, a lot of doctors won’t do tests unless you’ve been trying a year.

Good luck and hope it happens soon!!

Post # 13
1272 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

wait, what, are you tricking?? You haven’t finished your first cycle and you are worrying that it will never happen??

Sounds like you should read The Impatient Woman’s Guide to Getting Pregnant – a good overview of the process as well as some tips to speed things up.

And I second PP’s reccomendation of The Great Sperm Race on Youtube – just see what needs to line up in order to get pregnant.

Post # 14
861 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@UK Bride:  I think everyone feel like crap their first cycle of trying and not conceiving, since you have likely spent your whole life being paranoid about conceiving and thinking that if you screw up just once you will get pregnant! After the first disappointment, I found it got a lot easier.

Post # 15
1760 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I 2nd all the previous posters. Still too early to test. Are you charting & temping? It’s seriously what made it for us. Definitely join the monthly ttc boards, they are great at helping talk you off a ledge for testing early ๐Ÿ˜‰ or any other advice. 

Post # 16
1430 posts
Bumble bee

And I thought I over worried!! ha, hang in there I know the let down is tough but you still have hope for this month. I am kind of the opposite of you where you know a bunch of people with fertility problems- everyone in my close circle of friends are fertile freaks that all got pregnant on their first try or on accident. So I feel like it puts even more pressure on me!  Join us on the POAS board for January! Also- read the books listed above if you don’t get KU this month. It will put some things in perspective for you. Also, a lot of us on here are guilty of early testing but it is a real set up for let down so if it bummed you out this much on your first month trying I’d urge you to wait longer to test next time around.

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